‘I know,’ he wept
‘And therefore you should kill yourself. Check,’ I invited, ‘my logic with the aid of your computing machine, if you wish. But please do not disturb the course computations I have set up on it.’
‘It is not necessary, Plinglot,’ he said with sadness. ‘You are right’
‘So kill yourself!’ I bellowed.
The small creature, how foolish, would not do this, no. He said: ‘I do not want to, Plinglot,’ apologetically. ‘But I will not disturb your course.’
Well, it was damned decent of him, in a figure of speech, I believed, for that course was most important to me; on it depended the success of my present mission, which was to demolish Earth as I had his own planet I attempted to explain, in way of thanks, but he would not understand, no.
‘Earth?’ he squeaked feebly and I attempted to make him see. Yes, Earth, that planet so far away, it too had a population which was growing large and fierce and smart; it too was hovering on the fringe of space travel. Oh, it was dangerous, but he would not see, though I explained and I am Plinglot. I can allow no rivals in space, it is my assigned task, given in hand by the great Mother. Well, I terrified him, it was all I could do.
Having locked him, helpless, in a compartment of his own ship I consulted my time.
It was fleeing I flopped onto my armchair; z-z-z-z-zit; once again in the room in the Hotel Mayflower, Washington, U.S.A.
Things progressed, all was ready. I opened the door, affecting having just awaked. A chambermaid turned from dusting pictures on the wall, said, ‘Good morning, sir,’ looked at me and -oh! - screamed. Screamed in a terrible tone.
Careless Plinglot! I had forgot to return to human form.
Most fortunately, she fainted. I quickly turned human and found a rope. It took very much time, and time was passing, while the rocket hastened to cover forty million miles; it would arrive soon where I had sent it. I hurried. Hardly, hardly, I made myself do it, though as anyone on Tau Ceti knows it was difficult for me; I tied her; I forced a pillowcase, or one corner of it, into her mouth so that she might not cry out; and even I locked her in a closet. Oh, it was hard. Questions? Difficulty? Danger? Yes. They were all there to be considered, too, but I had no time to consider them. Time was passing, I have said, and time passed for me.
It was only a temporary expedient. In time she would be found. Of course. This did not matter. In time there would be no time, you see, for time would come to an end for chambermaid, Duplessin, senators and the M.V.D., and then what?
Then Plinglot would have completed this, his mission, and two-eyes would join three-eyes, good-bye.
4
Senator Schnell this time was waiting for me at the kerb in a hollow square of newsmen. ‘Mr. Smith,’ he cried, ‘how good to see you. Now, please, fellows! Mr. Smith is a busy man. Oh, all right, just one picture, or two.’ And he made to shoo the photographers off while wrapping himself securely to my side. ‘Terrible men,’ he whispered out of the golden corner of his mouth, smiling, smiling, ‘how they pester me!’
‘I am sorry, Senator,’ I said politely and permitted him to lead me through the flash barrage to the large room for the hearings.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.) Mr. Smith, in yesterday’s testimony you gave us to understand that Russia was making overtures to the alien creatures from Aldebaran. Now, I’d like to call your attention to something. Have you seen this morning’s papers?
A. No.
Q. Then let me read you an extract from Pierce Truman’s column which has just come to my attention. It starts, ‘After yesterday’s sensational rev -’
Q. (Senator Loveless.) Excuse me, Mr. Hagsworth.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.)’- elations.’ Yes, Senator?
Q. (Senator Loveless.) I only want to know, or to ask, if that document - that is, the newspaper which you hold in your hand - is a matter of evidence. By this I mean an exhibit. If so, I raise the question, or rather suggestion, that it should be properly marked and entered.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.) Well, Senator, I-
Q. (Senator Loveless.) As an exhibit, I mean.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.) Yes, as an exhibit. I -
Q. (Senator Loveless.) Excuse me for interrupting. It seemed an important matter - important procedural matter, that is.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.) Certainly, Senator. Well, Senator, I intended to read it only in order to have Mr. Smith give us his views.
Q. (Senator Loveless.) Thank you for that explanation, Mr. Hagsworth. Still it seems to me, or at the moment it appears to me, that it ought to be marked and entered.
Q. (The Chairman.) Senator, in my view -
Q. (Senator Loveless.) As an exhibit, that is.
Q. (The Chairman.) Thank you for that clarification, Senator. In my view, however, since as Mr. Hagsworth has said it is only Mr. Smith’s views that he is seeking to get out, then the article itself is not evidence but merely an adjunct to questioning. Anyway, frankly, Senator, that’s the way I see it. But I don’t want to impose my will on the Committee. I hope you understand that, all of you.
Q. (Mr. Hagsworth.) Certainly, sir.
Q. (Senator Loveless.) Oh, none of us has any idea, or suspicion, Senator Schnell, that you have any such design, or purpose.
Q. (Senator Duffy.) Of course not.
Q. (Senator Fly.) No, not here...
Oh, time, time! I looked at the clock on the wall and time was going, I did not wish to be here when it started. Of course. Ten o’clock. Ten thirty. Five minutes approaching eleven. Then this Mr. Pierce Truman’s column at last was marked and entered and recorded after civil objection and polite concession from Senator Schnell and in thus wise made an immutable, permanent, in destructible part of the files of this mutable, transient, soon to be destroyed committee. Oh, comedy! But it would not be for laughing if I dawdled here too late.
Somehow, somehow, Mr. Hagsworth was entitled at last to read his column and it said as follows. Viz.
After yesterday’s sensational revelations before the Schnell Committee, backstage Washington was offering bets that nothing could top the mysterious Mr. Smith’s weird story of creatures from outer space. But the toppers may already be on hand.
Here are two questions for you, Senator Schnell. What were three Soviet U.N. military attaches doing at a special showing at the Hayden Planetarium last night? And what’s the truth beyond the reports that are filtering into C.I.A. from sources in Bulgaria, concerning a special parade scheduled for Moscow’s Red Square tomorrow to welcome ‘unusual and very special’ V.LP.’s, names unknown?
Exhausted from this effort, the committee declared a twenty-minute recess. I glowered at the clock, time, time!
Mr. Hagsworth had plenty of time, he thought, he was not worried. He cornered me in the cloakroom. ‘Smoke?’ he said graciously, offering a package of cigarettes.
I said thank you, I do not smoke.
‘Care for a drink?’
I do not drink, I told him.
‘Or -?’ he nodded towards the tiled room with the chromium pipes; I do not do that either, but I could not tell him so, only, I shook my head.
‘Well, Mr. Smith,’ he said again, ‘you make a good witness. I’m sorry,’ he added, ‘to spring that column on you like that But I couldn’t help it.’
“No matter,’ I said.
‘You’re a good sport, Smith. You see, one of the reporters handed it to me as we walked into the hearing room.’