"I am going to meditate on this," she said. "And when I have more information, I will seek you out again. Perhaps I have a part to play in this."
"Thank you," Tauran said, rising to face her. "You've given me renewed strength to see this through."
Eirwyn held up her hands to forestall his gratitude. "I cannot promise that I will be able to offer you much," she said, "but I will do what I can."
"That is all that I can ask," Tauran replied. He hugged her then, thankful for her friendship.
When he stepped back, her gaze bore into him. "Be very careful, Tauran," she said. "You will make many enemies revealing these theories. The High Council of Tyr is a dangerous entity to rile."
Tauran nodded. "I know," he said. Then he drew a deep breath. "But I am due to appear before them any moment, so I must go. Thank you again."
Eirwyn smiled and vanished. A moment later, Tauran departed too.
Neither of them had noticed the lantern archon flitting nearby, hiding beneath the protrusion upon which they sat. Having heard the entire conversion, it vanished, too, hurrying with a heavy heart to report to Micus of Tauran's treachery against Tyr.
Aliisza sat on the bed and wished Kaanyr would stop pacing. The cambion had been at it since the two of them had been brought to her chambers-at least, she assumed they were hers. It felt as if only a day or so had passed since she had last been there, and she had to keep reminding herself it had been eleven years. She wondered if anyone else had spent time here. That thought mildly annoyed her.
What's the matter with me? she thought, growing more agitated. I'm acting like I want to stay here.
On the contrary, the moment two of the dog-headed creatures had escorted the pair to her chambers while Tauran and Kael departed to attend to other matters, Aliisza had grown restless. Certainly, the foreboding sensation of being trapped again unsettled her. But the alu knew it was more than that.
Tauran and Kael's departure had stirred feelings of… regret.
I didn't want them to leave, Aliisza realized. Am I so loath to face Kaanyr alone? Or is there more to it?
"I've been going about this all wrong," Kaanyr said, disrupting her thoughts. "I've been fighting this the whole time. I should know better."
"Fighting what?" she asked, thankful that he had deigned to come out of his brooding to speak to her.
"The angel's hold over me. His plans. All of it."
"Yes," she said.
Kaanyr stopped pacing and turned to look at her. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, scowling. "You never just agree with me lately."
"Only because you've been making no sense lately," she countered. "You have been acting the fool, revealing your every emotion, reacting instead of scheming. You have not been the Kaanyr Vhok I thought I knew." Does that Kaanyr Vhok even exist? she wondered.
The cambion stood and stared at her for a long time. His eyes bored into hers, roamed up and down her body, lingering appreciatively in certain places. She had assumed her true form when they had returned to her chambers, but he hadn't noticed before right then. For the first time in a very long time, Kaanyr seemed…
Hungry, Aliisza decided. She actually began to blush beneath that gaze.
Kaanyr seemed to shake himself out of his carnal stupor. "I'm not the only one behaving oddly," he said. He turned and sat upon a cushioned chair on the far side of the room. "You are not yourself, either."
Aliisza caught herself feeling a bit jealous that Kaanyr had managed to stroll away so easily. She didn't want the moment to end quite like that.
"Who's to blame for that?" she asked, feeling the tiniest bit petulant. "Who arranged for me to become trapped here, under the tutelage of an angel? What did you expect would happen?"
"Zasian assured me that his protective spells would ward you from any true change." Vhok's voice was quiet. "Did he lie about that, too?"
Aliisza thought for a long moment before answering. "No," she said at last. "But he didn't tell you the truth, either. What he did-the spells that he wove over me to shield me from Tauran's influence-wasn't so much a protective mask as it was a… reversion."
Kaanyr cocked his head to one side. "Explain," he demanded.
"He didn't cast a spell that would shield me from something Tauran forced on me. He cast a spell that would change me back at the end."
"So the angel's damnable tricks took hold?" Kaanyr narrowed his eyes and scowled.
"That's just it," Aliisza said, feeling uneasy. She wasn't sure if she wanted to admit her next words to herself, much less to Kaanyr. "There were no tricks, my love. He only showed me a perspective."
"Perspective about what?"
"About the nature of goodness. It's not so easy to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself."
"I'm not sure I want to," Kaanyr countered, waving her away.
"Oh, but you will hear what I say!" Aliisza shouted, angry at his flippant dismissal. "You are the one who subjected me to it, so you are damn well going to hear me out!"
Kaanyr glowered at the alu, but he finally nodded once, almost imperceptibly. "Because it's you," he said.
A flood of old emotions rushed through Aliisza, but she pushed them away and continued. "I came to understand that I could give myself up, make myself vulnerable, and allow myself to care about others before myself," she said. "I learned to surrender to caring, because it can come back tenfold, if you let it. I know it doesn't make any sense to you, because you did not go through what I did, but trust me, there can be times when the benefit you reap is worth the price you pay."
She could tell by the look on Kaanyr's face that he either didn't understand what she was talking about or didn't care to. She pushed on without letting him interrupt.
"I think Zasian understood what would happen to me and simply lied to you. He might have told you that Tauran's efforts would involve coercion or divine trickery, but that's not how it happened. I came to those conclusions on my own. All Zasian did was plant a trigger that would remind me of who I was before-snap me out of it, if you will."
Kaanyr pursed his lips in thought. "So, where do things stand for you now?" he asked. "Whose side are you on?"
"That's just it," Aliisza said, rising from the bed to begin pacing. She had to choose her next words very carefully. "I'm not on anyone's side."
"So you believe this nonsense that the angel spouts?" The cambion's voice dripped with disgust. "Or else you claim to in order to torment me."
"No!" Aliisza said, turning to face him. She clenched her hands, feeling helpless to explain. "Not like that," she said, but her voice was faint. She knew Kaanyr wouldn't believe her. She didn't believe the words herself.
The reward you reap is worth the price you pay.
"I love four men," she said at last, blurting it out before she could think about it.
Kaanyr raised one eyebrow. He looked almost bemused. "That's just not a word I hear from your lips, lover," he said, then, when he realized his own irony, added, "at least not used in that way."
Aliisza almost chuckled. He thought her notion of being in love was stranger than the fact that she shared it among four men. "I love each of you in a very different way," she said, "and I will not demean any of it by trying to explain them all to you."
"How noble of you," he countered. That sardonic tone was back.
"But know that you are one of them," she said, staring him straight in the eye. "Despite everything that has happened, despite all that you have done to me, I am still yours, lover." She almost felt herself slip into that provocative, purring tone of voice. She resisted it.
Kaanyr smirked. "You have a strange way of showing it," he said. "Most of my lovers don't trick me into entering subservient arrangements with angels."