With a squawk, she breaks off her speech. Instantly, the enormous jaws, the black ocean, the crowds of people, vanish, and Lottie’s in the darkened closet. All strength gone from her legs, she slumps against the wall. It’s as if she can breathe again. She sucks in lungfuls of air, not caring that it’s rich with Helen’s stench, while her heart throbs so hard it makes her nauseated. The closet spins around her, which squeezing her eyes closed helps only a little. She hears Helen shuffling toward her and does what she should have in the first place: she screams, as long and loud as she can. When Helen grabs her mouth with one cold, damp hand, Lottie lashes out, punching and kicking. The dead woman responds in kind, slamming Lottie’s head with her other hand. Fireworks flash behind Lottie’s eyes, and she swings out into unconsciousness and back. Someone is pounding on the closet door, shouting for whoever’s inside to open up. That voice rapidly becomes a chorus. Helen hisses, no word in her death-tongue, just a sign of frustration. She heaves Lottie into the air and pivots around. Frantic, Lottie tears at Helen’s fingers, trying to pry them loose. She can hear her mother’s voice among those at the door. She kicks furiously, connecting with her captor’s legs. Helen staggers, but maintains her grip. “He waits, girl,” she says. “He will always be waiting for you.”
Then Lottie’s flying through the air. One instant, she’s hanging suspended in space. The next, she’s colliding with the closet door. She falls to the floor, and the door springs open, spilling the crowd outside it in. Lottie’s co-workers pour into the closet so fast they don’t notice her lying in front of them, and they trip and fall over her. All at once, she’s at the bottom of a pile of men and women swearing furiously at one another as they try to regain their footing. Lottie’s voice, knocked out of her by the crash into the door, returns, and she screams for help, screams for her mother to help her. Clara hears her above the din and starts hauling bodies off her, yelling at them to get up, that’s her daughter they’re crushing under their fat asses. A pair of hands catches Lottie beneath the arms, and she scrambles to her feet and into Clara’s embrace. Lottie wraps herself around her mother, hugs her in that self-abandoned way she had as a child. “What?” Clara says, “All this over a bag of almonds?”
That’s it. At her mother’s joke, Lottie bursts into tears, sobbing as if her heart had broken. She continues to cry as Clara leads her out of the closet and out of the bakery. She cries all the way home, and after Clara has undressed her and put her to bed. She cries herself to uneasy sleep, and later, Clara will tell her that, even then, she continued crying.
As for Helen, she’s gone, disappeared from the closet as if she opened a door in the darkness and stepped through it. Traces of her remain. Her smell, which sickens half a dozen people to the point of vomiting, lingers in the air, while her muddy trail dirties its floor. Seeing the dirty footprints, Clara knew what had happened, which is why she removes Lottie to the safety of their home. Why Helen threatened her daughter Clara isn’t sure, but she guesses it’s connected to whatever it is that kept Rainer at his books for most of last night.
XII
Rainer runs in the door. As he’s drawn closer to home, the conviction has been growing in him that whatever has happened to Lottie is the direct result of his experiments the previous night, what he had hinted at to Italo. The look on Clara’s face as he stops, panting, in the kitchen, is confirmation that his recent activity has not gone unnoticed. On hearing that Helen has visited his daughter, Rainer is distraught. Despite Clara’s assertion that the girl has been through enough excitement for one day, and she needs her rest, Rainer insists on seeing her. He swears he’ll be quiet, but when he sees her lying in her bed, still faintly sobbing, a kind of strangled noise forces its way out of his mouth. Clara whispering, “Come back!” he crosses to the bed Lottie usually shares with her sisters and sits down on the edge of it. His daughter does not waken. Rainer places his hand on Lottie’s forehead, and snatches it back, as if he’s been burned. He looks down at the floor, his shoulders sagging, and mutters something Clara can’t hear from her position at the door. Lottie inhales sharply, sniffles, sobs once, twice, and falls quiet. Rainer stands and walks quickly out of the room.
“What is it?” Clara asks when they’ve closed the door. “What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s sick,” Rainer answers. “That woman — that thing has done something to her.”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” Rainer says, “but she has been poisoned.”
“Poisoned?” Clara says.
“Yes,” Rainer says. “Her soul is sick, very sick.”
Clara glares at him, trying to control her frustration. “Her soul,” she says. “So has she really been poisoned, or are you speaking in metaphors?”
“Both,” Rainer says. “That woman has done violence to a part of Lottie we cannot see or touch. But it is a crucial part of her all the same, and the wound to it has sickened the Lottie we can see and touch.”
“Can she be cured?” Clara asks.
“I have given her a blessing,” Rainer says, “which will help a little.”
“Should we send for Reverend Gross?”
“The minister?” Rainer snorts the word. “What does a minister know about any of this? They spend all their days worrying about who might be thinking impure thoughts — who might be thinking at all. You might as well ask Gretchen or Christina for help.”
“Who, then?” Clara asks, “Who is going to help our daughter?” Before Rainer can answer, she adds, “Surely the books say something about this kind of thing? It’s all connected, isn’t it? This maybe-Schwarzkunstler, the dead woman, Lottie’s sickness, they’re like links in the same chain. Understand the one and you will understand the others.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” Clara says.
“Because it isn’t like links on a chain,” Rainer says. “The relations among these things are more subtle, more complex. It’s like the relations of the sun and the planets, the planets and their moons — it’s like the relations of those moons to the sun.”
“You’re saying it’s beyond you,” Clara says.
Rainer stiffens. “I didn’t say that. I’m among the few men alive who understands even a fraction of it.”
“But not enough,” Clara snaps. “Not enough to put that woman back where she belongs, and not enough to help your daughter.”
“It’s complex,” Rainer says. “Half of what the books tell makes no sense, and the other half is close to madness.”
“Mad as a woman who should be dead poisoning your child?”
“Worse,” Rainer says, “far worse.”
“I don’t care,” Clara says. “If the books can help Lottie, you will find out how and do what has to be done. No excuses. I don’t want you wasting time worrying if this word means ‘a’ or ‘one.’ You should have done this by now, and then none of this would have happened. No more waiting. You act now.”
Although ten years will elapse before Clara relates this conversation to Lottie, she’ll still remember the fury she sees raging in her husband’s eyes. There isn’t much Rainer is proud about any more. In coming to America, he’s had to eat a tableful of humble pie, and he’s learned it goes down best with a smile. He’s accepted his sister-in-law’s snide reproofs in her bakery. He’s accepted his co-workers criticisms of his masonry. He’s even accepted his children’s corrections of his English. Throughout it all, he’s treasured his scholarship as the one place no one dares intrude, the kingdom in which he still reigns. Prior to the start of this mad affair, he managed to steal a few minutes every night with one book or another. Clara pretended not to see his lips moving soundlessly, his finger leaping from word to word, as he delivered an imaginary lecture. Though he’s never voiced any such hope to her, Clara knows that he secretly dreams of finding a position at an American university, re-establishing the career he was forced to abandon. For her to attack him here, the last bastion of his pride and self-respect, is the kind of betrayal of which only someone you love is capable. It’s thin ice to be skating onto, and Clara is aware of her danger. As Rainer struggles to find a reply, she says, “I have sent Gretchen and Christina to stay with the Oliveris. I’m going over to help them. That poor woman already has all she can do with her own children and those others. Help your daughter,” she says, and leaves.