And even that would change once the Great Malevolence crossed over, for he would bring with him all of his evil power, and this world would be transformed into a new Hell.
In the distance, behind some houses, Nurd could see a haze of blue lightning, and he knew that there lay the portal, the gateway between worlds. It was his way home. He thought almost fondly of Wormwood. Almost. Then he remembered Samuel, and hoped that the boy was safe. He wondered if he should try to look for him, but what could he do if he did find Samuel? Take him back to the Wasteland, even if such a thing were possible? No, Samuel would just have to fend for himself, but the thought of the boy in danger or in pain made Nurd feel guilty and sad.
Nurd left the alleyway and began moving in the direction of the light. He decided that it would be best to stay off the streets, so he climbed a garden wall and used the hedges and bushes for cover, advancing from garden to garden, sticking to the shadows.
He was in his third garden when his skin began to tingle. There was great power nearby. He could sense it. He peered through a gap in a hedge and spied a pair of creatures, one spiderlike, the other a huge toad, scuttling and hopping down the street. He recognized them both.
Nurd sank to the ground and tried to make himself as small as possible. This was grave news. Those two demons were bad enough, but they were merely servants of a greater evil. Where they went a being infinitely worse inevitably followed, a being intimately acquainted with Nurd and his wrongdoings. That being was Ba’al. Ba’al, the Great Malevolence’s trusted lieutenant, the one who had condemned Nurd to eternal banishment, had already crossed over, and Nurd had a pretty good idea of where the senior demon would be.
Ba’al would be waiting at the portal for its master to arrive.
XXIX In Which Nurd Proves to Be Rather Decent, Actually
IT WAS SAMUEL WHO spotted what appeared to be a demon hiding behind the hedge in the front garden. Crouching behind a hedge didn’t seem like very demonic behavior to Samuel, whose experiences of demons until now had shown him that they were variously frightening, puzzling, or, in the case of the one that had briefly occupied the space beneath his bed, simply not very good at their jobs; but so far he had encountered only one that appeared to be cowardly.
“What do you think of that?” Maria asked him, as they stood in the darkened kitchen, watching the demon.
“Maybe it’s planning to jump out at someone,” said Tom.
“It’s a him, not an ‘it,’” said Samuel. “His name is Nurd, and he’s the one who popped up in my bedroom. He’s obviously frightened. You can see that from here.”
“Well, I don’t really fancy asking this Nurd about his problems,” said Tom. “’Excuse me, Mister Demon, is ‘oo frightened? Is ‘oo having a bad day?’ I mean, he’s a demon. He’s supposed to be frightening us. It would have to be something pretty terrible to make a demon tremble.”
They were silent as they considered the implications of what Tom had just said. What could be so frightening that even a demon would be terrified by it? Samuel watched Nurd. He now appeared to be biting his nails nervously. Nurd may have been a demon but Samuel knew that there was some good in him, even if Nurd had wanted to rule the world. Anyway, what was that old saying, something about an enemy’s enemy being your friend…?
He moved to the kitchen door. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“Are you sure about this, Samuel?” asked Mrs. Johnson. Dr. Planck tried to protest, but the others shushed him.
“It’s worth a try. If he looks like he’s about to turn nasty, we can just lock the door again, or Tom can wave his bat at him, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. To be honest, I rather like him.”
Samuel opened the door and put his head to the crack.
“Psssst!”
Nurd, who was already somewhat tense, almost wet himself at the sound. He looked around to see the head of a small boy wearing glasses poking through a gap in a doorway.
“What are you doing in my garden?” said Samuel.
“What does it look like?” replied Nurd. “I’m hiding. Go away, Samuel, it’s dangerous.”
“Why are you hiding? Aren’t they your friends out there?”
“That lot?” said Nurd, gesturing with a big thumb. “They’re no friends of mine. In fact, if some of them found out I was here, I’d be in terrible trouble.”
“Which brings us back to the whole hiding thing,” said Samuel.
“Exactly,” said Nurd.
“Look,” said Samuel, “if we let you hide in here, will you help stop all this?”
Nurd risked another glance through the hedge. He clearly didn’t like what he saw, because he nodded briskly.
“I’ll do my best,” he said. “I really would just like to go home.”
“Well, come on then,” said Samuel. He opened the door wider, and stepped aside as Nurd shuffled across the lawn and shot through the gap. Once the door had closed behind him, Nurd took a relieved breath and looked around. He saw Samuel, looking thoughtful; Tom, holding a bat as though he were aching for an excuse to use it; Maria, who was sucking on a pencil and wrinkling her nose at the faint smell of pond that was coming off Nurd, and, um, was that poo?; and Mrs. Johnson, who was clutching a frying pan determinedly. In one corner of the kitchen a man with a beard was trying to hide under a blanket. Nurd knew exactly how he felt.
“Hello,” said Nurd. “I’m Nurd. Nurd, the Scourge of Five Deities. Actually, just plain old Nurd will be fine. I don’t think I want to be the scourge of deities anymore. If I never see a demonic deity again, it will be too soon. Mind if I get up from the floor?”
The people in the kitchen looked dubiously at him, except for Samuel, who said, “Honestly, everyone, we can trust him.”
Eventually, Tom said, “Okay, but do it slowly.”
Nurd did do it slowly because he had hurt his knee while diving into the kitchen. He took a seat at the table and rested his chin in his hands. He seemed very miserable, and entirely unthreatening. While Samuel and the others watched, a single big tear trickled down one of his cheeks.
“I’m really sorry,” said Nurd, wiping it away in embarrassment. “It’s been a funny old evening.”
Everyone looked sympathetic, even if he was a demon. Mrs. Johnson put down her frying pan and pointed to a kettle that was currently simmering on a camping gas stove.
“Perhaps you’d like a cup of tea?” she said. “Everything feels better after a cup of tea.”
Nurd didn’t know what tea was, but it couldn’t taste any worse than the stuff in the sewer.
“That would be very nice,” he said. “Thank you.”
Mrs. Johnson poured him a cup of strong tea, and added a digestive biscuit to the saucer. Nurd sipped carefully, if noisily, and nibbled at the biscuit. He was pleasantly surprised by both.
“It’s nicer if you dunk it,” said Samuel, demonstrating with his fingers.
Nurd dipped the biscuit into the tea.
“That is good, actually,” he said. He dunked the biscuit a second time, but on this occasion he left it in for too long, and half of it fell into his cup. He looked like he was about to cry again.
“Just my luck,” he said.
“Never mind,” said Mrs. Johnson, rescuing the soggy biscuit with a spoon. “Plenty more where that came from.”
“So,” said Samuel. “Perhaps you could tell us what’s happening.”
“Well, it’s Hell on Earth, isn’t it?” said Nurd. “Gates have opened, demons are pouring out. End of the world, and all that.”
“Can we stop it?”
“Dunno. If you’re going to do something, you’d best do it quickly because this lot are just the advance guard. As soon as the Great Malevolence himself comes through, it’ll be too late. He’ll be too strong for anyone to stop.” Nurd chewed glumly on his second biscuit. “He really isn’t very friendly at all.”