I stole a glance at Alex, curious if he showed any signs of being able to feel the electricity. He looked bored. Absolutely, one-hundred percent, bored. He stared lazily ahead at the front of the classroom where Mr. Sterling was yammering something about stars and their positions and…I don’t know, his words sounded far off and distant.
With Alex seeming so relaxed and calm, I assumed there was no way he could feel the electricity. I guess the strange, electric feeling was a one-sided thing. Of course it was. It was me, after all, we were talking about here—The Queen of Freakiness.
But then again…as I peered closer at Alex, I noticed his hands were clenched rather tight. And the line of his jaw looked as 42/695
if he was biting down hard. So maybe I wasn’t alone. Well, either that or Mr. Sterling’s lecture was painful for him to listen to.
As Alex ran his hand tensely through his hair, he caught my eye. I should have looked away. I mean, how many times could I get caught staring at him before he declared me a stalker? But once my eyes met his, looking away was impossible, like an invisible force had magnetized my gaze to his.
My heart thumped deafeningly inside my chest as I stared at him with wide eyes. He didn’t look away either. He didn’t even so much as blink, this half serious, half afraid expression on his face, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to think about the situation.
I wasn’t quite sure what to think about the situation either.
Time seemed to come to a standstill, electricity spiraling through my body, heating my skin hotter and hotter. I felt like I floating, yet suffocating at the same time. I 43/695
could barely breathe. In fact, I couldn’t breathe. The room had started to sway from my lack of oxygen. That’s when I realized I was holding my breath.
Whoops.
I sucked in a breath of air.
Alex blinked, breaking our gaze. Immediately, he flung his attention back to the front of the classroom. I watched him, confused and somewhat sad. Why I felt these things, I couldn’t tell you. Well, at least about the sad part. The confused part was totally understandable.
Electricity that buzzed
between two people. What could be more confusing than that?
But which one of us was causing it? If I had to guess, I’d say it was me since weird seemed to be my middle name. Although, if I was the one causing it, why did I only feel it when I was around him?
“Alright, everyone go ahead and begin.” Mr. Sterling voice rose over my thoughts.
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Great. Go ahead and begin what?
I casually peeked over at Aislin, trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be doing.
“Well,” she flipped open her book, “how should we do this?”
I stared at her blankly. Do what?
Sensing my confusion, she said, “We’re supposed to be working on the review questions as a group.”
“Oh,” I said idiotically. Note to self: start paying better attention. “Um…we could just divide the questions between the three of us, I guess.”
“Is that how you usually do it when you work in a group?” she asked.
“Sure,” I told her, holding back a laugh.
Work in a group. The only time I ever worked in a group was when teachers forced me to. And since this class went by the sit-wherever-you-want-work-with-the-people-45/695
at-your-table option, guess what? I never worked in a group. Ever. Because I sat alone.
All the time.
“Why do we have to work together at all?” Alex interrupted, his voice as sharp as glass. He glared at me, his eyes so full of hate I nearly melted into the back of my chair.
“Alex knock it off.” Aislin hissed. “I mean it. Be nice.”
Well, at least I wasn’t the only one noticing his hatred for me.
He shook his head. “We don’t need to work together just because the teacher suggested it.”
My jaw dropped. Okay, so I know I’m a little weird and everything, but what the heck had I ever done to him? I mean, besides stare a little? Okay, well, maybe a lot. But hey, staring never hurt anyone.
Aislin leaned in toward him and lowered her voice. But I could still hear her. Hello, I was sitting right here.
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“Alex,” she whispered. “I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to stop.
Now.”
After that, it got quiet. And the awkward kind of quiet where no one speaks and the silence is almost maddening.
“You know what,” Alex said, slicing me with a glare, “I think I’m going to take off early.” He shoved his chair away from the table and got to his feet.
Aislin reached up and caught him by the sleeve of his grey thermal shirt. “Alex sit down.”
He yanked his arm away from her, threw his book in his bag, and hurried down the stairs. He went straight up to Mr. Sterling’s desk and said something. Mr. Sterling gave him a nod, and he left, bumping his elbow on doorway on his way out.
For a moment, I just stared at the doorway. There were so many different feelings pouring through me, half of them new. Hurt, 47/695
anger, pain, longing. It was too much. My brain felt like it was going to explode from the overload.
“I’m so sorry,” Aislin apologized. “He’s just been moody lately with the move and everything.”
“Oh.” I tore my eyes off of the doorway and focused on her. “Okay.” She frowned. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Huh?” I shook my head. “No, I’m fine.” I faked a smile, pretending like it wasn’t a big deal. That I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up. That my heart didn’t feel like it was breaking. That a guy I barely knew who hated me wasn’t tearing me apart. But it was.
It really, really was.
Chapter 4
So if I thought my life had been strange with the not-being-able-to-feel-prickle-up-the-neck-and-suddenly-you-can-feel thing (I really needed to give a name), then I had no clue what strange meant. Over the last few days the word “strange” had taken on an entirely new meaning to me.
First off, Alex did not like me. And that was putting it very, very mildly. When he looked at me, half of the time it was as if he was staring of into some far off place—like I wasn’t even there. And the other half of the time, the brightness in his eyes darkened with utter loathing.
It sucked.
Why he felt this way about me still remained a mystery. Yeah, I was a loner and 49/695
everything. I had no friends. I was quiet. Not to mention the violet shade of my eyes was beyond startling. But I just couldn’t see any of these reasons being the cause behind his dislike for me. Even Kelsey Merritt had never pierced me with such withering looks.
The only reason I could come up with, as to why Alex hated me so much, was that maybe he blamed me for the fact that every time he sat down at our table in astronomy, the electric sensation sparked up. But I still wasn’t even sure if he could feel the electricity.
So where did this leave me? Nowhere basically. For the time being, my brain had taken up temporary residency in the Land of Confusion.
Regardless of my problems, life still moved on. School moved on. Mr. Sterling started pushing more and more for group participation, like he could tell Alex and I were having issues and wanted to force us to 50/695
work them out with each other. But how was I supposed to work out my issues with Alex when I wasn’t sure what the issues were?
It didn’t matter, though, because Alex wasn’t having any part of it. He refused to work on any of the assignments as a group, crossing his arms like a two-year-old and not doing anything.
It was Friday when things finally took a shift in a different direction. Mr. Sterling had passed out a deck of cards with the constella-tions printed on them in gold ink. Now, as a group, we were supposed to be holding the cards up for one another and trying to identify them, but doing so would have required all three of us to work together. Instead, Alex had half of the cards and was identifying them to himself. He looked exceptionally good today, dressed in a dark grey Henley and faded jeans, his hair scattered messily just like always. But I was trying my best not to focus on how good he looked. And, let me 51/695