“You cool?” he asked me. “You my boy?”
“Sure.” I wondered if he thought I was a cop, and if so, why he didn’t ask that.
“You wanna get high?”
“I’ve got money.”
He winced, leaned in closer. “Dang, man, shut up. You don’t need money you want OJJJ get you high. Just ax.”
“Okay.”
“Aight.” We clasped hands again. OJJJ fought the urge to glance over his shoulder at the window every few seconds, lost, won, lost again. Meanwhile, I caught the bartender checking us out, squinting his distrust. My imagination wrote a voice-over: What’s OJJJ doing with that white boy? I was certain anyone here was a regular. And that anyone would audition me for cop. In fact, according to what I soon read in the Oakland Tribune, the bartender had never seen OJJJ before in his life and never wondered for a moment if I was a cop. That wasn’t how I struck anyone, apparently.
OJJJ led me into the bathroom, past the pool table, the shooters who still didn’t think us worth a look. The place was utilitarian, with a steel trough urinal, and a floor pitched around a central drain, for easy sluicing. Graffiti hadn’t completely blackened the lime walls. The stall doors had been taken off, but we hid in a stall, each with our back to the divider. It stank of ammonia there, nothing worse. Then OJJJ opened his coat to pull out a glass pipe and I did smell something worse: the acridity of his sweat, infusing the layers of his fancy sweater. I wondered how many days it had been since OJJJ had bathed, or even gone home, wherever home was. Later I’d know it was the chemistry of his fear.
Now his acridity mingled with the tang of crack, seared in a glass pipe lined with a tiny copper screen. I watched OJJJ and tried to do as he did. I’d never smoked cocaine, only seen it done by Barrett Junior. I think OJJJ knew he was teaching me, and was glad to be. I think it gave him courage. He showed me what was a rock and what was a pebble and a twig. He and I smoked a few of these and once or twice I felt I grasped it, felt the cold rush threading me. But the nature of the high was elusive, impossible to savor, only chase. Then OJJJ took the pipe and showed me the big rock he’d been saving. I watched him smoke it and then he asked to see my money. I offered him forty dollars and he told me to hold it, that we’d need it where we were going, if I wanted to come. I saw he wanted me to. I wondered when I was going to become invisible.
There were women at the bar when we came out, made up for the night, and as we passed one of them said to OJJJ, “Hey, where you goin’, pretty man?”
“Aw, shut up, bitch.”
The bartender shook his walrus head, but we were gone, we didn’t care what he thought. OJJJ led me around the corner, down the dark residential block. The poorest parts of Oakland looked the same to me as the rich parts, like suburbs, lawns and driveways, nobody on the sidewalks. Only the cars told the tale of what was inside. The cars on Sixtieth Street were twenty years old, Cadillacs with rotted vinyl roofs, Olds and Chryslers calicoed with rust and mismatched fenders.
OJJJ had been charging ahead, egging me to follow. He seemed to want to keep some momentum, sparked by his hit off the big rock. Midway down the block, he halted. Hand in pocket, I tickled the ring. OJJJ nodded at a free-standing garage, with pink siding to twin it with the home on the left. Yellow light and bass beats leaked from beneath the wide door.
“Ready?”
“Sure, yeah.”
Up the drive we found our way to a side door. OJJJ rapped and the door opened on a chain. A face looked us over.
“Yo, it’s me.”
“Who that? OJJJ?” The voice came from somewhere behind the silent face, which only peered at us.
“Shut up-let me in.”
“What’s up with your boy?” said the peering face at the chain.
OJJJ nodded at me. “He cool.”
“Don’t keep my man OJJJ standing,” said the hidden voice. The door shut again long enough to free the chain, and then we pushed inside. A yellow party bulb cast its glow over a loose ring of men on folding chairs, around the grinning coils of a space heater. The four of them were more than OJJJ had expected-one more in particular. OJJJ turned back for the door the instant he saw the man he hadn’t wanted to see, but it was too late, we were in, and the door was blocked.
The man stood and smiled at OJJJ and held out his hand. OJJJ ignored it, didn’t face him directly, but turned to another in the circle and made a wheedling appeal. “Damn, you let Horton come here just to set me up? That ain’t right.”
“Horton said how you took him off, OJJJ.” The same voice had invited us in. “That ain’t seem exactually right to us.”
“Shut up, man. Fuck you even listen a ill thug like Horton?”
Horton let his hand fall. “I ain’t no thug like you, boy.”
“You come round here to take us off, OJJJ? Who your ghost-face friend?”
With that OJJJ had reached the limits of language-that was what his grimace seemed to say as he tugged the pistol from the interior pocket of the coat, from which the glass pipe had come and returned. It was a snub revolver, as dated as the cars on the street. OJJJ might have bought it at the same thrift shop where he’d bought the suede-front, if thrift shops sold pistols. He fired it, or anyway it fired, on its way out of the coat, shattering plasterboard panels on the ceiling. Dust rained, chairs clattered, the report seemed to ruin my eardrums, only they lived to pulse in pain with the music. Between the first shot and the next every man had time to shout fuck, but after the second anything was drowned by Horton’s bellowing. Blood seeped through Horton’s interlaced fingers as they gripped his knee, and as in a child’s game he moaned “You got me, you got me, you got me!”
I put on the ring and became invisible. No one noticed. OJJJ stood inert, enthralled by the work he’d done on Horton’s knee, but the gun went on moving, jerking back and forth, shaking in tensed fingers, not firing for now. Someone chanted shit, shit, shit. I moved to OJJJ and in the great act of physical courage to that point in my life kneed him in the balls and twisted the gun from his hand-he doubled and vomited so quickly it was as though I’d relieved him of the task of withholding the bile, as though vomiting had been his purpose here from the start.
The pistol was gulped into my invisibility for an instant, but it seared my hand, heated from the combustion of firing-it was a primitive thing, barely more than a nugget of steel and dynamite made for flaring fire in a certain direction, for giving out its jolt, and it had done its work and was a coal. It burned me and I dropped it. Only it wasn’t done. It fired once more as it cracked to the floor, then spun there to a stop in OJJJ’s splash of thin green puke. The third bullet found OJJJ’s neck. He gulped and flopped backward and grasped his neck as Horton had his knee, and as he gulped his body flopped and spasmed, and his mouth shaped words which likely didn’t exist. Or if they did he couldn’t say them. That bullet shut him up.
Me, I ran, I booked. I was ten or twelve blocks down Shattuck, past whining sirens, when I smashed face-first into the shoulder of a tall black woman who’d lurched into my path and realized that the series of magnificent collisions I’d barely avoided were the fault of my invisibility. She was twisted around by the impact, and I staggered and nearly fell. As I recovered I wriggled the ring into my palm. When the woman spotted me she swung out in instinctive anger the blow and boxed me in the eye with a heavy jeweled ring, which served nicely as brass knuckles. “Watch where you’re going, child!” I couldn’t blame her and couldn’t explain, only rasp bewilderment. I put my hand to my eye and ran again, Doily’s ring in my pocket now. The sparrow on the hilltop had borne a message for me, if only I’d listened: nature, or at least birds and women, abhorred the invisible man.