DICK-[With gay mockery.]Well, the gang's all here. Looks like the League of Nations.[Then with impatience.] Let's get down to cases, folks. I want to know why I've been summoned here. I'm due for tournament mixed-doubles at the Casino at five. Where's the tea-and has Curt a stick in the cellar to put in it?
LILY-[Appearing in the doorway.]Here's tea-but no stick for you, sot.[The MAID brings in tray with tea things.]
JOHN-[Heavily.]It seems it would be more to the point to inquire where our hostess-
JAYSON-[Rousing himself again.]Yes. And where is Curt?
LILY-Working at his book. He called Martha to take notes on something.
ESTHER-[With a trace of resentment.]She left us as if she were glad of the excuse.
LILY-Stuff, Esther! She knows how much Curt depends on her-and we don't.
EMILY-[In her quiet, lisping voice-with the most innocent air.]Martha seems to be a model wife.[But there is some quality to the way she says it that makes them all stare at her uneasily.]
LILY-[Insultingly.]How well you say what you don't mean, Emily! Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! But I'm forgetting to do the honors. Tea, everybody?[Without waiting for any answer.] Tea, everybody![The tea is served.]
JAYSON-[Impatiently.]Stop fooling, Lily. Let's get to our muttons. Did you talk with Martha?
LILY-[Briskly.]I did, sir.
JAYSON-[In a lowered voice.]What did she say?
LILY-She said you could all go to the devil![They all look shocked and insulted. LILY enjoys this, then adds quietly.] Oh, not in those words. Martha is a perfect lady. But she made it plain she will thank you to mind your own business.
ESTHER-[Volubly.]And just imagine, she'd even forgotten she'd asked us here this afternoon and was going motoring with Bigelow.
LILY-With his three children, too, don't forget.
EMILY-[Softly.]They have become such well-behaved and intelligent children, they say.[Again all the others hesitate, staring at her suspiciously.]
LILY-[Sharply.]You'd better let Martha train yours for a while, Emily. I'm sure she'd improve their manners-though, of course, she couldn't give them any intelligence.
EMILY-[With the pathos of outraged innocence.]Oh!
DICK-[Interrupting.]So it's Bigelow you're up in the air about?[He gives a low whistle-then frowns angrily.] The deuce you say!
LILY-[Mockingly.]Look at our soldier boy home from the wars getting serious about the family honor! It's too bad this is a rough, untutored country where they don't permit dueling, isn't it, Dick?
DICK-[His pose crumbling-angrily.]Go to the devil!
SHEFFIELD-[With a calm, judicious air.]This wrangling is getting us nowhere. You say she was resentful about our well-meant word to the wise? JAYSON-[Testily.]Surely she must realize that some consideration is due the position she occupies in Bridgetown as Curt's wife.
LILY-Martha is properly unimpressed by big frogs in tiny puddles. And there you are.
MRS. DAVIDSON-[Outraged.]The idea! She takes a lot upon herself- the daughter of a Wild Western coal-miner.
LILY-[Mockingly.]Gold miner, Aunt.
MRS. DAVIDSON-It makes no difference-a common miner! SHEFFIELD-[Keenly inquisitive.] Just before the others came, Lily, you gave out some hints-very definite hints, I should say-
ESTHER-[Excitedly.]Yes, you did, Lily. What did you mean?
LILY-[Uncertainly.]Perhaps I shouldn't have. It's not my secret.[Enjoying herself immensely now that she holds the spotlight- after a pause, in a stage whisper.] Shall I tell you? Yes, I can't help telling. Well, Martha is going to have a son.[They are all stunned and flabbergasted and stare at her speechlessly.]
MRS. DAVIDSON-[Her face lighting up-joyously.]A son! Curt's son!
JAYSON-[Pleased by the idea but bewildered.]A son?
DICK-[Smartly.]Lily's kidding you. How can she know it's a son- unless she's a clairvoyant.
ESTHER-[With glad relief.]Yes, how stupid!
LILY-I am clairvoyant in this case. Allah is great and it will be a son-if only to make you and Emily burst with envy among your daughters.
ESTHER-Lily!
EMILY-Oh!
JAYSON-[Testily.]Keep still for a moment, Lily, for God's sake. This is no subject to joke about, remember.
LILY-Martha told me. I know that.
JAYSON-And does Curt know this?
LILY-No, not yet. Martha has been afraid to tell him.
JAYSON-Ah, that explains matters. You know I asked Curt some time ago-and he said it was impossible.
EMILY-[With a lift of her eyebrows.]Impossible? Why, what a funny thing to say.
SHEFFIELD-[Keenly lawyer-like.]And why is Martha afraid to tell him, Lily?
LILY-It's all very simple. When the two died years ago, they said they would never have one again. Martha thinks Curt is still haunted by their memory and is afraid he will resent another as an intruder. I told her that was all foolishness-that a child was the one thing to make Curt settle down for good at home here and write his books.
JAYSON-[Eagerly.]Yes, I believe that myself.[Pleased.] Well, this is fine news.