He was pretty indeed, with big blue long-lashed eyes and a crop of golden curls which made it easy to believe that he was indeed the child of the Sunlord. Kassandra admired and kissed him, then asked Phylhda in a sufficiently awed tone, "How did you know it was the God who had come to you?"
"At first I did not know," the girl said, "I thought it was a man in the mask of the God, and I opened my mouth to cry out for one of the governesses: but then - have you ever heard the voice of the God, daughter of Priam?"
Kassandra felt a catch in her throat, remembering that voice; she said, "I have heard—" and could not go on.
"Then, if it happens to you, you will know," said Phyllida abruptly, and said no more.
Kassandra looked again at the little boy and said, "He is beautiful; may I hold him for a moment?"
"Certainly." The child had fallen asleep, though his baby mouth, like a half-opened rose, still clung to the nipple; Phyllida lifted him and put him into Kassandra's arms. He stirred and whimpered, but she jiggled him a little as she had seen his mother do and he was quiet. His weight, damp and soft in her arms, was unlike anything else she had ever felt; even among the Amazons she had never held quite so young a baby. She bent over close to him, touching the soft skin with her lips; it felt exactly like rose-petals.
For a moment a vast content came over her; then it seemed as if a cloud covered the sun, and a cold wind blew over her though she was sitting still in the warm bright court under a sun which almost burned her, so that she drew the end of her veil over the baby lest it should damage his eyes or burn his skin. She recognized the darkness of vision, and, motionless, awaited what she could not avoid.
Suffering and grief were the essence of it; somehow she slid through time and knew that years had passed since this quiet moment; the child who lay against her breast was her own, the little head in her bosom was dark and curly, and even as that strange inward surge of happiness touched her it was clouded with despair, the memory of this very moment, and an angry revulsion. It was so strong that for a moment it paralysed her then she knew where she was again; for once she had managed to prevent the dark waters from drowning her.
She saw Phyllida's wide childish eyes regarding her in something like dread as she put the babe back into his mother's arms. Phyllida whispered, "You looked so far away and strange, Kassandra. They say you can see into the future; what did you see for my child?" And as Kassandra was silent, she entreated, "You would not curse my baby?"
"No, no, of course not, little one," Kassandra said.
"Will you bless him then, daughter of Priam?"
Kassandra wished to reassure her, and reached within herself for the distant touch of the Goddess, to draw upon that power for blessing; instead she heard herself say: 'Alas, there is no blessing for any child of Troy born in this inauspicious year; but perhaps Apollo, his father, will bless him where I may not." She rose quickly and went away, leaving Phyllida staring after her in wordless dismay.
CHAPTER 19
A few days later, a messenger arrived, with gifts from the King's house for the Temple, and a message for Kassandra herself.
"Your father and mother have asked that you may make a visit to your home for the wedding of your sister Creusa."
"I shall have to ask leave," Kassandra told him, but permission was readily granted - perhaps too readily. Kassandra knew that it would not have been so swiftly given for any of the other young priestesses, and she really wished to be treated as one of them; but she could not fault the priests and priestesses that they did not wish to offend Troy's King. They insisted only that -since she was not yet a full priestess but still in the probationary year - if she wished to spend the night in her father's house she must be properly accompanied and chaperoned by a senior priestess.
The priestess who heard her request said, "It lies in your power to confer a favour, daughter of Priam: who will you have to accompany you?"
Kassandra was not totally a stranger to these kind of courtly intrigues; whoever she chose, others might feel slighted. Making a choice no one could fault or envy, she chose the elderly Charis, who had first welcomed her to the House of the God.
Dressing herself in the most festive of the few simple dresses she had with her, with the older woman at her side, she went quietly through the streets, attended only by one of the Temple slaves.
Charis, a lifelong dweller in the House of the Sunlord, was nevertheless impressed as they approached the Great Citadel of Priam, and said little.
Kassandra was silent too, for she had looked down from the heights and seen again the dark ships in the harbor, not knowing whether they were really there or yet to come.
As they entered the forecourt, Hecuba came to greet them; Kassandra bent to embrace her mother - Hecuba was a tall woman but now Kassandra was taller still, and Hecuba lamented as she turned her face up to her tall daughter: 'You cannot be still growing! Why, you are taller than most warriors, Kassandra! A man might not wish to have you near—"
"What does it matter, mother? Since I am not to be married but to dwell in the House of the God…'
"That I shall never accept," said Hecuba with spirit. "I want to see your children before I die…'
But you never will, Kassandra suddenly knew; it came with the painful memory of holding Phyllida's child in her lap, that before she held her grandchild - the bitterness, the despair— Hecuba's eyes would forever have closed on this world.
"Mother, let's not speak of that; if you want a wedding, you have Creusa now to marry off, and Polyxena's older than I am, and still unwed. Find her a husband, and don't bother about me," she said. "Tell me about Creusa's husband."
"She is to marry Aeneas, son of Anchises," Hecuba said. "So handsome, they say he is truly a son of foam-born Aphrodite…'
"She is a Goddess of whom I know nothing," Kassandra said, before she remembered the beautiful one in Paris's dream; Goddess of love and beauty, surrounded by her doves. If his father claims to be the lover of Aphrodite, I should think the Goddesses would be angry with him," said Kassandra. "I must see this marvel of a man."
"Well, Creusa is content with him, and so is your father," said Hecuba, "and in my youth I would have been more than happy with such a husband." She turned a little anxiously to Kassandra and said, "Please try not to prophesy doom at this wedding, darling; it upsets people so much."
Kassandra thought with a surge of anger: Does she think I prophesy for the pleasure of doing it? But her mother looked so troubled that Kassandra could not be angry; she kissed her again and said, "I will certainly try not to see any disasters; if the Gods are kind, I may be able to foretell something better."
"Gods grant it," murmured Hecuba piously. "Well, come in, my dear; I have missed you very much."
After a moon spent in the House of the Sunlord, everything in the palace seemed smaller and gaudy; yet dear and familiar. Andromache, dressed for the wedding in flame-dyed finery, ran out to greet Kassandra. Her pregnancy was very obvious now, and she waddled with the typical walk of a pregnant woman, tilting her body backward for balance. Kassandra, thinking of the lithe young girl in Imandra's house, felt saddened, but Andromache embraced her joyously.
"Oh, I am so glad to see you! I wish you would marry and come home so we could be together! Just think, in another moon I will have my son in my arms!"
"Where is Oenone? Should she not be among us? A pregnant woman is the luckiest of all guests at a wedding."
"She is not pregnant now," said Andromache. "Have you not heard? She bore Paris a son four days ago, and she is still in bed; she had a dreadful time, poor thing - your mother said she was so slender she should have known better than to have a child at all. But when I asked how she could have avoided it, she would not tell me - she said Hector would not like it. Oenone has called her son Corythus - so if Creusa wants a pregnant woman at her wedding she will have to make do with me."