Jacob replied, “Dad, you’re squeezing me too hard. How come you left me so long? Me and Minnie are pooped.”
It was the happiest moment of Ryan’s life. He forever believed that God answered his solitary prayer, allowing him more time with Jacob. There was no other way to explain how he magically appeared at the top of Pecos Mountain. He would never believe this was anything other than a miracle.
Ryan and Roman made a triumphant return to camp with Jacob. As he drove the last quarter-mile, he began blasting the horn to attract everyone’s attention. He came fishtailing to a stop in a cloud of dust, stepping from the truck with Jacob held high over his head for all to see. There arose a great shout from the nearly 100 searchers and campers that had joined in the search, each setting eyes on Jacob for the first time. Sarah broke down, sobbing as Ryan returned him to her waiting arms.
These were the bittersweet memories that fueled Ryan’s sorrow for losing Sarah’s love and loyalty. But this particular memory reminded him of the intercessory power and benevolence of God. He would always believe that God answered his prayers, granting him another ten years before finally taking Jake to heaven. In those ten years, Jacob became Ryan’s mentor, which he realized only after he had passed away. Throughout Ryan’s formative years, he had prayed for patience, courage, and wisdom. God answered this prayer by putting Jacob into his life. Ryan came to realize that these human qualities were not merely granted but had to be earned. Little did he know that by asking for these attributes, he would be presented with situations that required him to develop the characteristics of courage, patience, and wisdom.
There was no more courageous person than Jacob. He was embarrassed by his appearance, especially when he entered high school. By then his body was completely emaciated, twisted by scoliosis, and he could barely lift his arms. Yet he summoned the courage to ask a girl out on a date, suffering the indignity of her rejection. With incredible courage, he attended every school assembly, sitting as close to his classmates as possible. One could only imagine the courage it took to let people attend to him in the bathroom, with all the humiliation this entailed. Courage was a strong suit for Jacob, one that Ryan tried to emulate throughout his life.
Similarly, patience was an attribute that Ryan learned from Jacob. He could sit for hours without moving while watching Ryan’s construction crew erect a building or move heavy equipment. He recalled one particularly vivid memory on the job when Jacob stuck his wheelchair in the sand. No one recognized that he was stuck for an extended period of time. But rather than continue spinning his wheels, digging deeper into the ground, Jake remained calm, waiting for help. He was so calm, in fact, that he folded his hands across his chest and proceeded to take a nap. This provided a powerful metaphor for Ryan; many times he felt stuck, hopelessly spinning his wheels, when the most prudent decision was to sit patiently until help arrived.
The power Ryan sought through his mantra-the qualities of patience, courage, and wisdom-still eluded him. But he knew that he was much wiser from the sixteen years of care he gave Jacob. His constant hope was that this patience and wisdom would ameliorate the estrangement that had developed between Jeremiah and himself.
Ryan believed that Jeremiah never recovered from the loss of his twin brother. He was a normal, healthy boy and clearly received different treatment than his handicapped brother, but somehow this differentiation affected Jeremiah’s outlook on life. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel worthy of happiness, but he definitely had a survivor’s complex, feeling guilty about being born healthy while his twin brother had been stricken with an incurable disease. As Jeremiah grew older, the trauma of losing his brother resulted in low self-esteem, making it difficult to bond with other people. He had few friends, except for his mother, and preferred to be a loner.
When Ryan and Sarah separated, Jer naturally sided with his mother. Ryan couldn’t fault him for this. Jer never understood the cause of the divorce, only that it somehow involved Jarrod. But Jer was just as unforgiving as Sarah. This drove a deep wedge between them that Ryan did not know how to remedy. Jer remained emotionally distant and took no pride in being Ryan’s son, which was a source of bitter disappointment.
Ryan refused to admit that his relationship with Jer was on the same dysfunctional path he had experienced with his own mother. He had failed to resolve his contempt for his mother prior to her death. He was ashamed of this, and vowed never to let this degree of divisiveness into his life again. And yet he found himself in exactly the same predicament with his only surviving son.
What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? How can I change? These were the thoughts that haunted Ryan as he drove to California to confront Jarrod.
TWENTY
San Jose, California
Dr. Aldin Mills felt nauseous, and a sense of deja vu weighed upon him like a mighty Himalayan avalanche. His body language projected utter defeat: His shoulders slumped and a foreboding look creased his face. It was the third time he had carefully analyzed the Quantum equations. There was no mistaking something was still missing, and he expected Dallas Weaver would be furious. He couldn’t believe he had made the same mistake a second time. The data looked complete. The inventor of the antigravity machine had also proven these newly acquired equations. So why doesn’t the machine work? he wondered.
A year had passed since he was first contacted by Weaver to put together some revolutionary new machine. He had been given an unlimited budget to produce the antigravity device, which stood before him in the Bayshore warehouse. He had accomplished a great deal in the past year, working full-time at Oracle and long nights on the machine. It hadn’t been easy, as many of the parts needed custom fabrication, but ultimately he had completed a fully operational working model from the plans Weaver provided.
Mills was fretful, remembering the last time he’d faced this identical impasse while working on the project. Weaver had provided him the complete engineering package-from the magnetized generator housing, to specs on the gravitron microwave dish, even the method to power the unit and how to estimate the artificially generated gravitational field. Everything appeared to be in order. He should have been able to build this new device from the schematics on hand. Mills had had no idea about the source of the information, but recollected his earliest premonition that something essential was missing. His only recourse at the time was to begin construction and proceed until he hit a technical obstacle. In the meantime, he had decided to confirm that the information to build the world’s first antigravity machine was valid. Remembering that fateful decision, Mills also recalled ignoring a gnawing suspicion that it could come back to haunt him. He replayed that fateful conversation in his head, aware that Weaver and Richard Kilmer were anxious to receive confirmation on the data.
“Aldin, what’s up, buddy?” Weaver had asked.
“Hey, Big D. Call Kilmer. Tell him we’re ready to build the machine. There are minor problems to resolve, but I’m certain everything will shake out when we start construction. It’s a remarkable breakthrough, man. You won’t believe the simplicity of this thing.”
“Great news,” Weaver had replied. “What do you need from us?”
“I’ve pulled together a parts list. We’ll need some heavy-duty computer power to pull this off, and a warehouse to machine a bunch of parts you don’t just pull off the shelf. It isn’t going to be cheap. And I don’t have a clue where you’ll get the nuclear material. That’s up to you guys,” Mills had instructed.
“Okay, I’ll have Kilmer contact Holloway. Plan to set up shop at the Bayshore warehouse. Kilmer’s anticipating that. We don’t want anyone to get wind of what we’re building.”