"A two-hundred-dollar fine!" Sadie cried.
Eddie shrugged. "I don't make the rules."
Marjorie Binder-Smith was still sputtering. Finally she managed a coherent sentence. "I am going to sue you for slander, Bud Napp. You wait and see!" Then she faced Seymour. "And let's just see where you can park that ice cream truck of yours after the next town council meeting!"
"You leave my ice cream truck out of this!" Seymour shot back.
Bud stepped up to the councilwoman again. "You have more to worry about that an ice cream truck, Marjorie. I've decided. Right here and now-I'm going to run against you in the fall election. You wait and see-"
The woman blinked. "What?"
"I'm going to run against you and I'm going to beat you, too," Bud declared. "And when I take charge, I'm going to teach that band of parasites called a town council that you don't have to stick it to the small-business owners to raise town revenues. Got it?!"
For a moment, it was so quiet you could have heard a gum wrapper drop (which probably would have earned me a second ticket). Marjorie glared at Bud for a good ten seconds but said nothing more to him. Instead, she whirled to face Eddie. "You come with me now. The sidewalk in front of that baker up the street is a mess, and so is the area around your family's pizza kitchen-"
Eddie stopped in his tracks. The councilwoman placed her hands on her hips. "Or you can forget writing tickets, and I'll have a conversation with Chief Ciders about how one of his officers shows favoritism in how he applies the law."
Marjorie spun around and headed for Cooper Family Bakery. Eddie hesitated for a moment-no doubt thinking about his wife and children, and pondering what they'd do if he lost his job.
With an air of defeat, he followed the councilwoman across the street.
"That witch," Sadie hissed, narrowing her eyes at the departing sweater set.
"I prefer vampire," Seymour noted.
I turned to Bud. "Did you mean what you said, Bud? Are you really going to run against Marjorie?"
Bud watched the councilwoman's back, squinting like a sniper taking aim. "You bet I am!"
Sadie exchanged glances with me. "Good!" we both said.
I retrieved the donuts and as Bud locked up his truck, I thanked him again.
"No trouble, Pen. Sure you don't need help getting those things inside?" he asked.
I shook my head. " Seymour will help me."
"Then I'm heading over to the theater." Bud climbed into his truck. "I want to check out the place before Brainert opens for the matinee."
"What are you looking for?" I asked.
Bud's face darkened. "I don't know."
Seconds later, the van's engine roared, and Bud was speeding away. When I returned to the front door, Sadie was fumbling in her pocket for the keys.
"Where were you?" I asked.
"That banner behind the podium kept on falling," Sadie said. "I ran to the office supply store to buy industrial-strength staples."
"That's okay, but you might have missed the delivery of Dr. Lilly's books."
Sadie shook her head. "No chance of that. Dr. Lilly's inside-"
"Then why didn't she answer?" said Seymour. "I pressed the doorbell twice already!" He paused. "Hey, that's funny. I'm the postman. And I rang twice!"
"I pressed it once myself," I told Sadie, ignoring the sound of Seymour laughing at his own joke, "before the councilwoman stopped by to brighten our day."
Sadie turned the key in the handle and pushed the door open.
"I didn't bother with the dead bolt," she said. "Since the store's occupied."
The little bell above the door tinkled as Sadie crossed the threshold. Seymour was next, then me.
"Dr. Lilly?" I called. My voice sounded hollow in the empty shop.
I set the donuts on the check-out counter and Seymour set down the coffee containers, then tugged a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed sweat from his brow.
"I think I deserve a free cup of Joe," he panted. "And another doughnut."
Sadie nodded. "Of course, Seymour. You've been such a great help."
As I entered our bookstore's Community Events room, I noticed how many chairs had been set up and suddenly worried that fifty cups of coffee and forty-eight donuts wouldn't be enough (or rather forty-four, since Bud already had two and Seymour was angling for a second).
Then I moved toward the front of the space, and donuts and coffee became the least of my worries. While we were out, a terrible accident appeared to have taken place. The six-foot stepladder had fallen, obviously slamming against the podium in the center of the low wooden platform that served as our stage.
I rushed forward, seeing the leather sandal on the ground, then the foot it belonged to. Finally my eyes traced the dangling FILM NOIR FESTIVAL banner, mounted on the wall behind the podium, the loose material was stretched taut, still clutched in Dr. Irene Lilly's hand.
I knew the woman was dead without touching her. There was so much blood on the hardwood floor I would have to wade through it to reach the body. And it was clear that Dr. Lilly's head had struck the sharp corner of the low platform. Near the base of her skull, grayish brain matter mingled with the blood that stained her sunshine yellow dress.
"Oh, no. Oh, god… "
Swallowing a scream, I took two steps backward, then ran to the front of the store.
CHAPTER 6. Slip and Fall
That's life. Whichever way you turn, fate sticks out a foot to trip you.
– Detour, 1945
AT SOME POINT during the investigation, Chief Ciders's size-twelve boots tramped through Dr. Lilly's blood. Now everywhere the chief walked his heels left faint, half-moon-shaped trails on the polished, hardwood floor. Objectively, I knew they were just little brownish prints, but whenever I saw those tracks I wanted to scream.
Behind the store's counter, Aunt Sadie blew her nose. "What a terrible, terrible accident."
"At least it was quick," Seymour said, attempting to console her-while simultaneously browsing our New Release table. "It was probably, just, you know. Lights out! Like that final episode of The Sopranos"
Sadie glanced toward the archway leading to the Community Events room and her expression darkened. "They've been in there for over an hour," she said softly. "What are they doing? What are they waiting for?"
For Chief Donut to get a clue, maybe, said Jack, who never was in awe of Chief Ciders's investigative prowess. And if that's the case, it's going to be a long wait.
Officer Franzetti stood near the front door, where the chief had posted him. Overhearing Sadie's question, he cleared his throat. "Actually, Ms. Thornton, I think the chief is waiting for a doctor to get here-a new guy, some expert from Newport named Rubino."
Any warm body would be an improvement over that lamebrain with a badge.
"Easy, Jack," I silently told the ghost.
Dismount off that high horse already, doll. I know for a fact you feel the same way about Ciders.
"The chief means well, Jack."
He threw you in the town jail last year!
"But only for one night-and it was all cleared up the next day."
Sadie blew her nose again. "Who is this doctor, Eddie?"
Officer Franzetti shrugged. "I don't know much. Only what I heard from Bull."
Seymour frowned. "Bull McCoy? He's in there with the chief? How did I miss that no-neck's grand entrance?"
"He came in when you were fetching your mailbag from the trunk of Penelope's car," Sadie informed him.
Seymour faced Eddie. "Then riddle me this, Batman-zetti. How is it that Bull is in there, analyzing the crime scene, and you're out here?"
"Bull is, uh… " Eddie cleared his throat again. "He's the chief's nephew."
"I recall that!" Seymour threw up his hands. "I also remember that lousy sucker punch he gave me last year when I tried to stop him from hauling Pen off to the hoosegow-but he's still a rookie! Not to mention a moron! What's the chief thinking using an experienced senior officer as a doorman?!"