“Can I say one thing first?” Ryan asked meekly, standing, still trying to circulate the blood back in his legs and feet.
“No. You’ll listen to me now,” Jer responded firmly. He realized he sounded disrespectful, but didn’t care one whit about it. “Mom and I have been traveling for the past twelve hours and I’m in no mood for excuses. Since Mom gave me the news, I’ve given a lot of thought to what I’d say to you if given the chance. The opportunity to talk to you and Uncle Jarrod together is better than I’d dared hope. Now, if you’d please sit down and listen…”
Jer scrunched up his face, looking pensive as he searched to gather his thoughts. “My feelings have been building for a long time. For years I’ve felt like an outsider in our family. I’ve never been a priority in your life, Dad. First it was Jacob…I loved him, too, more than you realize. It hurt me deeply to lose him…still hurts. He was my twin brother. Nothing can replace that. But when he died, it seemed you forgot your other son… me, Dad… I’m your son, too. You slipped into another world, one of depression and grief, and wouldn’t let anyone console you or share the burden. I’m sorry you can’t love me as much as Jacob, but we can’t go on like this any longer,” he said, struggling to express the hurt feelings that were locked deep inside him.
“Second, your intense hatred for Uncle Jarrod has got to stop. Now! We’re family! It’s seems you’ve forgotten you’re even related. You waste too much time on bitterness, always on the lookout for ways to retaliate. Can’t you see what it’s doing to you? Don’t you wonder why your close friends have drifted away? The hatred-coupled with guilt and remorse-is killing you, Pop. You’re emotionally bankrupt and now it’s affecting your reason. Look at your situation-on the run to confront Uncle Jarrod for something you suspect he’s done. Don’t you see how crazy this is?” he asked, turning his hands up to show the absurdity of his father’s recent actions.
“Well, it’s not just my behav…” Ryan tried to interject.
“Please, don’t say a word. Let me finish,” Jer reprimanded, holding his hands out, looking perturbed. “I’m going to get everything out. It’s time for another man in this family to have some say.
“I can’t begin to describe how disappointed I am about you and mom,” Jer continued, “and, yes…I know Uncle Jarrod had some part in what went down in New York.” He paused, pointedly scowling at Jarrod. “But it doesn’t excuse your behavior. You were vulnerable to being conned precisely because you had walled off your feelings. You won’t share the pain of losing Jacob with anyone, including mom. Nobody can forgive your mistake precisely because you can’t forgive yourself, Pop. To compensate, you’ve thrown yourself into work, keeping numb and detached, rather than making amends. Have you ever wondered if there’s a way to overcome our differences? It’s not too late. I’m willing to move forward…but you have to meet me halfway,” he said, staring at Ryan with such intensity that there was no mistaking his resolve.
“And, lastly, Uncle Jarrod, you owe everyone in this room an apology… especially my mother. I’m not sure what you did except I know it’s disgraceful. You even had the gall to send her pictures! I’m ashamed we’re related. If I could disown you, I would,” he said, slowly shaking his head in disgust.
“But this evening…tonight…is about forgiveness. This moment can be a new beginning for each of us. Uncle Jarrod needs forgiveness; Dad, you need forgiveness; and, yes, Mom and I should be forgiven for walling ourselves off to you both. The healing starts with you two. I can’t do any more than to extend a hand,” Jer said, reaching out toward both men with his hands, waiting for them to reciprocate. “It’s up to you to reach back. Please, let’s embrace our Italian heritage and put family first against our enemies. I’ll be the first to say I’m sorry…to each of you.”
The room fell silent. Jer felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Ryan immediately took his son’s open hand, while Jarrod reluctantly did likewise. Jer looked from his father to Uncle Jarrod and over to his mother. He released their grip, unsure of what to do or say next. He took a seat on the floor next to Sarah, placing his arm around her shoulders.
Sarah had tears running down her cheeks and she sniffled slightly to keep her nose from running. Ryan hung his head with shoulders slumped as he too fought back tears.
Jarrod merely stood stoically, in rapt attention, bemused by the wisdom that poured forth from Jer’s recount of their notorious family history. It was as if an oracle had descended into their midst and brought clarity to a problem that had eluded them all their lives. “Well, Jer, you’ve accurately presented our situation,” he ventured, breaking the interminable silence. “Everything you’ve said is true. Sarah, I’m sorry for the abomination in New York. I was so certain you played a role in Sela’s decision to break up with me that I set out to hurt you both. I never imagined it would cause your divorce. I regret my actions and would do anything to take it back. But that’s not possible. What would you have me do?”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Ryan ventured. He was still slumped in his chair but had raised his head to show a trace of tears running down his face. He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Ever since we were children, we’ve been forced to compete against each another because of our mothers’ own competition. They made us who we are. It’s no more your fault, Jarrod, than mine. We’re both at fault.
“But I agree with Jer…it’s time to stop this madness. Son, I am proud you’re my boy and so sorry I haven’t told you that often enough. I don’t know what happened to me after Jacob died. A part of me died with him I suppose, but that’s no excuse for not expressing the pride I have in you. You’re a remarkable person, and I promise to do my best from this day forward to share in your life, to help make your dreams come true. I do love you, son, no less than I loved Jacob. Please believe me.”
Hearing that Jer didn’t feel as loved as Jacob, was like a knife cutting into his soul. Ryan swore to himself he’d never forget those words as long as he lived, and promised himself never to take Jer for granted again.
“Sarah…you…you’re the bes…best thing that ever happened to me,” Ryan stammered, choking back his emotions. “God blessed me when he brought you into my life. You were always my best friend, the person that kept me straight, gave me a purpose, brought joy to my life. I miss you more than you could ever imagine. My world ended after our divorce. I’d do anything…give anything…to have you back. Please don’t hate me anymore,” he pleaded, tears now flowing freely down his face. “Forgive me…give me another chance…” he begged, looking at Sarah, fighting to maintain his composure.
Jer stood up and approached his father. At first he laid his hand on his shoulder and leaned over to whisper softly in his ear. “I believe you, Pop. It’s going to be okay. Mom and I both still love you and you’re going to get better.”
Hearing Jer’s whisper caused Ryan to cry unrestrainedly. He gathered himself up to his full height and embraced his son, raising him off the floor as he did so. “I love you so much, Jer. Thank you for saving me…for believing in me…for bringing us together… for providing a chance to be a family once again. You’re a miracle worker.”
As Ryan’s words poured from his mouth between sobs of pure joy, Sarah stood, opened her arms, and embraced her long-estranged family. She hugged the two of them tightly. “I’m so proud of you, Jer…so proud. I’m sorry I ever questioned your intentions. Jacob is smiling down upon us. He’s at peace, too. I love you both.”
Jarrod began a rhythmic clapping that echoed through the enclosed room. “Jer, bravo…it took guts coming out here to face your father and me,” he said, rounding on him, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “But unfortunately, it’s not that easy for me. My mind was long ago made up about your dad. I have a hateful heart, and one speech from you isn’t going to absolve years of antipathy between us. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get some sleep. These past two days are more than I can take. Sarah, you and Jer are welcome to stay here tonight.”