“Ryan, this is Sarah. I would appreciate a return call. I was contacted by Detective Westbrook this morning. We need to talk,” she said curtly, ending the call.
She walked into her office to make a few notes, hoping he would promptly call back. Trying to organize her thoughts, she began to list the questions she wanted answered. She made a note to call Kerwin for advice on how they should prepare for the crew’s inevitable legal citations. Kerwin was an excellent corporate attorney, but she was certain this debacle would try the limits of his expertise.
Sarah sat at her desk, nervously twirling a pencil, trying to think of anything she could do to ameliorate the matter at hand. While she still cared for Ryan, his aberrant behavior had put an impenetrable wall between them. Even though they still had Jeremiah and LSI in common, Ryan’s obsession with his cousin made any intimacy impossible. Her overriding feelings were a mixture of anger and humiliation; she despised having to address legal questions about her exhusband’s behavior. Shame on him, she thought.
Sarah tried to control her vengeful thoughts, but she couldn’t keep from remembering the hurt and humiliation she had suffered from Ryan’s affair. Granted, Ryan had probably been drugged, but he should never have allowed himself to be put in that dubious situation in the first place. And there would never be an acceptable explanation for why Jarrod would create such havoc in their lives. Recalling the shock she’d experienced from first viewing those horribly graphic pictures still made her feel nauseous. Sarah restrained herself from hurling a paperweight through the office window. I’ll never forgive either one of them.
Thankfully, the phone interrupted her recollection. “This better be you, Ryan,” she said, answering the phone.
“Well, your intuition is correct, Sarah,” Ryan replied, sensing there was going to be an argument. “I’m really sorry to bother you.”
“Oh, really, Ryan? Don’t you dare patronize me, you son-of-a-bitch,” Sarah replied, uncharacteristically cursing even while trying to control her temper.
“Where are you?” she demanded. “Do you realize the trouble you’ve caused? How can you be so selfish?”
“You have every right to be angry,” Ryan started. “I can’t tell you where I am, but if you’ll give me a few minutes to explain…I think you’ll understand.”
“I’m listening, but make it quick. Detective Westbrook is on his way over.”
“That’s exactly why I called, Sarah. Corky tells me he explained what happened up at the gorge. Listen…we both know that Jarrod’s capable of anything. I can’t let them arrest me for something I didn’t do…something else Jarrod has obviously set up. You of all people should understand to what length he’ll go to hurt me. This is another one of his elaborate schemes, Sarah. He’s taken away my family and now he wants to strip me of my freedom. I will not be drawn into his web.”
“Jarrod is right Ryan…you are a moron,” she bellowed, knowing that her words would land a terrible blow. “Don’t you see he is drawing you into his web? You’re such a fool. How could you fall for another one of his fiendish tricks?”
“Sarah! Listen to me,” Ryan shot back. “I don’t expect you to understand why I have to find Jarrod…it’s between him and me. But please don’t underestimate him for a second. He vandalized our crane, Sarah. I know it as surely as I believe in God. It could have killed a bunch of our guys. And as if that weren’t enough, he’s accused me of breaking into his lab. Please! This has all the earmarks of his handiwork. Come on…you know it’s the truth.”
There was a pause. Sarah listened for a moment until she was sure he was through. “Honestly, Ryan, I don’t think the two events have anything to do with one another. You have such irrational hatred for Jarrod that you see boogiemen behind every shadow and imagine he has something to do with it. You need help. Please…turn yourself in before someone gets hurt. Think about what you’re doing. Jail lies at the end of this path,” she pleaded.
“Sarah, I have no intention of turning myself in. I don’t trust Jarrod, but I do respect his intelligence. He’s planted evidence proving that I was in his office. If they catch me before I can prove my innocence, I’m history. My only chance is to get to him before the police catch me. He’s never been able to hide what he’s up to from me. It’s part of the sick pleasure he gets from hurting me…he’ll give it up, I promise you.”
“So, what if he doesn’t?” Sarah asked, bewildered. “Are you going to beat him up, too, just like the old days?”
“That’s unfair, Sarah. I was hoping we could be civil,” Ryan replied, hurt that she still thought so little of his character. “I haven’t figured out what to do, but I promise I won’t get physical. Give me a little credit, will you?”
She didn’t answer.
“Whatever happens when I catch up with Jarrod, I need you to consider what you tell Westbrook,” he continued. “Please, try to understand my point of view, Sarah. I’m not asking you to lie; just don’t give him any more than necessary. Can you do that for me?”
Sarah drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Ryan, I’m so tired of the endless drama between you and Jarrod. I don’t have the energy for this any longer. Just tell me what you want me to do,” she said wearily.
“Tell the detective exactly what Corky told you…nothing more. Don’t embellish anything. If he asks why I would resist arrest and where I might be headed, simply tell him we’ve been divorced for five years and you no longer understand my thinking. But whatever you tell him, please don’t let on we spoke, okay?”
“Oh, right…don’t lie, just fudge the truth. How should I answer when he asks whether I’ve had any contact with you? How should I answer when he asks if I can think of any reason why you might run? What you’re asking is not to reveal your hatred of Jarrod…isn’t that the real truth, Ryan?”
“Sarah, you’re right…as usual. You’ve always known me better than I know myself; most times you knew what I was planning before I did. That’s a touchstone in our relationship that will never change,” he said affectionately.
Ryan knew it was unfair to expect Sarah to do anything but tell the truth; it was not in her nature to do otherwise. He never felt so totally alone in all his life.
“Hellfire,” he said. “Tell the detective everything: that Jarrod and I have a rocky history; that he was the cause of our divorce; that you spoke to me this morning; that you believe I’m on my way to California to confront him. Tell him the whole truth, Sarah. Then please…pray that I somehow survive this. I love you, Sarah. Thanks for helping me think this through. Goodbye,” he said, abruptly ending the call.
“Ryan…Ryan, wait…don’t go,” Sarah hastily pleaded. “Ryan,” she repeated, realizing that he had already gone.
Sarah was astonished. She stood in the center of the office, frozen, holding the phone. It seemed like reality was momentarily suspended. She could feel Ryan’s conflict and understood the raging internal battle he waged. She felt a glimmer of hope that maybe for the first time Ryan was beginning to realize how his resentments had handicapped his emotional health. Her heart ached for him, aware of the struggles she knew he endured, and realizing that forgiveness could free his tormented mind.
She prayed for his safety, and that his meeting with Jarrod would end their longstanding, bitter rivalry. God, please keep Ryan safe. Give him wisdom; guide his path. Protect both Ryan and Jarrod as they come face-to-face. Fill them with forgiveness.
As Sarah prayed, she was struck by a thunderbolt of insight. How could she have failed to recognize her own inability to forgive? She expected Ryan to absolve years of antipathy toward Jarrod, and yet she remained steadfast in her refusal to forgive his infidelity. Why had she been unable to recognize this before now? She stopped to embrace this feeling, bowing her head in shame, asking God to forgive her own weakness. Please, God, help each of us survive this new trial and grow in Your wisdom and will for our lives.