“No, not everything at all.”
“Any of it! It’s irrational, Charlie.” She studied him and wiped her eyes again with the tissue. Beth was a woman who usually tamped down her emotions, but when she decided to let them go they would rise and burst like fireworks.
“Can I tell you something I’ve never told anyone? It’s not easy to admit.”
“I want to know.”
“When I was a little girl, I went to church and I believed. It felt so good. Then, when I got to be a teenager I looked around and I started doubting. Then, when I started studying life-biology, for my medical training-I came to see that life multiplies and sustains itself without any help from God, and it ends without any help from Satan. And the more I looked, the more I saw that there is no God and no Satan, no heaven or hell. These are stories we’ve told ourselves to answer the fear and mysteries of death. I’m an atheist, Charlie. Right down to my godless marrow. I haven’t believed what you believe about Mike since I was a little girl. But I’ve done what you wanted. I’ve tried to make you happy. I love you. I wanted to be with you. So I gave up my home for yours, and I’ve taken care of Erin and Reyes and you. And now, you want to trap another human being and lock him up? Do you not see how crazy that is? How can you not see it?”
“I believe. I’ve seen and heard.”
“I know. I respect it. It’s irrational but I respect your beliefs. I told you four months ago, when I moved in here with you, that our relationship was day-to-day. I still feel that way. I’m moving home, Charlie. I don’t want to lose you. But I won’t be a part of this. I will not.”
She leaned over and kissed him. Hood could smell her tears and taste the salt in them. When he spread his hands against her cheeks, they were wet and he brushed the tears into her hair. She stood, went back into the bedroom, and shut the door.
• • •
Later, out in the kitchen for more coffee and radio news, Hood called Mary Kate. He was fairly sure he’d awakened her. She told him she’d called the play director and they’d been able to postpone last night’s rehearsal for two days. Hood warned her again not to go outside her room unless she absolutely had to. She joked that he was no fun to work for anymore. She said she had a decent view of the street from the Regal, and she’d not seen the blue SUV since she’d checked in sixteen hours ago. She had not left the room and it was getting smaller and smaller. She teased him about getting up so early just to listen to the radio. How could he leave a nice warm bed to do that? What, no one there to talk to? He ignored her and told her to stay alert and rang off just as the next news story came on.
“Imperial County businessman Israel Castro and two other men were gunned down behind Castro’s Jacumba restaurant last night by an unidentified gunman who is still at large. Kitchen workers at Amigos Restaurant heard. .”
His phone buzzed and Hood saw Soriana’s name on the screen. “I just heard about Castro,” he said.
“Forget about Castro for now. Charlie? Hey, look-Lansing called a few minutes ago. You’ve been let go by ATF. I’m sorry.” Hood said nothing. “The attorney general’s going on Face the Nation tomorrow morning. He’s going to announce that six ATF agents have been terminated for the Love Thirty-twos that went to Mexico. Negligence and dereliction of duty. Nothing criminal. Then he’ll talk about sweeping changes at ATF. I don’t know what they’ve come up with at Justice. I’m not sure I want to know. Lansing doesn’t have the balls to call you so I am. Don’t shoot me, Hood, I’m just the messenger. You were a good agent and you deserve better. LASD is probably a better gig anyway.”
Hood felt his heart in his throat and didn’t speak.
“Take your gun and badge and ID to the field office in Buenavista. That would be easiest. Yorth will be there this morning. There’s some paperwork. Lansing wants it all done ASAP. They want the laptop but you can keep the Charger ’til the end of the month.”
“Who else got sacked?”
“Two from Arizona and two from Texas. And Bly. After the House hearing she told off Lansing in front of his people. Really chewed him a new one. So, she kind of volunteered for this. I feel terrible. I want you to know that.”
“Nobody from Arizona or Texas even worked the Love Thirty-twos with us.”
“It’s politics, Charlie. That’s all it is. Point finger. Distribute blame. Wash hands. Forget.”
“I won’t forget. Who’s going to meet Clint Wampler at the Greyhound station?”
“I’ve got Velasquez and Morris doing a homeless act, and three more from here with armor and weapons. San Diego PD is on board with the helo if we need it, and two tactical teams. It’s a mean little army. You don’t really think he’ll show up, do you?”
“No. But we have to.”
“How’s the girl?”
“I just talked to her. She’s in the wind but fine.”
“She’s either brave or not too bright.”
“Anyone get a look at who shot Castro?”
“A dishwasher saw someone with Castro a few minutes before the shots. Caucasian, twenties or thirties, medium height, slender, white hair. A heavy coat.”
“Anyone see his car?”
“No info on a car.”
“It’s Clint Wampler, Frank, right down to the heavy coat.”
“Possibly. But it could have been a down jacket, or a ski jacket or any winter coat. And the hair is wrong.”
“Dye costs ten bucks and takes half an hour. I’d move on this, Frank.”
“Move where? Wampler’s got a gift for disappearing.”
“Get his picture out there to the media again. Now he’s a suspect in three more murders. Someone’s going to notice him.”
Soriana was silent for a long beat. “Thanks. I’ll get the word out. Maybe Wampler will show up to greet his honey after all. And we’ll slap four murders on him.”
“Don’t bet on it.”
“Look, Charlie, I’m sorry about this. You need a recommendation, you need anything from me, and it’s a done deal.”
Hood punched off and poured some coffee and watched the rain come down. Suddenly the roar on the roof decelerated to a thrum and he could hear the runoff clanging down the metal downspouts.
Half an hour later he had showered and shaved and kissed Beth good-bye. He said nothing about the firing. He carried the laptop and his war bag to the car. He wore his own.45 on his hip and a two-shot.40-caliber derringer-a gift from Suzanne Jones-on his ankle. He kept his head up and his eyes busy. If Theresa Brewer could get his home address, why couldn’t Clint Wampler? Oddly, to Hood this felt like any other workday-starting early, trying to anticipate, assessing available luck. He thought of Beth and of Erin and Thomas and Bradley. Of his mother and father. Memorial service soon. He thought of Suzanne. He tried to think of life without ATF and found it vague. Back to Los Angeles and the sheriffs? What about Beth?
He made downtown Buenavista in five minutes. He stopped at his usual doughnut shop. For a while he sat in the small bright-orange-and-yellow booth and watched the working people file in and out, on their ways to make their livings, Saturday or not. He wondered how many times he’d been in here since joining Blowdown four years back. He didn’t think he’d miss this place but he did feel that with his firing, a large door had been closed, and that a long and meaningful chapter of his life was over. Would Beth come to L.A.?
He parked in the underground lot, made sure no news crews were lurking, then carried his war bag and laptop toward the back entrance of the field station. He swept his ID across the sensor and pushed open the door. He wondered if he’d miss this, too: the hugger-mugger of ATF, its insularity and self-propelled intensity, its accomplishments and mistakes, and, well, certainly his agent compadres.
41
Clint sat in the Kia and watched the front of the Imperial Bank building from down the street. He wore a new Cardinals baseball cap and sunglasses and his peacoat. His new binoculars were powerful and they brought up the lobby so close it was like he could walk right in. He saw that the bank was closed up and most of the offices were not open yet. There were a few people in the cafe. The girl making the coffee drinks was pretty. The same big blue-shirted security guard he’d seen before was at his station, sitting behind what looked like a marble desk, reading a newspaper. Clint didn’t know exactly where the ATF office was, but the building was only two stories high and not very large. The reflective glass would be no match for the Stinger.