• She pleases you
• Have intercourse (check out the “Best Sex Positions” special report for this one.)
• Give her more orgasms (through oral, fingering, a combination of both, or through intercourse).
CHAPTER 8
Phase III: Surrender
More on Orgasms
You’ve set up a relaxing atmosphere, gave her a massage, labial massage, oral sex, G-spot, blended… and taken her to at least 3 orgasms.
Since we’ve already touched on the subject of how-to techniques to bring a woman to an orgasm in the previous chapter, this chapter will focus on some of the finer details of the pre-orgasm, and the orgasm.
Pre-Orgasm: What to Expect, and What to Do
Just moments before she has an orgasm, you’ll notice that her breathing gets deeper, she starts sweating, vagina contracts more often, and her body begins to tense up and relax.
This is the transition from the Plateau stage, where you’re building up the sexual tension, to the Orgasm, where she’s about to release the tension.
The “Pre-Orgasm” is where, I believe, most people reach.
They’ve built up the sexual tension to the point of where she’s on the brink of having an orgasm…but all of a sudden, it’s gone!
Here are some very important points to remember to guarantee that she’ll successfully have an orgasm:
Whatever you’re doing up until this point, hold steady and maintain what you’re doing… don’t change! Maintain contact, speed, rhythm, pressure etc.
Often times couples will either go faster, slower, or stop altogether when she’s close to having an orgasm. But… the trick that if it’s working already, don’t change a thing.
The orgasm will fall into place if you maintain what has been working so far.
Whether you’re performing oral sex on her, fingering, or having intercourse, during the time right before an orgasm she might be tempted to move. Don’t let her!
What you’re doing is literally overwhelming her with physical pleasure. It’s almost like there’s TOO much sexual tension injected into her, and she wants to release it somehow. What you want is the tension to be released as an orgasm, but sometimes, women might squirm, and move around.
If she moves to a different position, whatever it is you’re doing won’t feel as good sexually. This build up of sexual tension and pleasure has stopped, and she’ll no longer feel overwhelmed by physical pleasure… but… this is not what you (or what she) wants! You want to drive her over the edge!
When you know that she’s very close to having an orgasm, you need to encourage her that it’s okay to just let go, and not to trap those feelings inside.
It might even be the case that she’s afraid of urinating from G-spot stimulation (more on this below). If this is so, she’ll tense up as if she was holding in her urine, and she’ll likely not be able to experience an orgasm. She has to be relaxed, and feel comfortable even if she does expel a little bit of fluid from her body (it’s not urine though!)
Finally, do a quick check to make sure that she’s not holding her breath. She’s got to breathe in order to cum.
Though she might not realize it, by holding her breath, she’s inadvertently holding back her orgasm. If you notice that holding her breath is habitual, you might want to gently coach her to take in a few slow, deep breaths.
Orgasm: What You Need to Do
Once she’s having an orgasm, the main indicators you’ll see are spasms, or, involuntary contractions of her body, and most importantly, her vaginal muscles.
Again…
The techniques you have been using have brought you this far and you want to “squeeze out” every last bit of her orgasm as possible.
Also, with the continued stimulation during orgasm, she’ll have a more intense orgasm as opposed to if you simply stopped.
The only time you should stop is when her orgasm is complete, and the involuntary bodily contractions has ceased.
Female orgasms are easy to fake to someone who doesn’t know what to look for. We’ve seen women faking orgasms in porno films, and we might have experienced a woman faking an orgasm ourselves!
Is She Too Vocal?
Typically, the women who fake orgasm tend to be very vocal (obviously borrowed from the climatic scenes of adult movies). If she’s screaming, moaning, in a tone where it doesn’t sound like her voice is shaking…or…if she’s saying things that sound “clear” (for example: “Oh My God!” vs. “Oo-h-oohh m-m-m-y-y-…oo…g-g-g..od..!”), then that’s a sign she’s faking.
Contractions and Other Physical Signs
During orgasms, a woman vagina and anus will contract. During a real orgasm, the vagina will contract strongly at about 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. A woman can mimic a strong vaginal contraction, but to do it at that pace is very difficult.
Other signs she’s faking:
• She doesn’t have the “Sex Flush” (reddish skin)
• Her anus isn’t contracting
• Pupil size hasn’t dilated
The chances of her faking the full body spasms, vaginal contractions, shaking voice, reddish sex flush, along with the sweating, vaginal lubrication and other physical indicators are slim to none.
Multiple Orgasms
Multiple orgasms can be a difficult topic to handle because so many women think that they’re incapable of having them.
The truth is that all women have the inherent biological capacity to achieve them. It’s just that not all of them have the experience or recognize the natural potential.
Once your partner has her first orgasm, that should make it easier (and more intimate) for her to maintain and escalate her arousal by transitioning into a cool-down bonding time of cuddling and kissing, before moving into g-spot stimulating intercourse or continued manual stimulation.
That said there are some pretty good selling points regarding multiple orgasms. First off, it’s actually easier for your lover to experience her second (or third or fourth) orgasm because her engines are already primed.
She’s relaxed, aroused, sexually sensitive and responsive.
As I’ve already mentioned, most women are naturally (and quite often obliviously) multiple orgasmic. If she can cum once, she can almost positively do it again (some women can have as many as 50 consecutive orgasms!)
Right after the orgasm, her clitoris will be very sensitive, so you want to allot a few moments of a “break” before stimulating her again. Additionally, keeping things slow can help you cool off a bit and help you to last longer and regain some of your strength and stamina.
At this point, move into cuddling and kissing, where the both of you can take a break from the action…but…keep the palm of your hands covering her entire genital area. As you’re kissing, you can start to rub her vulva slowly with the palm of your hands.
If she pushes you away, then, it’s too soon to move back in.
However, is she moans, presses her genitals against your palms, or any other sign that what you’re doing is making her feel good, then you know you can move back to stimulating her again.