Meanwhile, Therese was touched by the marked pulsations of my Phallus, and as though to calm them her hand, with instinctive, tender movements, became caressing: still unskilfully, yet infinitely delicate.
Then she resumed her course, curious to know me better. Momentarily she strayed amidst the curly swell which surrounded my sex and advanced between my legs; but there — on coming, unexpectedly, in contact with the proofs of my virility-she stopped immediately.
Therese questioned me in a low voice. She "caught on" at once as to the delicate physiology of these organs, — and was astonished at their fragility, which contrasted so strangely with the proud rigidity of the penis. And then her fingers, ever so lightly, began to envelop my testicles with a long caress, as though she wished to be pardoned for a piece of awkwardness, due to her ignorance.
Again her hand began to wander about, less timid than before, — nay, impatient to traverse in all directions the living kingdom she had just conquered. Already she knew where to find, once more, such or such a fleshly nook whose softness she had liked; already she recalled the itineraries marked out by the more striking reactions of my voluptuousness. But her backward and forward movements, at one and the same time quicker and more delicate were too often impeded by the garment which still covered me, so I threw it off and at last gave myself up to the sensual delight of being entirely nude in the presence of the woman I loved.
Accustomed to the semi-darkness, her eyes now divined every detail of my body and followed the convulsive movements of my penis, which was athirst for tenderness. Having ceased her caresses, she now looked at me most eagerly and I could hear her murmur, repeatedly: "My beautiful body! My beautiful, beloved body!" Then she rose, in her turn cast aside her garment, and came to crouch at my feet, — amorously hiding her nudity between my parted legs. Her gaze was centred on my Phallus, quite close to her; she wreathed it with her smiles, enveloped it with these tender words: "You fill me, still, with a little fear, yet I shall adore you 1" At last her lips advanced towards me and, in the expectation of a caress which I had not the strength to refuse, my desire made me wince. But at the supreme moment her timid hand thrust aside my penis and she buried her face in the bushy hollow of my groin. She was still a timorous neophyte in the presence of the idol which she did not dare to touch ever so lightly with her lips, but of which, some day, she would be the ardent priestess.
A gust of wind, portending a storm, banged to the window and made Therese shiver.
"Get up, darling," I said. "You'll catch cold. Besides, it will soon be dawn, and you must really rest."
A pale light was appearing on the horizon: dawn which, since the War, I have never been able to behold without sadness, at the recollection of the anxiety we experienced on the occasion of day-break attacks.
Suddenly filled with something approaching shame at our nudity, we hurried towards the bed and, shiveringly, pressed one against the other.
Therese curled herself up with her back to me. With breast, belly and thighs I enveloped her closely, — moulded my body to hers. My still unappeased sex found a refuge-a warm and dangerous refugebetween her legs. Again Therese became aware of its throbbing, whereupon her hand placed it in the most secret hollow of her flesh with a movement which, at first, she wished to be expressive of pity and appeasement. But she was surprised by such softness in that contact between my flesh and hers. So she increased her pressure, — repeated and increased it, without knowing that she exasperated my lust to the verge of paroxysm…
I closed her hand again upon me-that hand which she now refused to open, — the jealous guardian of the warm and abundant offering which my love poured forth before her.
CHAPTER XII
Still torpid through my heavy slumbers, I had great difficulty in waking up. Yet it must have been already late, judging by the indiscreet insistence of the light on my eye-brows. With closed eyes, I let myself be lulled by the monotonous sound of a shower, pattering on the foliage of the chestnut-trees. My thoughts were still scattered,ravelled out, — similar to the light clouds stretched out, far far above in the morning sky; and my vision of Therese was still reduced to the vague recollection of a happy event, with which Fate had recently gratified me.
Then followed a sensation of chilliness. The coverlet must have slipped off the bed. Mechanically I sought to draw it over me, but a hand stopped me and woke me up completely. Enveloped in her dressinggown, Therese was stretched flat on her stomach across the bed, with her face on a level with my haunches, and her eyes fixed on my body.
Doubtless she had intentionally denuded me, for the sheet was only partially raised and uncovered me with a most precise indecency.
Therese appeared to disapprove of my awakening; she looked upon it as premature, and when I became obstinate she said:
"Come now, darling. Pretend to be still asleep, just to please me."
I wanted to be obedient to her; I wanted to defer the awakening of my desire, without fear of confessing to a loving woman the frail humility of my dormant Phallus. But the immaterial touch of her look already disturbed me, — that look which travelled over my flesh and lovingly took in all its details. Intractable to my will, my sex began to elongate under the tenderly amused eyes centred upon it, — and its throbbing, at first hesitative, soon quickened. Then, suddenly, — and at the same moment Therese was provoked to laughter, — it stood erect. Somewhat timorously she started back, letting her head fall on my bosom. I could see nothing more than her half-undone hair; but I could divine that her eyes were still fixed on my penis. And soon she returned to it. Her cheek, gliding along my body, already grazed my stomach with a prolonged caress. And suddenly, through the indescribably sweet contact of that warm caress enveloping the extreme nudity of my flesh, I was thrilled.
It was an intense yet only too brief sensation of voluptuousness, an involuntary movement having detached me from it. Yet I did not dare to provoke its renewal. So, seeking a diversion, I raised Therese's dressing-gown, uncovering the slender curve of her legs and the adorable profile of her buttocks. There was not the suspicion of a refusal on her part; nor did she react when my hand strayed between her legs and reached her most secret spot. But, as though in response to my provocation, the already experienced warm caress once more enveloped my own flesh.
Meanwhile, under the hypertension of my sex, I became aware of the imperious appeal of an approaching spasm. Suddenly becoming more lucid, I sensed the danger of an unpardonable profanation: one that nothing could have excused. So, with a sudden movement, I detached myself from my wife's excessively voluptuous tenderness, to throw myself upon her, with my face buried in the shady crossroads where her garden bloomed.
Did she realize the cause of my anguish? What matter! In a few days all thoughts passing between us would be clarified. However, I did not wish to let her fear that she herself had caused me pain. And in order to calm her possible disquietude I amused myself, with the tip of my tongue, in exploring all the nooks and corners of her flesh. This game, against which she defended herself by pressing her legs together, distracted us from the paroxysm of our desire; and soon Therese began to laugh, tickled by my incursions and amused by the resistance she succeeded in opposing to them. I feigned fatigue; whereupon her muscles relaxed; and before she had time to collect her wits, I separated with both hands the double rotundity of her buttocks and clove them with a mighty and indiscreet lick… Quickly turning away-and all the same somewhat annoyed-she drove me off; but she soon returned, laughingly, and raised a threatening finger, with the words: