Once they reached Apollonia he would probably never see her again. The thought tore at him but Corbulo had been right; there was no future in it. Young ladies from rich families didn’t pair off with rough, ignorant men like him. But he believed she liked him and respected him and admired him, and this was enough to bring a smile to his face.
The medal would go in the little pocket he had sewn into his pack, along with the two figurines of Fortuna.
A man had a history. He could make his own history now.
Having eventually dozed off, Indavara was later woken by Simo, who’d come to check his bandages before they joined the others in the deckhouse. Returning to Cassius’s cabin to fetch him, they found him lying on the bed. Simo instantly busied himself by putting away a few odds and ends, but Indavara noticed Cassius wiping his eyes.
‘This damned nose.’
When Simo had finished tidying, he offered Cassius his cloak. ‘Shall we then, sir?’
‘You go ahead, Simo,’ said Indavara.
The Gaul looked to Cassius, who glanced at Indavara.
‘Go on. I can help him up.’
Once Simo had gone, Indavara leant against the wall. ‘Why didn’t you take it?’
‘The medal? Didn’t seem right.’
‘You deserve it as much as I do.’
Cassius just shook his head.
‘This is about the bridge, isn’t it? You’ve told Simo?’
‘I don’t think I can. By the gods, Indavara, the noise of it. And then that silence.’
‘What if they had got across? You were right — the rest of us were too stupid or too scared to even realise it. They would have caught up with us and cut us down in moments. Would you prefer it if we and Eborius and the others had been killed? If they’d taken Annia?’
‘Of course not. Logically … you’re right. I know that. But it doesn’t change the fact that I have to remember it. Live with it. What I did.’
‘You didn’t do anything. We did. Lose sleep over those bastards if you want. I won’t. Any man that chose to side with Carnifex over Eborius deserved everything he got.’
Cassius gazed up at the black beyond the porthole.
‘So, you coming?’ asked Indavara. ‘I can’t get up those steps on my own.’
Eleven people had crowded into the deckhouse. Annia was sitting up but was still covered with blankets. She had said little and seemed initially to resent the invasion of her quarters, but was now watching with amusement as Noster finally got the chance to have his drinking competition with Asdribar, Squint, Korinth and Opilio. The veteran’s wife seemed almost as keen as the men on the cinnamon wine.
For his part, Cassius had decided to take it slow and amuse himself by exchanging the odd smile with Clara. Like her mistress, the maid had light blue ribbons in her hair.
Indavara pointed at the wall above the beds. Asdribar had already added two new mementos to his collection: a pair of crossed Maseene javelins. ‘All that money spent on weapons and we ended up without a blade between us.’
‘Yes, rather ironic,’ replied Cassius.
‘What about those lessons then?’
‘Well, if you’re willing, we can continue them-’
‘-at the earliest opportunity?’
‘Precisely.’
‘I saw you with that chair by the way,’ Indavara added. ‘Good improvisation.’
‘Like you said — him or me.’
Cassius noted that their glasses were empty. Simo beat him to the jug.
‘No, Simo, allow me.’
‘Very well, sir. None for me, thank you. I’m still recovering from the last time.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Cassius, filling each glass in turn. ‘We have good cause to celebrate. Things might have turned out very, very differently.’
‘Fortuna Redux,’ said Indavara thoughtfully. ‘The good luck that brings you home.’
‘Well we eventually had the good luck,’ said Cassius. ‘Home?’ He glanced at Indavara. ‘Well, right now, this feels pretty close to me.’
The three of them clinked their glasses and took a long swig of wine. Noster’s wife asked a question of Simo. He excused himself and turned towards her.
Cassius spied a space under the table and stretched out his legs. ‘I remember back in Antioch — you complaining about how you were getting soft, not seeing enough action to keep you sharp. Had enough for the moment?’
‘More than enough,’ replied Indavara.
‘By the gods, so have I. What a few months — that affair with the flag and then we get dragged into this.’
Cassius glanced across at Annia. ‘You know neither of us is really good husband material, what with the Service despatching us on hazardous assignments to far-flung corners of the Empire. I fear we shall just have to accept casual assignations for the time being.’
‘I think I can live with that,’ said Indavara. He turned to Cassius with a conspiratorial grin. ‘Tell me more about these hearth girls.’