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Sadie noticed the wink, too. She quickly sidled up to me. "Dr. Rubino seems quite nice, don't you think?"

What a stuffed monkey, Jack scoffed. This guy's got Ivy League written all over him, which means you won't be able to tell him a thing. He'll already know it all.

Ignoring Jack, I watched Dr. Rubino cross the sales floor on his way to the Community Events space.

"I'm sure he's married," I quietly told Sadie.

Inside of ten seconds, Sadie was beside Eddie whispering questions. Finally, she came back to me.

"Eddie says he's divorced," she confided, "and that's why he's doing this work for Ciders-and any other townships in the area that need his services. Apparently he used to have a lot of money; now he has a lot less, but who cares about that? I think he's quite a catch."

Go for it, Betty Boop. See if I care.

"Stop it! I'm not interested!"

Sadie frowned and I realized I'd said those words aloud.

"Well, you don't have to decide right now," Sadie replied with a huff. "Give the man a chance to ask you out for coffee!"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm sorry, Aunt Sadie, I didn't intend to say that to you."

"It's all right, dear," she said, patting my shoulder. "We're all a little rattled by Dr. Lilly's fall."

Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. Sadie rearranged books on the film noir display. I moved to the window and watched the crowd thicken outside. The store's opening hour came and went without anyone emerging from the Events room. I wondered if Buy the Book was going to open at all today-though that was probably the least of our worries at this point.

Suddenly Seymour pushed himself out of the wooden rocker. "That's it! I'm out of here," he declared, checking his Wonder Woman watch. "It's after ten, and I've waited long enough for Chief Ciders to take my statement. If Barney Fife needs to reach me, he knows where I'll be-working my route, 'cause the mail is like showbiz. It must go on!"

Officer Franzetti stepped forward. "The chief told me everyone stays here until he takes your statements."

"The chief is a local yokel, Pizza Boy," Seymour shot back. "His authority stretches about as far as Quindicott Pond. The federal government's interest in an efficient mail service supersedes his meager jurisdiction."

Eddie put his hands on his gun belt. "Cut the double talk, Seymour. You're not going anywhere, no matter what you say-"

Seymour flushed crimson. "Listen, Franzetti! Step out of the way and you won't get hurt-"

"All right, all right, what's going on here?" Chief Ciders barked. He tramped into the store with Dr. Rubino and young Bull McCoy in tow.

Yep, quipped Jack. McCoy is Chief Donut's nephew all right. Same sloped brow and slack jaw. Same funny-farm stare, too.

"Look, Chief, I've got a job to do, too," Seymour complained. "Either detain me or let me get back to it."

Ciders nodded to Eddie. "Let the man go. Tarnish has mail to mis-deliver. I'll get his statement later, for what it's worth."

"So, you're finished with your investigation?" Seymour asked as he inched toward the front door.

"The preliminary phase," Ciders replied, giving Seymour his back.

Seymour stopped. "Well?"

Ciders frowned, looked up from the clipboard in his hand. "Don't you have work to do?" Seymour nodded. "Then get the heck out of here!"

Seymour shrugged and opened the door, smacking into the crowd of film festival fans waiting for the store to open. "Clear a path, people! Official government employee coming through!"

"Hey, in there, are you ever going to open?!" someone yelled from the crowd.

Eddie closed the door.

I faced Chief Ciders. "Well? Have you completed your investigation?"

The beefy man sighed. "We're finished. And you can open, once we're sure you're providing a safe working environment. What was this woman, Dr. Lilly, doing on your ladder? Was she a paid employee?"

"She was an academic, a film historian, and an author. She was helping us get ready for her book signing."

"I see," said the chief. "Your store does carry insurance, right?"

"Of course, but why would that matter?"

"Because, Mrs. McClure, you allowed her to climb a ladder unsupervised. That's negligence on your part. Simply put: Dr. Lilly had a fatal accident while working in your store-"

"Accident!" I cried.

I warned you, Jack gloated.

CHAPTER 7. A Doctor in the House

My, my, my. Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains.

– Philip Marlowe, The Big Sleep, 1946

"YES, MRS. MCCLURE, an accident," Chief Ciders reiterated. "Dr. Lilly fell off a ladder-"

"No! She was pushed!" I blurted out.

Bull McCoy snorted. "You were right, Uncle… I mean, Chief. You said she was gonna try and call it murder!"

"Shut up, Bull," Ciders warned.

"How do you know it wasn't murder?" I demanded.

"As I see it, Dr. Lilly tried to fix the banner," Ciders said. "She lost her balance and fell. She died when she slammed her head against the corner of the stage."

"It looks like an accident," I replied, "but that's the diabolical part. Don't you see? Someone attempted to drop a speaker on Dr. Lilly last night-"

"You've got your facts wrong there, Mrs. McClure," said the chief. "Brainert Parker reported to me that it was a former actress-someone named Hedda Geist-who almost got clobbered."

"It was Dr. Lilly who was supposed to be on stage. Hedda was under the speaker when it fell, but she only came up to the stage at the last minute-"

"That's enough, Mrs. McClure," the chief interrupted.

"At least let me finish explaining!"

The chief waved his hand. "What happened at the theater last night was an accident, too, that's all. Clearly the result of faulty construction." Ciders rubbed his fleshy chin. "Makes me wonder if the Movie Town was built to code. Better check in with the Town Council on that one. Marjorie's sure to be interested-"

"Two accidents in two days? One nearly fatal, the other deadly. And both involving the same woman?" I shook my head. "That's too much coincidence for me. And it should be for you, too. I want another official opinion-"

"That's why I'm here, Mrs. McClure," said Dr. Rubino, stepping forward before I could suggest that the state police be called in.

"I thoroughly examined Dr. Lilly's body," Rubino continued. "While I still have to perform an autopsy to be absolutely certain, my preliminary findings confirm Chief Ciders's theory. Dr. Lilly appeared to have died of an injury to the skull. The scene itself makes it clear the injury was inflicted by the edge of your stage. We have a fallen ladder at the scene, and we have a witness in your own aunt, the last person to see the deceased alive. She mentioned to the chief that Dr. Lilly was indeed trying to hang a banner, and wasn't it true that your store was locked from the inside?"

I wanted to scream, but I knew it wouldn't give the man confidence in my sanity.

"Mrs. McClure?" Rubino pressed. "Was the store locked?"

"Yes," I said, clenching my fists. "The store was locked, but Dr. Lilly could have let someone in herself. The dead bolt wasn't thrown, and the killer could have relocked the door simply by setting the handle on lock from the inside and slamming it shut when departing-"

"If I had to render an opinion right now," Dr. Rubino interrupted, "I'd say Dr. Lilly's death was a tragic accident. Nothing more."

"You're wrong."

You tell him, baby!

Dr. Rubino's dark brown eyebrows lifted in absolute surprise. Clearly he was used to having the last word at a crime scene. Having his conclusions so directly and adamantly challenged was an obvious shock. He glanced at Ciders, who shrugged and looked away.

"Mrs. McClure…" The doctor stepped closer. He lowered his voice. " If Dr. Lilly were actually murdered-that is to say, if a person had entered this store and killed her, there would have been clues that I would not have missed."

"Such as?" I folded my arms and tapped my foot.