Annie Chapman, ma’am.
Annie Chapman, said Mummy. Where did ye meet my Jack?
Annie drank and did not say a word. But my mummy continued, Jack is a good boy, Miss Annie Chapman. Do y’know that?
Aye, ma’am, answered Annie, he’s a good boy.
He was not always such a good boy, said Mummy.
Annie looked up from her nip. How’s that?
Once, when he was a wee lad, he tore up all my linen, Mummy said, coughing and cackling. Do ye remember that, Jack?
Yes, I said. I was a bit embarrassed.
Said Mummy, I was quite cross with him when he was young because he ruined everything. He was a little terror, my Jackie. A terror and a tearer. Jackie the Tearer. But now look how handsome he has grown up to be.
Aye, Annie answered.
Do ye like his mustache? asked Mummy.
I do, said Annie.
Then Mummy et a bit more. Annie did not have any bread or beef, but she took another glass of gin. After a while Mummy turned to me and said, Jackie, take us to bed, will ye?
I carried her to her bedroom once again. Before I left, she whispered loudly to me, Jack, I donna like the lass. She is not for a proper-raised gentleman like you.
Oh, Mummy, I said. I was disappointed, but Mummy was sick, so I tried to hide it.
She does not smile like a young lady. Tonight she did not smile at all, Jack.
I have seen her smile, Mummy. Sometimes she smiles at me.
Mummy shook her head. She does not smile big enough, Jackie. Not big like a bright young lassie is meant to smile!
I listened to her words. They were not nice words, but they were proper. Do ye think so, Mummy?
I do, she replied.
Then what shall I do with her?
I donna care. Just get her away and come back to me, Jack.
I knew she was right. She is right always. Ye are clever, Mummy.
I jest want to save me boy from bad lassies, Jackie.
Ye love me, Mummy?
I do, Jackie, said Mummy. You are my babe.
I was so happy to hear her say that. I knew what could make her happier. I gave her a kiss on her head full of white hair and told her I’d be back soon.
I took the cutlery and the dishes to the cupboard and stowed almost everything away. Come on, then, Annie, said I. It’s time to take ye back home.
Give another nip o’ gin, luv, she cried.
We’ve got nothing to give ye, Annie, and so let’s get a go.
Oh, but for a bit of gin!
Back in the pub, Annie, I said. Let us go back to where I found ye.
Aye, luv! she cheered.
We walked a bit. Then I said, There’s a nice pub over here, Annie.
Where? Annie asked. I donna see nothin’.
It was true, because the street was dark and the place was very still.
Annie, said I, Mummy said ye don’t smile big enough.
I cannot smile when I’ve got no drink in me, she answered.
I think ye should smile bigger, I said.
She pouted. Then why don’t y’make me smile bigger, luv.
I can, Annie, I can, said I.
And then I made her smile the biggest smile she ever had.
When I got home, Mummy was asleep, so I could not tell her about Annie’s big smile. I took off my clothes, which were quite wrinkled from walking home in the mist and fog that swallows up everything like a big fish.
The next morning I did not tell Mummy, because I wanted to keep it all a surprise for her birthday, which is very soon. She will know when I tell her. She will see what a good boy I am. And then maybe she will tell me a bedtime story. Perhaps even a bedtime story every night.
But tonight I shall go for a walk again and get my mummy a wee bit of port for her spirits. I do it because it makes her so happy to have her spirits. It is often hard to make Mummy happy because she has so many sharp opinions. But I try and try. I do it all because I love her.
B onding
“Bonding” is probably the most disturbing tale that I’ve ever written. My very first short story written for a Sisters in Crime anthology, it provides a stark contrast to Peter Decker and Rina Lazarus’s supportive parenting style, something that I repeatedly emphasize in my novels. I wanted to write something radically different from my first novel, The Ritual Bath, and I suppose I did just that.
I became a prostitute because I was bored. let me tell you about it. My mother is a greedy, self-centered egotist and a pill-popper. I don’t think we exchange more than a sentence worth of words a week. Our house is very big- one of these fake-o hacienda types on an acre of flat land in prime Gucciland Beverly Hills-so it’s real easy to avoid each other. She doesn’t know what I do and wouldn’t care if she did know. My father doesn’t hassle me ’cause he’s never around. I mean, never around. He rarely sleeps at home anymore, and I don’t know why my parents stay married. Just laziness, I guess. So when my friend came around one day and suggested we hustle for kicks, I said sure, why not.
Our first night was on a Saturday. I dressed up in a black mini with fishnet stockings, the garters lower than the hem of my dress. I painted my lips bright red, slapped on layers of makeup, and took a couple of downers. I looked the way I felt-like something brought up from the dead. We boogied on down to the Strip, my friend supplying the skins, and made a bet: who could earn the most in three hours. I won easily; I didn’t even bother to screw any of the johns-just went down on them in a back alley or right in their cars. I hustled seven washed-out old guys at sixty bucks a pop. Can’t say it was a bundle of yuks, but it was different. Jesus, anything’s better than the boredom.
The following day, after school, me and my friend got buzzed and went shopping at the mall. I took my hustle money and bought this real neat blouse accented with white and blue rhinestones and sequins. I also saw this fabulous belt made of silver and turquoise, but it was over a hundred and fifty dollars, and I didn’t want to spend that much money on just a belt. So I lifted it. Even with the new electronic gizmos and the security guards, stealing isn’t very hard, not much of a challenge.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I was born fifteen years ago, the “love child” of a biker and his teenage babe. I think my real mother was, like, twelve or thirteen at the time. I once asked my bitch of a mother about her, and she got reeeallly agitated. Her face got red, and she began to talk in that hysterical way of hers. The whole thing was, like, too threatening for her to deal with. Anyway, I was adopted as an infant. And I never remember being happy. I remember crying at my sixth birthday party ’cause Billy Freed poked his fingers in my Cookie Monster cake. Mom went bonkers-we hadn’t photographed the cake yet-and started screaming at Billy. Then he started crying. God, I was mad at Billy, but after Mom lit into him, I almost felt sorry for the kid. I mean, it was only a cake, you know.