“Eventually. They probably won’t name someone immediately.”
Sam came bounding up the steps, a huge grin on her face that she wiped off almost immediately, replaced by professional demeanor as she stepped in front of the cameras. “General.”
“Colonel Carter. Good to see you in one piece.” O’Neill’s voice had a vaguely inappropriate mocking edge in it, a little too sarcastic for the situation. “Sheppard says the Hammond is spaceworthy.”
She nodded. “We’ve done some repairs. I won’t say we’re in tip-top form, but we’re battle ready.”
“Woolsey may not be back,” John said to her under his breath.
“Understood,” she replied, her eyes on the screen, O’Neill in the control room of the SGC.
He glanced at someone they couldn’t see behind him. “Colonel Mitchell, you can stand down. You won’t need to go charging in right this minute.” He looked back at the camera. “But I will need some reports. These are twelve days old.”
“A lot has happened in twelve days,” John said. “We’ve got an op running right now you’ll want to know about.” He scratched his head. “Banks, can you route this into the office? Sam and I will take it in there.”
“Sure,” Banks said. She switched it over and her screen went blank. She looked up at John. “It’s good to hear from home, isn’t it?”
Ninety-six emails in the upload from the SGC. Sam turned her speakers down, Billy Joel’s This is the Time to Remember on too loud. That song always reminded her of Daniel, which was maybe why she opened his email first.
Hi Sam,
I’m glad you’re ok.
That was Daniel, straight to the point.
Once again you’ve screwed up my trip to Atlantis! We were standing on the ramp. Vala was bouncing up and down and Mitchell had his steely-eyed hero thing going on, and Teal’c was…Teal’c. And Jack was pacing around the control room getting all over Landry’s nerves. We were going to come charging in to rescue you, and just incidentally be in Atlantis for weeks until we could get back.
But no. You had to be fine! You had to not need rescuing. I swear Jack sounded irritated when he told Mitchell to stand down! Certainly we were disappointed. Mitchell wasn’t going to get to take on the Wraith all by himself and Vala wasn’t going to loot the City of the Ancients. And me and Teal’c… We were worried about you, Sam.
And that was Daniel straight to the point too.
Beside her on the desk Billy Joel was singing about walking on a beach beside an old hotel. It had been a deserted Goa’uld pleasure palace, not a hotel, but there had been a cold, windswept beach. They’d been stuck there for nearly two weeks, detoxing from an alien addiction, days and days of pacing up and down that beach with Daniel, listening to him tell stories. She had no gift of storytelling, but she’d certainly appreciated Daniel’s that time.
I won’t tell you to be careful, because I know you will be unless you can’t. And I won’t tell you to feel guilty or worry about us, because I know you already do. I know you would trade anything for this opportunity. I know you have traded things for it. I mean, I’m a couple of years older than you, but men don’t have a window of opportunity about having kids the same way women do. Command of the Hammond at forty-one for how many years? Four or five probably? Believe me, Sam, I know the trade you’re making, the door you’re closing to be one of Earth’s four starship commanders, to be, for these short years, at the pinnacle. To make the difference.
And then it will be time to get out of the field. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m feeling it. I’m forty-four, Sam. I’ve been “Combat Archaeologist” for fourteen years now. I’m not done yet, but I can see it on the horizon. There’s going to be a time when “we retreated to the Stargate under fire” stops sounding like fun. Ok, it’s already stopped sounding like fun, but I can still do it. Jack knew when it was time to get out of the field, and he was wise enough to do it. I guess I’m saying there’s a time to leave the table when you’re winning, and you may have a bunch of hands yet to play, but I’m starting to look at the chips and wonder how many I’ve got left.
“Oh, Daniel,” she said quietly.
I’m losing the edge the way Jack did. All of which is a round about way of saying that if the IOA relieves Woolsey, Jack’s put my name in for command in Atlantis. It’s a poison pill in some ways. He knows they know they can’t push me around, and I figured I’d play. Why not? But now I’m starting to hope it happens. Which surprises me, because I didn’t think I’d want that. But I think maybe…I do. I wasn’t prepared for how let down I felt on the ramp that I wasn’t coming to Atlantis.
“You know, you could just come,” Sam said out loud. “You don’t have to be rescuing me or taking command. You could just come.” Of course it wasn’t that simple, but maybe it would be. Maybe they could make it that simple.
I’ve wanted to come since the original expedition left, and my two brief(!) trips haven’t turned out very well.
Which is one word for being electrocuted and nearly dying, Sam thought.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is this: this is your moment in history. Seize it! Don’t worry about us. The only thing we really want is to be there with you. Not to have you home one minute before you need to be. There is world enough, and time. Or at least we must live as though there were.
Love,
Daniel
“Oh, Daniel,” she said again, glancing up at the pictures on the wall over the desk. That picture was more than ten years old, Daniel in his floppy hat and wire rimmed glasses, Teal’c looking impassive beside him without a hint of expression, on some alien world or another. It kind of said something that she couldn’t remember which one, or exactly which mission that picture was from. It was after the one where they’d found Cassie traumatized and mute, the sole survivor of a bioengineered plague that had killed her family. It was after the one where she’d given her father to the Tok’ra. But it was before the one where they’d all lost their memory and toiled as slaves in underground factories. Daniel had had different glasses then.
“Such a strange life,” she said, touching the picture with her fingertip, which was nothing like touching Daniel.
Sam hit reply and lifted her chin, squinting at the screen where the words wavered just a little bit.
Damn. Some things were horrible, yet unavoidable. She slid the drawer open a furtive inch and pulled them out, balanced the drug store reading glasses on her nose. Better. The letters were all crisp now. They were a terrible compromise, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
Dear Daniel,
Come to Atlantis. It’s time.
“I know it is not the tensile strength you want,” Dr. Kusanagi said, “But we do not have any of the 640 plating left. We used the last of it on the mechanical iris. I have some of the 440, which is enough to hold in vacuum, but…” She spread her hands apologetically.
Enough to hold in vacuum if it never had to take fire. Which made it problematic for hull repair. Still, it was less problematic than a gaping hole. And there was no point in griping at Miko about not having things she didn’t have.
“Ok, if it’s the 440 you’ve got,” Sam said. “It will have to do temporarily.”