“Why did you come back?” I ask her.
“Didn’t you miss me?” She tilts her head, again like a bird. I wonder if she sheds her skin at night and there are feathers underneath.
“Of course I missed you. I missed you so much. But weren’t you free? Didn’t you get away? Why would you come back?”
She reaches for my hand but I pull it away.
“Do you remember your mother?”
I freeze. “Why?”
My mother wore yellow dresses and grew lavender in the front yard. Her eyes were brown, like mine. Or maybe they were blue.
“Do you think she’s out there looking for you?”
I sit down, my back against the rock. My stomach is hurting.
She isn’t letting it go. “Do you?”
I want to think so. But it’s been so long. She’s probably given up by now. I wipe my face with my sleeve.
“Know what I think?”
I shake my head.
She slides off the rock and grabs my wrists. She’s careful of the bruises. She always has been. “I think moms never stop looking for their kids. Not ever. No matter how long it has been.”
“I don’t look the same anymore.”
“No, you don’t. You’ve grown a lot in the last few years.”
“What if she doesn’t recognize me?”
“I think she would.”
I cough and the black-eyed girl pulls away. “Come on. We need to get you inside. You’re getting sick and you remember what that’s like. Maybe when he comes back, he’ll bring more wood.”
He doesn’t. He doesn’t bring much food, either, just a cheeseburger from a fast food place and a shopping bag full of apples.
“Is…is there anything else?” I ask, and I pay for it. The girl with the black hair helps me up and stands behind me while I wash the blood from my dress. I meet her eyes in the mirror.
“Something’s wrong, did you notice?” Her arms are folded across her chest. “See how he’s pacing like that? Be careful.”
He barks for me and I come. The girl was right. Something is wrong.
“Have you been out of this house, Mary?” he demanded.
My name isn’t Mary. I told him that once, but he didn’t care. We’re all Mary here.
“Yes, sir. Just to the field and the wood pile.”
“No farther?”
“No, sir.” There isn’t anywhere else to go. Nothing but fields and rocks and animals that run through the grass.
He leans close, his face red and his eyes wild. I flinch and this seems to make him angrier.
“You afraid of me, girl?”
I don’t know what to say. His fist rises. The girl with the black hair stands behind him, her eyes huge. They’re leaking oil. I’m still staring at her when he hits me the first time. A few more blows and I squeal, “How come you only hurt me and not Black Mary?” The second I say it I wish I could take it back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I tell her, but she crouches in the corner, her hands over her ears, facing away from me.
The man demands to know if I love him. I try to say no. I try to say yes. My mouth is too swollen to work properly. The man stares at me in a new way and leaves. He’s never left before morning before. Even though I’m grateful, my stomach twists and I’m afraid.
A new girl arrives with the sunrise. She’s younger than I am. She has curly red hair and freckles. Like me, she’s in a torn dress. Like me, her feet are bare.
“Who are you?” I ask. It hurts to move my jaw.
“This is Red Mary.”
The girl with the black hair has bruises around her eyes. Her long hair has been cut, shaggy and boyish, like mine. She has displeased him.
“What happened to you?” I want to ask, but I’m afraid that she’ll tell me. He found her. He went to her. I pointed her out and she isn’t safe anymore.
Red Mary speaks. Her voice is tremulous, soft like tiny bells. “He asked me if I liked toys. He said that we could play games.”
I turn and look at her. Seize her arm, yank up her sleeve. Her skin is white, without marks in the shape of his fingers. Her eyes are scared but not horrified. Not yet.
“He said that to me,” I told her. I grab her hand. She grabs back.
“He said that to me, too.” Black Mary’s voice has changed. It sounds tired, more like mine. Like she’s given up.
I’m not giving up. Not if we can save Red Mary.
“We need to go,” I say. The girls look at me. I swallow hard. “We need to go.”
“Go?” Red Mary asks. She’s so trusting. She’s holding onto a grey stuffed bunny that I hadn’t noticed before. I had one just like it when I was little.
“He’ll hurt you,” I tell her. “He’ll keep you here and do…horrible things.”
She starts to tremble. “What kind of things?”
My breath hitches and I can’t talk for a minute. I catch Black Mary’s eye. One is starting to swell shut, but she still tries to smile at me.
“If he catches you, he’ll kill you,” she says. “You know that he will.”
I know.
I don’t have anything to take with me except the apples. I shove my feet into the too-big shoes and stuff them with newspaper. It had snowed during the night. I wish that I had a coat.
“Now we run,” I say, and take Red Mary by the hand. My muscles ache and new cuts from last night open up. But we keep moving.
“I’m tired,” Red Mary says after a few hours. “I want to go back.”
I shake my head. “You don’t.”
Black Mary climbs beside me. She isn’t even breathing heavy.
“Do you remember,” she says, “when we tried to run away before? You were little, just like Red Mary. We got about this far and then you turned back.”
I’m shocked. “Did I? Why would I do that?”
She shrugs. “You didn’t know any better. You didn’t know what he was like then.”
My sides hurt. My feet are blistered, but I know that if I stop he’ll catch me. There was something wrong last night, something in his eyes that makes my mouth go dry.
“He’s in trouble. Maybe somebody knows. Or maybe,” Black Mary says, blood running from the corner of her mouth, “you’re too old.”
“What do you mean, too old?”
“You know what I mean.”
The snow starts to fall again. The cough from earlier deepens in my lungs.
“Are you going to die?” Red Mary asks. She’s skipping through the snow, not seeming to feel the cold.
“That’s not a nice thing to ask,” Black Mary scolds. Her hair is back to its long, shiny length, her black eyes healed.
“But is she? Are you?” Red Mary turns to me. I don’t know what to say.
Black Mary lies down in the snow. “Maybe I’ll just wait here until he finds me. Oh, he’s going to be so mad.” Her eyes glitter. “Don’t you think he’ll be mad?”
“You need to stand up,” I tell her, and pull at her arm. Suddenly I realize that she is the one who is standing. I’m lying in a snowdrift, my hair blowing over my face. I had almost fallen asleep.
“Run,” she says, and Red Mary echoes her. “Run.”
It’s getting dark now. I scramble to my knees and crawl through the snow, not strong enough to run. At least the burning pain of freezing to death makes me think of something other than my bruises.
There’s a light. It’s small and beautiful. I ask the girls if they see it.
“What light?” Black Mary asks, and she falls.
“I’m cold,” Red Mary whispers, and she also falls.
I try to drag Red Mary but I only get a few feet. She’s too heavy. I’m too cold.
“I’ll get help,” I say, but they don’t answer.
The light is coming from a window in a small house on the edge of a field. It looks like it might be painted yellow. I think my mom’s house was yellow.