"And you believed this?"
"Scientifically proven."
"If this is so, how did that woman get there?"
Remo looked doubtful. "The article didn't say," he admitted.
"Did it say how this one woman who came before all others came to be with child?"
"No. It didn't."
"Maybe the Supreme Creator took her rib and then created the first man. You whites are always getting your history backwards."
"That's not funny. And just because they left out a few details doesn't mean they haven't proven their case."
"They left out two important details like that and you accepted all the rest of their nonsense! Remo, you are too much. You will believe anything. Even Reverend Sluggard's chicanery."
"I haven't made up my mind about him. Yet."
"And I have not finished telling you the religious beliefs of Sinanju."
"I'm listening."
"I have told you about the Supreme Creator. He lives in a place called the Void. When Koreans die, they cast off their broken bodies and join him in the void. "
Remo waited. "What else?"
"Else? What else can there be?"
"What about heaven and hell?"
"Silly stories created by unholy holy men to manipulate other men."
"What about sin?"
"That is a priest's word," Chiun spat. "We believe that a man makes mistakes. If they are little mistakes, he will learn from them. If they are big mistakes, he will naturally pay for the consequences of his actions within his lifetime."
"What about forgiveness?"
"The Supreme Creator does not hold grudges."
"What about Jesus?"
"What about Buddha? And Mohammed? And Zoroaster? And Shiva?"
"Don't confuse me with tales of Shiva. I asked about Jesus. "
Chiun shrugged. "A carpenter. A rabble-rouser. We had a contract on him at one time, but something more important came up. By the time my ancestor got around to him, he was already dead."
"I was raised to believe he was the Son of God."
"And Masters of Sinanju are taught to do business with kings, not their princes."
"You've got a cockamamie religious system, you know that?"
"Cockamamie?"
"It's too ...too ..."
"Simple?" asked Chiun.
"Yeah. Too simple."
"Simplicity is perfection, and perfection, simplicity. The Supreme Creator knew what he was doing. Now I see that the rice is ready. Will you have some?"
"Do you have enough?" Remo asked, eyeing the boiling pot hungrily.
"No, but I am willing to sacrifice."
"I don't want to take all your rice," Remo protested.
"It is a small sacrifice."
Remo hesitated. Finally he said, "Well, okay. But not too much."
And Chiun smiled to himself. Remo had forgotten the white woman with the lascivious mouth. It was as it was written in the Book of Sinanju: "A female is but a female, but rice is a meal." He had once shared that mighty insight with Remo, but Remo had claimed it was a corruption of a white saying having to do with smoking tobacco weeds, another filthy white habit.
Chapter 18
They came from all over America. By bus and bicycle, by jet, and on foot.
From Maine, from Texas, from California, even from faraway Alaska. Their hair was short and it hung to their shoulder blades. They wore ties and cufflinks and earrings and spiked collars. Some carried expensive luggage in both hands and others only pocket change. They were young and naive, yet hard beyond their years. They were polite and profane. But the one thing they all had in common was that they cried for blood. Moslem blood.
"It's a mob!" cried Reverend Eldon Sluggard, watching them pour through the gates of the Eldon Sluggard World Ministries from the wheelhouse of his luxury yacht.
"No." Victoria Hoar smiled. "It's an army. Our army."
"Where are we going to put 'em all?" Eldon Sluggard moaned. "How are we gonna feed 'em all. You got any idea how much teenagers eat? This is the sixth day of this. Ah never imagined this kind of response."
"We'll find room," Victoria said. She consulted a clipboard containing sheafs of paper. "According to my figures, we're getting a seventy-percent sign-up rate. That's after we weed out the party-seekers with psychological-evaluation tests."
"Are you sure that seventy percent is solid? Ah don't want any more chicken-livered ones like that Booe boy. "
"We've improved the tests since the first Crusade. If these numbers hold up, we'll be up to division strength inside of a week."
"Well," said Eldon Sluggard, watching his security people work the crowd, "Ah hope we don't go broke feeding 'em before we ship 'em out."
Out by the gates, Eldon Sluggard's uniformed security people, under the watchful eyes of Remo and Chiun, were frisking the incoming recruits, confiscating bottles of liquor and, in some cases, firearms. A guard took a twelve-gauge shotgun from one blond boy, and the boy protested. He reached for his weapon. Chiun suddenly appeared behind him and the boy went as stiff as a post and keeled over. He was carried off, still stiff. The crowd settled down.
"Our new security boys sure know how to work a crowd. But on mah life, Ah can't figure them out."
"Neither can I. But as long as they do their job and don't get snoopy, I can handle their being here."
"They got another game. Ah can feel it."
"They're not with the government. They don't feel right for FBI plants."
"Ah don't like the old one. He's too smart. Remo is just a mark as far as Ah'm concerned, but the old one makes me damn nervous."
"Uh-huh," Victoria Hoar said absently as she consulted her clipboard again. "They're incredibly good and they're here to protect you. What have you to be afraid of?"
"The devil," said Reverend Eldon Sluggard worriedly. Victoria Hoar looked up suddenly. Her eyebrows inched together. "What did you say?"
"The devil. Ah'm afraid of the devil, and not ashamed to admit it either."
"I thought you were above that superstitious drivel."
"Ah am. Ah don't believe in God. But the devil is different. Ah've had nightmares about him. Ah can feel his hairy hands clutching at mah poor throat sometimes. When Ah wake up, Ah can see him grinnin' at me in the dark. Ah can't see his face, just those white teeth floatin' in the air. When Ah blink, they go away."
"Are you serious?" Victoria drank in Sluggard's uneasy expression. "You are serious, aren't you?"
"Sometimes he's tall and green with a short spiky tail. Sometimes he's little and yellow with knowing eyes and long horny claws. Like that old chink."
"Remo says he's Korean."
"He's the devil. Ah had a dream last night. He crawled out from under my bed and sprouted leathery green bat wings. Then he carried me off to hell. Ah woke up sweatin' like a boiled pig, and Ah don't even believe in hell. Ah don't want him near me no more."
Victoria Hoar sighed. "I'll put Remo on you permanently. Chiun can handle everything else. Will that satisfy you?"
"He's Satan!" Reverend Eldon Sluggard repeated.
"Get a grip on yourself. You sound like one of those damned mullahs." Victoria Hoar sighed audibly and returned to her sheets. "We now have sixteen Reverend-Sergeants. They're fully indoctrinated. I think it's safe to take the three oldest and smartest ones and promote them to Reverend-Majors. I'm scheduling a ceremony for tonight at seven."
"Yeah, yeah, good," Reverend Sluggard said distractedly.
"I thought we might rush some of today's recruits through and let them in on the ceremony. Then you can give your little speech."
"Uh-hum. "
"They're so pumped up when they come in that I think we can risk processing them faster than before. Besides, with these numbers, I think we're going to have to move them into the Gulf sooner than we planned, before they cool down."
"Right, right."
"Are you listening?" demanded Victoria Iioar, snapping her fingers in Sluggard's ear.