‘I’ll have to write another bloody letter to Captain Pakenham now. Only this time I shall have to humbly ask the man to take his job back. I hope for both our sakes that he doesn’t go off in high dudgeon, broadcasting his shabby treatment to one and all.’ He leaned forward and wagged a finger at Arthur. ‘And I think that you can forget any notion that I will help you find another post in my government. Now get out of my sight,Wesley. I’ve got a letter to write.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Arthur snapped to attention, saluted and then turned and quickly marched out of the office as Lord Camden bellowed for his secretary.
Arthur hurried from the castle and made straight for Russell Square. There was no time to waste. He had to find Kitty and explain the situation before she heard the news from her uncle. When he reached the house Arthur bounded up the stairs, paused to catch his breath, remove his hat and straighten his jacket, and then rapped the gleaming knocker. An elderly servant answered the door, smiling when he recognised the caller, and Arthur felt his spirits rise as he realised that the staff could not have been instructed to cold-shoulder him yet.
‘Is Miss Pakenham at home?’
‘I’m afraid not, sir. She left over an hour ago.’
‘Do you know where she has gone?’
‘Shopping, I would imagine, sir. Miss Pakenham has most likely gone to buy some materials from Thorns, the haberdashers on Fitzroy Street.’
‘Are you sure?’
The servant smiled again. ‘Miss Pakenham is a creature of habit, sir.’
‘Thank you.’ Arthur turned away and descended two steps, then paused and turned back. ‘If she returns before I find her, please tell her that I have something very important to relate to her. I’d be obliged if she stayed here and I’ll come back once I’ve looked for her.’
‘Yes, sir. Any other words you wish me to convey to her?’
‘No. I’ll tell her everything.’
‘Yes, sir.’ The servant nodded and closed the door.
Arthur hurried back into the centre of the city, weaving through the morning shoppers and stepping nimbly round the beggars as he made for Fitzroy Street. He entered Thorns and scoured the store, with no luck. He returned to Russell Square, but she had not yet returned home. In exasperation Arthur left a message requesting Miss Pakenham to send word to his lodgings the moment she got back, so that he might come and speak to her on a matter of great urgency.
Feeling his world tumbling into turmoil around him, he walked slowly home, head down, hands clenched tightly behind his back as he tried to frame the words he would use to attempt to persuade Kitty of his blamelessness in this whole sorry mess. It began to rain, and he realised that he had left his cape at the castle in his haste to find Kitty. By the time he reached his lodgings in Fostertown he was soaked through. The caretaker of the house frowned as he saw Arthur dripping in the hall. He began to speak but Arthur cut him off.‘Earnshaw, how much to draw me a bath?’
‘Cold will cost you threepence, sir. Hot will be sixpence.’
‘I’ll give you a shilling if you can have a hot bath ready within the half-hour.’
‘Yes, sir.’
Arthur started towards the stairs but the caretaker called out to him. ‘Sir!’
‘What is it?’
‘There’s someone waiting to see you, sir. In the parlour.’ The caretaker smiled. ‘A proper lady, sir.’
‘Oh, Christ . . .’Arthur muttered. For an instant he desperately hoped it was a coincidence.Then he cursed himself. Of course it wasn’t. Kitty had already received the news. He stared down at the floor for a moment before he summoned enough resolve to straighten up and walk steadily towards the parlour door. He opened the door and saw Kitty sitting in a chair by the window. Over her shoulder the rain streaked the cheap glass and made the outside world waver indistinctly. She stared at him, lips drawn in a tight line across her ashen face.
‘Hello, Kitty.’ Arthur nearly let himself smile, but stopped just in time. ‘I tried to find—’
‘How dare you?’ she interrupted harshly.
‘Kitty!’ Arthur took a step towards her, and she flinched as before a vile serpent.
‘Stay back, Arthur. I think I should be sick if you came any closer. In all the time I have known you I never once suspected that you could behave in such a low, calculating, ungentlemanly manner.There’s a good man, I told myself. Honest, charming and intelligent. Well, now you’ve made the stupidest, most wretched mistake of your life. To think that I loved you. That I wanted to marry you! The very thought makes my flesh creep. I . . .’ Her head lowered and she angrily cuffed away a tear. But it was not enough to stop the raw emotion pouring from her body and her shoulders shuddered as more tears came.
Arthur looked at her, torn by the desire to go and comfort her, and knowing that she would be repelled by the act. He swallowed nervously. ‘Kitty, let me explain. Please.’
She shook her head violently, quickly brushed her eyes and looked up at him defiantly. ‘What is there to explain, Arthur? I know everything. Most of all, I know how you have betrayed me and my family. I feel like such a fool not to have seen through you.’
‘There is nothing to see through, Kitty. I am the same Arthur as I ever was. The same man you once said you loved.’
‘Don’t you dare say that! You worm.’
‘Let me speak. Hear me out, Kitty.Then you can call me what you will if your heart is still turned against me. But listen to me first.’
She pursed her lips, and glowered at him, red-eyed, and then nodded slowly. ‘Have your say, Arthur, for all the good it might do.’
For the first time that day his heart lightened a fraction, and he drew a breath to calm himself before he told her about his letter to Richard, and its unfortunate consequences.
‘I told Lord Camden that under the circumstances there was no question of my taking the position,’ he concluded. ‘I’ve been looking for you ever since, because I wanted to tell you the truth about it, before you heard what had happened and perhaps misunderstood.’
‘Misunderstood? It’s a bit more serious than that, Arthur.’
‘Don’t you think I know?’ Arthur struck his chest. ‘Kitty, I realise I am within a hair’s breadth of losing the person I love more than any other in this world, but I swear I am telling you the truth. I had no part in this.’ He took a step closer and sank down on to his knees in front of her. ‘I swear I have not done anything to be ashamed of. I have told Camden I cannot take the job and I pleaded with him to return it to your uncle. I have acted as honourably as the situation allowed.’
She stared at him in silence, and he saw the conflicting emotions in her expression. Slowly, he reached for her hand and held it gently. Her lips trembled and she lifted his hand to her cheek and pressed her flesh against his.
‘Oh, Arthur, I want to believe it. Tom said some dreadful things this morning. He had an urgent meeting today. Afterwards I feared he might come to find you, to demand satisfaction.That is why I had to speak to you first.’
‘I’ll have to explain it to him.’
‘Not now. He would as soon shoot you as see you. Let me speak to him first. I’ll send a message when it’s safe to tell him in your own words.’ She released his hand and dried her eyes on the sleeve of her coat. ‘I had better get back. He may be at home and wonder where I have gone.’
Arthur eased himself up on to his feet. ‘Yes, of course. I’ll wait until I hear from you.’
He escorted her to the door, and as they stood on the threshold Arthur held her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. ‘I love you, Kitty. I would never do anything to endanger or dishonour that love.’
She smiled briefly. ‘I know. And I love you. I think I always will.’
Then she turned and hurried away.