For some reason knowing all this didn't depress me. Something in me accepted this role, even welcomed it. It was like I was living one of my sexual fantasies…
Frank acted nervous – he seemed to be in a big hurry. We didn't talk as he dropped his pants and climbed on me. I was almost numb down there, yet I still longed for the release that evaded me. Frank came almost immediately, and then there was another boy on top of me…
"I don't know if it was the booze, the sex, or just exhaustion, but things got very vague about then, and I was slipping into a dull, dreamless sleep. My last thought was regret that I hadn't come… and I couldn't help wondering what was wrong… what had been missing…"
Were one to construct a "sadomasochism severity gradient", ranging from -5 (extreme masochism) through 0 (normal) to +5 (extreme sadism), one would be hard pressed to identify the subject of the case on hand, Fran A., as a 1. Even when one becomes acquainted with the balance of her narrative, in which she relates her submission to Frank H.'s uncle, at whose home the "party" took place, the question of whether there is, in fact, a masochistic inclination in the subject or whether her submissiveness to sexual advances is nothing more than a natural, though perhaps somewhat over exuberant, desire to partake of the mysteries of sexual congress and to attain sexual gratification, is a question that needs be answered before the girl is diagnosed as a masochist.
Johann Gottfried von Herder, noted German philosopher and writer of the latter half of eighteenth century, strongly believed that among the basic needs of men, as elemental as that for food or procreation or communication, is the need to belong to a group. That Fran was consumed by such a need, suppressed though it appears to have been, is apparent from the tense expectancy with which she was seized and from the total willingness with which she submitted to Hank, John, Frank, and finally, as it shall be seen in the second half of her narrative, to Frank's uncle. Since Fran had been relatively inexperienced in sex – her three-time session with Larry, which had left her "disappointed", can hardly be construed as sexual proficiency – and admitted to not having ever attained orgasm, it is not surprising that, once she was caught up in the relatively flagrant sexual excesses of the "party", she surrendered to the sexual urge and the desires of the body that are exceptionally strong at that particular age of adolescence. It must be remembered that at no time did she appear to enjoy any pain that was meted out to her; she did not crave punishment; she did not wish to be abused. She simply wanted to experience gratifying sexual congress.
Two elements that emerge during her narrative that, phychologically speaking, appear to be of more interest than her "masochistic tendencies" are her remark about "loving sexy fantasies" and her apparent difficulty in attaining orgasm. Havelock Ellis, in his previously mentioned work, analyzing a case of true masochism, makes a statement that might explain Fran's relative sexual introversion prior to her experiences at the "party". Ellis states:
Day-dreaming [fantasy] has… throughout, been an important sedative influence in [the subject's] life (even allaying, she states, any tendency to worry or perturbation) and she is assured that, notwithstanding all that it has led up to, it has yet greatly contributed to the physical and mental well-being… She now plainly discerns that, unknown to herself, there was a purpose, that day-dreaming has a sex origin and is an automatic psychic attempt at sexual relief…
Fran's "sexy fantasies" were obviously a safety valve through which, subconsciously, she at, tempted to attain sexual relief. Whether her introversion – as manifested through her romanticistic nature, her shyness, and even her mild paranoia – was the result of her sex fantasies or whether her daydreams were the offshoot of her introversion is difficult to say. Her narrative would suggest the latter to be the case. At no time in her narrative does Fran mention any autoerotic experimentation or indulgement. This suggests both the reason why her introversion must have preceded her sex fantasies and why she had such difficulty attaining orgasm.
There is strong indication that Fran's problem was a combination of psychology and physiology. Psychologically, having engaged in intercourse with the boy, Larry, and having obtained no gratification from it, she not only felt "cheated", as she states, but concerned about her "inability" to enjoy sexual intercourse. It is possible that this "failure" made her consider herself as somewhat less of a woman and had actually inhibited her from attaining orgasm subsequently until a barrage of sexual activity heaped upon her, and culminating in the sexual taking of her by an adult man, tore through the barrier of her psychological inhibitions.
The possible, though under the circumstances not probable, psysiological answer to her inability to attain orgasm would be what is generally known as the presence of a "hooded" clitoris, a condition in which the clitoris is covered by an overhanging extension of the labia minora and which precludes it from receiving any direct stimulation that it is normally subjected to during sexual intercourse. The validity of such a problem in the case of Fran – although it cannot be ruled out – seems to be questionable, because such a condition cannot be remedied except through surgery, and although it is possible for a female with such an affliction to attain orgasm under certain highly stimulating circumstances, it is relatively rare that a series of copulatory acts will result in a sequence of orgasms, as was the case with Fran when she copulated with Frank's uncle, when none were attainable before. Consequently, as suggested above, Fran most probably did not suffer from such a physiological drawback.
Returning to the question of masochism, it must again be stated that the subject's willingness to engage in various forms of sexual activity with the older man – as narrated by her in the balance of her case – cannot in all honesty be construed as a manifestation of masochism. It was simply a manifestation of a normal desire to partake of something that had been late in coming for Fran; namely, sexual experimentation, sexual participation, and sexual gratification.
If one considers the subject's admission that she had "wanted to go to bed with someone since [she] was twelve or thirteen," and the fact that it was not until several years later that she had succeeded to "maneuver" the somewhat inept boy, Larry, into bed with her; if one considers the fact that her year-long dating period with the same boy ended in frustration for her, then the vigor and willingness with which she accepted the sudden string of males that "desired" her – for whatever ends – should be interpreted as nothing other than the exuberant awakening of the subject's long-dormant sexuality.
It is, indeed, fortunate that Fran did not become sexually "turned off" by the relatively brutish way in which the three boys, and later the grown man, performed sexual intercourse with her. Had she not accepted it for what it was, and had she not strived as she did to attain a climax, it is possible that Fran would have become even more introverted and would have withdrawn from any further attempts at enjoying her sexuality.
I awakened late the next afternoon. I blinked rapidly, knew I'd been asleep a long time, and sensed rather than saw the older man standing next to the bed. I sat up slowly.
"It's about time!"
I looked at the man and tried to come up with who he was. I knew I'd seen him before somewhere. Then I became aware of the fact that I was naked on the bed.
"I suppose you are one of my idiot nephew's friends. Quite a little party you had here." His steely eyes traveled over my body.
In spite of his anger I knew the man was aroused by my nakedness. He was old enough to be my father – but I felt myself growing excited as he continued looking at me. "You… you're Mr. H.," I said finally. It was then I remembered that the owner of the old house was in Europe, and Frank, his nephew, had arranged the party early so they could use the house. But his uncle had obviously returned early.