I said, I’m fine, thankee. Why are you here so late at night?
She began to laugh, like a horse throwing its head back and sniffing the air. I could see tiny blue lines in her fat neck where her blood was. It was not a pretty neck, although I have seen pretty necks: long, stretchy white necks, like swans gliding in the lake in the park. I touched the stiff edge of my collar and waited for her to talk again. Her face was dirty, and the sleeve of her dress was ragged, like it had been chewed.
I know ye want to buy me a nip o’ gin, sir, she said. Will ye buy me a nip?
Since I had to go get some wine for Mummy, and the lass seemed nice enough, I told her I could buy her a nip.
Oh, you’re a good boy! said the lass.
(Of course, I know I am a good boy, because Mummy tells me that all the time. I try very hard to be a good boy for her.)
What’s your name, sir? she asked.
Jack, I said.
You’re a good boy, Jack, said the lass. My name is Annie.
It is an honor to meet you, Annie, I said. Lasses like that, when I talk courtly. Annie liked it, and she laughed again.
Come on, then, she said. Let’s get us a drop!
I went with Annie to a pub and bought Mummy’s port. Annie wanted a gin, and so I bought her a nip. She was thirsty, and she took the whole glass at once. I thought her gulping a bit common and lower-class, but when she asked me for another, I bought it for her. Then she asked for a third.
I’ve not got any more money, Annie, I said.
Oh, my! she said. Well, then, I shall have to find another man to buy me a nip. Because it is a cold, damp night.
No, Annie, I said. Don’t go. (Because I was starting to fancy her.)
Well, sir, I don’t want to go because ye have been so nice to me. But I am very thirsty. Then she laughed again.
I thought that Mummy would be very thirsty by this time, so I decided that I should go home. But I still fancied Annie.
I said, Annie, can I ask ye to supper? I can give you a bit of gin that I’ve got back at home.
Annie smiled at me with a big brown rotted smile. It’s too late for supper, but I can give ye a bite if you want, sir.
No, thankee, I said for I was not hungry. Why don’t ye come for supper on Friday, then?
Oh, sir, said Annie, that would be quite nice.
I shall come to get ye, Annie.
Thankee, luv, she said. Come to get me here.
Cheers, I said, then left and headed toward home. The whole walk home, I tripped over rats running beneath me in the fog. The misty air was like a big fish swallowing the street. I wanted to be home and to hear a bedtime story before I went to sleep. But when I did get home, Mummy was asleep. I put the wine in the cupboard and went to bed with no bedtime story (which made me feel quite lonely).
The next morning I told Mummy that I had invited a guest for supper for next week.
Who’s that? she asked.
A lass, said I.
Jack! Why are ye bringing lassies home? she scolded me.
She wanted to meet ye, Mummy.
It’s not proper to bring lassies home! she yelled. Not proper at all!
Then I remembered the port and brought it from the cupboard. While I poured her drink, I said, She is nice, Mummy.
Mummy drank a bit. Then she drank a wee bit more and smiled. She said to me, Well, I must meet her if ye think she is nice, my Jackie.
She is nice, Mummy, I said.
She had another nip and said, Mummy can tell ye if she is a proper lass or not.
I said that was why I wanted Mummy to meet her.
Good boy, that y’think of your mummy. You were raised a proper gentleman, my Jack.
I was very happy when she said this. There are times that Mummy makes me very happy. Even if she has her sharp opinions.
The following week I walked out again and found the pub where Annie was supposed to be. She was not there, and I waited for her. The barman tried to give me drinks, but I did not want to drink anything.
Get out if you’re not goin’ to be buying somethin’! he yelled. You’re in a pub, you fool.
I am waiting for a lass, I answered.
Who, then, are ye waitin’ for? he asked me.
Annie, said I.
What Annie? said the man.
Jest Annie is her name.
Ye can wait outside, then, said the man.
I waited outside near the door. Annie came, but she was late. She almost did not see me. She almost walked through the door without saying hello. But I took her on the elbow, and that got her to turn around.
Allo, Annie, I said.
Allo, mate, she said. Buy me a slug, will ye?
I looked at her, and she stared back as if she did not know my face.
Ye are coming for supper, then? I asked.
Supper? Why would I come with ye to supper? she asked.
I thought she was playing a game. Annie, ye said ye’d come the night to supper with me, I explained.
Buy me a nip o’ gin, and I’ll come to supper with ye, she said.
All right, then, Annie. I’ll buy you a nip.
We went inside. I bought her a gin and then a few more. She was soon very happy to come to supper, although I was no longer so certain she should come. She was tipsy, and Mummy does not think it proper for a lass to be tipsy.
I tried to tell her that, but she laughed in my face. Still, she followed me all the way to home. I opened the door, and Annie walked in behind me. Annie, said I, do ye know any bedtime stories?
Aye, she answered. I know every story every man wants to hear. But first I want a nip o’ gin.
I told her soon, after supper. Mummy could not lay the table, being so sick. So I put the cutlery out. Then I took dishes and gave them to Annie.
Lay the dishes, please, Annie, for I must go to see how Mummy is getting on. Then I went to see Mummy.
She was waiting for me. Is that lass here? she asked.
Yes, Mummy, she’s here, I replied. Do ye want to eat with us, or shall I bring ye something in bed?
I think I’ll eat with ye, Mummy said. Bring me to the table, my Jackie.
I lifted her up and brought her to the table, and Annie was sitting there. She had not yet laid any dishes.
Did ye not lay the table, girl? asked Mummy.
Annie looked at Mummy with bleary eyes and did not say anything, which I thought was very rude.
I brought to the table a piece of cold beef, bread, and water.
Ye said you’d give me a nip, Annie said.
Annie was not behaving the way I thought she would with Mummy present, but I gave her a bit of gin anyway. Then she was quiet for a minute. Mummy ate a few bites of beef and bread. Then she said to Annie, What’re y’called, lassie?