“Fortunately, Mr. Orcutt, Doctor Colfax and I over the years have reached what at one time was popularly described as a Mexican standoff. We could easily ruin each other. Realizing this, we have joined forces, although you may have noticed that a current of animosity runs between us. To be quite frank, we despise each other.”
“I think it’s perfectly charming,” Orcutt said and smiled his fake smile to try to show that he really did.
“Yes,” Phetwick said slowly and with a trace of doubt, “charming. Let us now return to the druggist Mouton who, sad to say, is also a Clean Government Association candidate for a vacancy on the city council. He can be easily pilloried, true. But if he were to be elected, he would be a most amenable councilman. We sacrifice this virtual certainty so that Mr. Dye can gain the confidence of the Lynch person in the fond but uncertain hope that he will discover information that will be useful to us and conversely damaging to Lynch and his supporters. That is correct, is it not?” He peered at Orcutt through his thick glasses.
“Perfectly,” Orcutt said.
“Christ,” Doctor Colfax said, “how many times do we have to rake this shit up?”
“As many as necessary, Warner,” Phetwick said.
“How ‘bout it, Dye?” the doctor said. “You think you can get something on Lynch’s people? And don’t fall for that crap about him being an ex-con. Everybody knows that and they all feel soft and gooey inside because they’re giving him a second chance.”
“There’ll be something,” I said. “I can’t guarantee quid pro quo. Nobody can. But there’ll be something.”
“Something that will turn the stomachs of our voters, I hope,” Phetwick said. “Perhaps you have already discovered this, Mr. Dye, but the citizens of Swankerton all seem to have stomachs that are made of cast iron. Nothing really bothers them very much.”
“I’ve noticed,” I said.
“I say turn the goods on Mouton over to Dye and let him get on with his job,” Doctor Colfax said. “That’s what we’re paying him for.”
“Mr. Phetwick?” Orcutt said.
Phetwick sighed. “I never really cared for Mouton, even though he is a deacon in my church. It is the First Methodist, you know. Will it put him behind bars?”
“Probably not,” Orcutt said. “The statute of limitations has run out.”
“That’s the state statute,” Doctor Colfax said. “What about Federal? What about the income-tax boys?”
“That will be up to them, of course,” Orcutt said. “It may be that Mouton paid his proper income tax.”
“In a pig’s ass,” the doctor growled.
“It is really not our concern,” Phetwick said and sighed again, so deeply that it made him shudder. “Our concern is to destroy the man and by doing so cast even more of a shadow on the efficacy of the Clean Government Association. It does seem to be a dear price to pay, but if it will help return a semblance of orderliness to Swankerton, then I can only agree.”
“I have an idea,” I said, “which may be an answer to your objections, Mr. Phetwick.”
“Then say it, young man, say it.”
“I go ahead and turn the information on Mouton over to Lynch. But he doesn’t use it to destroy Mouton publicly. Instead, he uses it to blackmail Mouton into informing on the Clean Government Association. Since we have equal leverage, we can force Mouton to channel misleading information to Lynch. We’ll supply him with it, of course.”
Doctor Colfax slammed a big white fist on his knee. “Now, by God, I like that! That’s real shitty!”
Phetwick nodded slowly and carefully. “It does have merit, I agree. However, do you think that Lynch will be able to withstand the temptation? By that I mean if one has the power to destroy another and by doing so achieve measurable gain for oneself, the temptation to destroy is quite often difficult to resist and becomes, in many instances, overriding.”
“You should know, Channing,” Doctor Colfax said.
“I do know, Warner,” Phetwick said. “That is why I mentioned it.”
“I might have an answer to that, too,” I said. “I’ll suggest to Lynch that the information he has on Mouton can be useful in two ways. First, it’ll get him inside dope on the Clean Government Association, and if it comes from Mouton, he’ll trust it more than if it came from me. But second, I’ll suggest that he use the information to force Mouton into making a last minute refutation of the Clean Government Association. You can then counter that, Mr. Phetwick, with a front-page exposé of Mouton’s illegal drug sales.”
“By God, Dye, I don’t know what the Christ you’ve been doing up till now, but you sure as hell earned your money today!” It was the good, gruff, gray doctor complimenting me and I started to ask him if he had something for nausea.
“Devilish, Mr. Dye,” Phetwick said. “Sound thinking, too. Should have thought of it myself. We first use Mouton to mislead Lynch. When Mouton makes his eleventh-hour attack on the Clean Government Association and embraces the Lynch slate, we expose him as a grubby drug peddler. We thus destroy the validity of his attack on us and at the same time expose Lynch and his people as being foolishly gullible at best, or in cahoots with Mouton at worst. Yes. I like it, probably, I must confess, because of its utter ruthlessness. Are you an utterly ruthless man, Mr. Dye?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
Phetwick rose from his chair. He did it slowly, helping himself up with the aid of a silver-handled cane. “Come, Warner, you can give me a lift back to my office in that Rolls of yours. We have done enough mischief for today.”
Doctor Colfax strode over to me and stuck out his hand. I shook it. There was nothing else to do. Nothing I could think of anyway. “Like your thinking, Dye, by God, I do. You’ve got the touch.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Drop round my office sometime when you’re out our way. We’ll have a drink.”
“Fine,” I said.
“Goodbye, Mr. Dye,” Phetwick said. “It was reassuring to have met you — probably because I believed that most of my kindred souls were long since dead. Take that as a compliment. It was meant as such.”
“I will,” I said and wished that I were lying on a deserted beach somewhere with nothing to do but count the waves.
When they were gone Orcutt spun around and pointed a finger at me. “You were just terribly good!” he said. “So devious! Now tell me everything that Lynch had to say today.”
I told him everything and when I was done he nodded in a satisfied way and said, “What did you think of our two patrons?”
“I think I like Lynch better.”
He nodded understandingly. “That old man is simply fantastic, isn’t he? One can literally smell the evil coming out of him.”
“That doctor friend of his has a nice bedside manner, too.”
“Oh, he’s terrible!” Orcutt said. “A real villain. But they both liked you very much.”
“That’s what bothers me.”
Orcutt waved his hand gracefully. “Think of them as chess pieces. I do.”
“I’ll try,” I said.
“Now. Call Necessary’s room and tell him to bring the man down.”
“What man?”
“He’s a photographer. A motion picture cameraman really. Homer has cooked up something that should prove most exciting.”
“What?”
“We’re going to expose the Swankerton police. And you must inform Lynch, of course.”
“Of course.”
“Call Necessary and tell him to bring Carol along too. She often has some excellent suggestions.”
“It’s a fur job,” Necessary said.