So far, so good. No one had realized we were dating. And to keep it a secret, it had to be a secret from everyone, which included Cathy.
However, my conscience couldn’t let Cathy keep thinking I needed setting up on dates.
“You know, I think I might take a break from dating,” I said brightly.
She went on as if I hadn’t spoken. “His name is Dane and he’s twenty-three and he already manages the café near my house. On social media he talks about art and painting, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. This,” she said, stabbing her finger beside his face, “is your future husband.”
“Right.” The picture didn’t have great resolution and only showed his head and shoulders, but I could tell he wasn’t as broad as Finn. His hair was medium brown compared to Finn’s dark brown, and he had one eyebrow raised behind his glasses in a way that was cute, but not something Finn would ever do in a photo.
I pulled my cheese sandwich from the container. “Have you been stalking this guy or do you actually know him?”
“I know him,” she said but her eyes slid to the left.
“Oh my God, Cathy. You’re stalking people to set me up on dates now?”
“I buy coffee from him every morning and today it suddenly hit me that he could be the love of your life, so I looked up the café on social media and followed some links until I found his personal pages. That’s all. Nothing wrong with any of that,” she said primly, then grinned.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Do you even know if he’s single? Or straight?”
“He hasn’t checked the ‘in a relationship’ box or mentioned a partner anywhere.”
“Maybe he values his privacy,” I said, heavy on the irony.
She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered. “Maybe, but it can’t hurt to try. How about we meet there for coffee Saturday morning?”
“I can’t. Saturday is Finn’s birthday.” We still didn’t have a plan but it was an unwritten birthday rule that we were around for the full day at least.
“Okay, what about Sunday?”
I bit into my sandwich and made a non-committal noise.
Cathy narrowed her eyes at me over her coffee mug. “Are you seeing someone?”
The room shrank down and I was lost in memories. Finn’s body pressed against me late last night in my bed. Finn’s mouth, hot and wet, on my throat. Finn entering me, filling me. Finn groaning into my neck as he came. My skin heated and I pushed away from the table. Water. I needed about a gallon of water.
Cathy followed. “You are seeing someone! Why didn’t you tell me?”
After I’d finished an entire glass of water in one go, I took a breath and faced her with an I’ve-got-nothing-to-hide smile. “Nope, not seeing anyone.”
I crossed my fingers behind my back.
Cathy folded her arms. “Then what was that look in your eyes for?”
“What look? There was no look. My eyes are always like this.”
Jared, one of the lawyers, came in for coffee, passed a remark on the weather and left. Cathy not-so-patiently waited until he was gone, then said, “When I asked if you were seeing someone, your eyes glazed over and you happy-sighed.”
“I made no happy sigh.” Though it was totally possible I had, since the feel of my legs wrapped around Finn’s hips as he thrust inside me was definitely my new happy place.
“You’re doing it again!” Cathy tapped her shoe on the linoleum floor. “Spill.”
“I can’t,” I said then winced. I’d pretty much just admitted there was a secret.
Cathy grabbed my elbow and steered me back to our seats at the end of the table, where our lunches still sat. “Scarlett Logan, you will tell me what’s going on right now. Is it one of the partners of the firm? Is that why you’re keeping it a secret?”
“What? No!”
“Then who?”
I picked up my apple and toyed with the stalk. Maybe I could tell her. She didn’t know anyone else in our little friends and family bubble, and it might be good to have someone to talk to about it all. Normally I talked to Finn about my love life. Now he was my love life, which limited my options somewhat.
“Okay, here’s the thing. I slept with Finn by accident and now we’re going to try dating.”
Cathy’s mouth popped open in a silent, thrilled scream. “That’s fantastic. You’re already friends and he’s so hot and he sleeps in the same house—this is perfect!”
A warm fuzzy glow sprang to life in my chest—she was right, this could be perfect if we didn’t screw it up. Plus, it was nice to have someone else as excited about this as I was. “We’re keeping it a secret for now, until we find our rhythm.”
“Roger. My lips are sealed.” She mimed locking her mouth then completely ruined the effect by immediately opening it again. “Tell me the sex is great. Please tell me that much.”
“The best sex I’ve ever had.” I tried not to look too smug, but it was a hard ask and I probably failed. “Five times better than any other sex. Maybe six.”
“You’re not still worried about him being aloof if you dated him, are you? Because I think that horse already bolted.”
It was that, but so much more too. “Finn is pretty much the most important person in my life. I love my parents and my brother, but I don’t see them every day.” Well, I did see my parents every day at the moment, but they’d move on soon. “If I have a falling out with anyone else in my life that I care about, it would be a sad thing. But if this goes wrong with Finn, and I lose him and have to move out, my entire life would be turned upside down. We eat breakfast and dinner together every day. We’re involved in each other’s families. He’s my biggest cheer squad and support. If I ruin all that for sex—even great sex—I’d be devastated.” Devastated was far too mild a word. My world might end. I couldn’t lose him.
She scrunched up her nose as she considered. “Okay, I see that. But I think it will work and you’ll have it all. You’ll have that friend stuff plus great sex every night.”
“That’s what I’m counting on.” Praying for. I picked the stalk out of the top of my apple. “My entire life seems to be about gambles at the moment.”
“What else is going on?”
I glanced around to check no one was coming through the door. “I’ve been offered a promotion here, to a PA position.”
“That’s great,” Cathy said, practically bouncing in her chair. “It will be so much easier to sync our lunch breaks.”
Good point. “So you think I should take it?”
She frowned. “You didn’t already?”
“They said I could have this week to think about it.” And the week was almost up. I really had to make a decision. Cathy and I had talked about her life for most of our lunches this week, so I’d avoided mentioning it. I’d hoped if I let my mind settle in with all the information, it would spit out the answer, but that method hadn’t worked even a little. Maybe I should have told Cathy sooner.
“Are you holding out for more?” she asked in a stage whisper.
That depended on the definition of more. “This was supposed to be a temporary job to save up some money to finish my degree. I’m still officially enrolled in accounting, I’ve just deferred it.” Twice. But who was counting.
Cathy leaned back in her chair. “Do you want to be an accountant?”
I automatically opened my mouth to say “yes”, but paused. For all intents and purposes, Cathy was outside the ecosystem of Finn and my parents, so I could be honest without worrying that anything I admitted would be held against me in future discussions about my career.
“I don’t hate accountancy—the spreadsheets and graphs are fun—but it’s not a dream career or anything.” Though, how many people got to work in their dream career? Maybe I was being too picky.
“Why did you choose it?” She swiped one of my apples.
“Honestly? A friend in high school had parents who were both accountants. They had a nice house and enough money for things they needed.”