I waited for the Bishop of Athens to finish a very queer sermon on the text ‘If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.’ As he finally came to a close, and sat down with a look about him as queer as his sermon and a tight clutch at a jewelled relic case, I let a couple of slaves lift my chair a foot back from the table and stood up. There was a massive scraping of chairs and grunting as a hundred diners got to their own feet and went into a long and respectful bow. I motioned with my arms for everyone to be seated — this really wasn’t Constantinople, and the niceties could be overlooked — and stared round the table at which I had to sit, and at the two long tables that ran at right angles along the length of what had once been a magnificent room, and that was now respectably clean.
‘Most learned and reverend Fathers of the Universal Church,’ I began, ‘O men of Athens.’ I’d been working on this speech between bouts of frenzied copulation. It can best be described as a kind of warmed-over Demosthenes, with long allusions to Scripture and the Fathers. It rolled out with an appearance of unprepared fluency, and my only need to think was in choosing where to stop for Martin to put it into Latin for the sake of the Western delegates. It allowed me, while on my feet, to have a good look at everyone. The Athenians were easy. Most of them were town assemblymen, and I’d seen them shuffling twice about Nicephorus. The others I had no idea about — Martin had got all the names out of Nicephorus on our second day — but they looked of much the same quality. Their Greek was better than that of the lower classes, though I soon realised that my speech was still somewhat above their understanding. Nodding in what they thought the appropriate places, they stared back at me with the tight, sweating faces of provincial tradesmen whose uppermost thought is to worry that I might take it into my head to notice their fine clothes and sound the fiscal equivalent of the Last Trump. If any of them might wonder, or might know, the whereabouts of their Count, no one had commented on his absence from the seat beside mine, and I’d not trouble myself with commenting.
The clerics were a different matter. Again, Martin had got their names out of Nicephorus. Comparing that list with the one supplied from Constantinople showed a few and sometimes odd alterations. But the world is a big place. People die, or move on. Others come to notice. Overall, though, much as I hated the flabby eunuch, the correspondence of the names on both lists showed a very brisk efficiency in Ludinus — all the more admirable, given how quickly the council had been arranged. What struck me most on looking about, however, was what a strange gathering they were. It’s one thing to look at names on a list, and when you have other things uppermost in your mind. It’s another to look at actual faces. I’d been calling these people the ‘best minds’ of the Church and trying to believe it. Some of them were remarkably fine theologians: when they did speak as one, it might well be for the Church as a whole. What bound the Greeks most together, though, was that they were nearly all prize troublemakers of one kind or another. Simeon — well, Simeon was Simeon. But Ajax, deacon in the Metropolitan Church of Aphrodisias; Soterius, thrice enthroned and twice removed Bishop of Nicopolis; Creon, Bishop of Saranta; and so on and so forth: this was as rich a cast of nit-picking fanatics, drunks, fornicators, office-peddlers and general villains as could ever be assembled.
As for the Westerners, I knew very few of them even by name. But the Dispensator was enough trouble in himself for the lot of them. Ludinus was too far away to be pulling any actual strings. But it wasn’t hard to imagine how he’d be sniggering every night into his pillows as he thought of the mob he’d called together for me to try somehow to whip into the right order. Yes, intellectually — and, where not that, socially — this was the Church in miniature. But what I’d thought the previous day about herding cats would apply in force to this lot.
I ended with a fancy peroration cribbed from a speech I’d written for the Emperor at a banquet in honour of the goldsmiths of Constantinople, and sat down to a few desultory acclamations. ‘I want beer,’ I muttered in Slavic to one of my attendants. ‘Bring it in the biggest cup the Lady Irene can find.’
I held up my hands for wiping by the slave who stood behind me, and smiled at the Dispensator. I’d had Simeon placed on my left, with Priscus next to him. It was turning out rather convenient that neither Simeon nor the Dispensator spoke a language the other could understand, and that, with no interpreters present, all conversation had to pass through me. In the intervals of a long and mind-rottingly dull argument with his cousin about a stolen pomegranate when they were at school together, Simeon had tried a few stilted pleasantries with the Dispensator. I’d touched these up in Latin till they could have served as the flattery of someone fishing for a legacy.
The wine was still putrid — better had been located, though not in time for the lees to settle — but, if they had spoiled the grain harvest, the endless rains of summer had given us a fine choice of fruit juices in which to dissolve whatever drugs took most fancy. I waited for the slave to finish with my hands, and reached for my cup of honeyed melon pulp.
‘It is often sad news that friends must exchange after so long apart,’ I said in what might have passed for a mournful tone. ‘If the Gospels report that he frequently wept,’ the Dispensator had told me near the beginning of our acquaintance in Rome, ‘Our Lord never once laughed.’ Whatever was in his lemon juice was now testing this imitation of Christ to the limit. Still glowing with the holiness and excitement of the day, he was far into the news from Rome. The last plague had run a scythe through the upper reaches of the Church there; and, if one or two of those carried off were to be regretted, we could both privately admit that the others wouldn’t much be missed. The Dispensator took a long and diplomatic swig from his cup. I looked across to where Martin was getting ready to start another of his readings. Above us, I heard the scrape of a vast chandelier pulled up again. It was loaded with candles all of the finest local beeswax, and it cast a gentle glow over the company.
‘I’m just a rough military man, as you know,’ I now heard Priscus say quietly to Simeon. ‘The councils of the Church are quite beyond my understanding. But I have picked up a little Scripture in my time. Doesn’t Matthew report Our Lord as having said: “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven”? Something I don’t quite understand is how this statement can be reconciled with any hypothesis that, while Christ has two Natures, he has only a single Will.’
He caught my scowl and raised his voice. ‘Can you explain this, My Lord Senator?’ he asked with a devout raising of eyes to Heaven. ‘I do know the further text from John: “Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.” This shows a uniformity of Will. But does it show any singularity?’ he asked with another pious raising of eyes.
‘If you don’t shut up at once,’ I answered in Slavic, ‘I’ll have my slaves put you in chains, and I’ll take a chance with the Emperor.’
He grinned and carried on in Greek. ‘A most complete and elegant response!’ he cried. ‘A shame, though, you choose not to give it in either Imperial language. Of course, Scripture itself can only be understood as interpreted by the infallible councils of the Church, and who am I to venture into such complex areas?’