De Grieux was like all Frenchmen; that is, gay and poUte
when necessary and profitable to be so, and insufferably tedious when the necessity to be gay and polite was over. A Frenchman is not often naturally polite. He is always polite, as it were, to order, with a motive. If he sees the necessity for being fantastic, original, a Uttle out of the ordinary, then his freakish-ness is most stupid and unnatural, and is made up of accepted and long-vulgarised traditions. The natural Frenchman is composed of the most plebeian, petty, ordinary practical sense—in fact, he is one of the most wearisome creatures in the world. In my opinion, only the innocent and inexperienced—especially Russian young ladies—are fascinated by Frenchmen. To every decent person the conventionalism of the established traditions of drawing-room politeness, ease and gaiety are at once evident and intolerable.
"I have come to see you on business," he began, with marked directness, though with courtesy, "and I will not disguise that I have come as an ambassador, or rather cis a mediator, from the General. As I know Russian very imperfectly I understood very little of what passed yesterday, but the General explained it to me in detail, and I confess . . ."
"But, Usten, M. de Grieux," I interrupted; "here you have undertaken to be a mediator in this affair. I am, of course, an mOchitel, and have never laid claim to the honour of being a great friend of this family, nor of being on particularly intimate terms with it, and so I don't know all the circumstances; but explain: are you now entirely a member of the family? You take such an interest in everything and are certain at once to be a mediator . . ."
This question did not please him. It was too transparent for him, and he did not want to speak out.
"I am coimected with the General partly by business, partly by certain special circumstances," he said dryly. "The General has sent me to ask you to abandon the intentions you expressed yesterday. All you thought of doing was no doubt very clever; but he begged me to represent to you that you would be utterly unsuccessful; what's more, the Baron will not receive you, and in any case is in a position to rid himself of any further unpleasantness on your part. You must see that yourself. Tell me, what is the object of going on with it? The General promises to take you back into his home at the first convenient opportunity, and until that time will continue your salary, ws af^ndiemeniis. That will be fairly profitable, won't it?"
I retorted very calmly that he was rather mistaken; that
perhaps I shouldn't be kicked out at the Baron's, but, on the contrary, should be listened to; and I asked him to admit that he had probably come to find out what steps I was going to take in the matter.
"Oh, heavens! Since the General is so interested, he will, of course, be glad to know how you are going to behave, and what you are going to do."
I proceeded to explain, and he began listening, stretching himself at his ease, and inclining his head on one side towarcfi me, with an obvious, undisguised expression of irony on his face. Altogether he behaved very loftily. I tried with all my might to pretend that I took a very serious view of the matter. I explained that since the Baron had addressed a complaint of me to the General as though I were the latter's servant, he had, in the first place, deprived me thereby of my position; and secondly, had treated me as a person who was incapable of answering for himself and who was not worth speaking to. Of course, I said, I felt with justice that I had been insulted; however, considering the difference of age, position in society, and so on, and so on (I could scarcely restrain my laughter at this point), I did not want to rush into fresh indiscretion by directly insisting on satisfaction from the Baron, or even proposing a duel to him; nevertheless, I considered myself fully entitied to offer the Baron, and still more the Baroness, my apologies, especially since of late I had really felt iU. overwrought, and, so to say, fanciful, and so on, and so on. However, the Baron had, by his applying to the General, which was a slight to me, and by his insisting that the General should deprive me of my post, put me in such a position that now I could not offer him and the Baroness my apologies, because he and the Baroness and all the world would certainly suppose that I came to apologies because I was frightened and in order to be reinstated in my post. From all this it followed that I found myself now compelled to beg the Baron first of all to apologise to me in the most formal terms; for instance, to say that he had no desire to insult me. And when the Baron said this I should feel that my hands were set free, and with perfect candour and sincerity I should offer him my apologies. In brief, I concluded, I could only beg the Baron to untie my hands.
"Fie! how petty and how far-fetched! And why do you want to apologise? Come, admit, monsieur . . . monsieur . . . that you are doing all this on purpose to vex the General . . . and perhaps you have some special object . . .mon cher mon-
sieur . . . pastdcn, j'ai oublie voire nom, M. Alexis? , . . N'est-ce pas?"
"But excuse me, mon cher marquis, what has it to do with
you?"
"Mais le gdndral . . ."
"But what about the General? He said something last night, that he had to be particularly careful . . . and was so upset. . . but I did not understand it."
"There is, there certainly is a particular circumstance," De Grieux caught me up in an insistent voice, in which a note of vexation was more and more marked. "You know Mile, de Cominges . . .?"
"That is, MUe. Blanche?"
"Why, yes. Mile. Blanche de Cominges . . . et madmm sa mere. You see for yourself, the General ... in short, the General is in love; in fact ... in fact, the marriage may be celebrated here. And fancy, scandal, gossip ..."
"I see no scandal or gossip connected witii the marriage in this."
"But le baron est si irascible un caractere Prussien, vous savez, enf,n U fera wne qiterelle d'AUemand."
"With me, then, and not with you, for I no longer belong to the household . . ." (I tried to be as irrational as possible on purpose.) "But, excuse me, is it settled, then, that Mile. Blanche is to marry the General? What are they waiting for? I mean, why conceal this from us, at any rate, from the members of ttie household?"
"I cannot . . . however, it is not quite . . . besides . . . you know, they are expecting news from Russia; the General has to make arrangements ..."
"A/ a! La babouUrika!"
De Grieux looked at me with hatred.
"In short," he interrupted, "I fully rely on your innate courtesy, on your intelligence, on your tact . . . You will certainly do this for the family in which you have been received like one of themselves, in which you have been Uked and respected ..."
"Excuse me, I've been dismissed! You maintain now that that is only in appearance; but you must admit, if you were told: 'I won't send you packing, but, for the look of the thing, kindly take yourself off.'. . . You see, it comes almost to the same thing."
"Well, if that's how it is, if no request will have any influence
on you," he began sternly and haughtily, "allow me to assure you that steps will be taken. There are authorities here; you'll be turned out to-day— qus climbl&! Un blanc-bec comme vous wants to challenge a personage like the Baron! And do you think that you mil not be interfered with? And, let me assure you, nobody is afraid of you here! I have approached you on my own account, because you have been worrying the General. And do you imagine that the Baron will not order his flunkeys to turn you out of the house?"
"But, you see, I'm not going myself," I answered, with the utmost composure. "You are mistaken, M. de Grieux; all this will be done much more decorously than you imagine. I am just setting off to Mr. Astley, and I am going to ask him to be my intermediary; in fact, to be my second. The man likes me, and certainly will not refuse. He will go to the Baron, and the Baron will receive him. Even if I am an outchitet and seem to be something subordinate and, well, defenceless, Mr. Astley is a nephew of a lord, of a real lord; everyone knows that— Lord Pibroch—and that lord is here. BeUeve me, the Baron will be courteous to Mr. Astley and will Usten to him. And if he won't listen, Mr. Astley will look upon it as a personal affront (you know how persistent Englishmen are), and wiU send a friend to caJl on the Baron; he has powerful friends. You may reckon, now, upon things not turning out quite as you expect."