A few days after the oberinspektor’s return, I brought dinner up to his office so we could continue working through the backlog that had accumulated in his absence.
‘How did you go with your family?’ I asked.
‘Eva’s got so big and Walter isn’t a baby any more. He’s nearly ready for school,’ he said, pen poised over paper and sighing deeply. ‘I hadn’t seen them for over a year.’
‘Your daughter, how is she now?’
‘Thank God, she’s fine now. She’s nothing but skin and bone but that will improve as she begins to eat more. Inga, my wife, has extra rations for her, to build up her health. She gets tired very easily still so the doctor says it may be a month or two until she’s strong enough to travel.’
‘Couldn’t you bring them back to München?’ It was obvious that he missed his children. He should be able to be with them more. I wished I could tell him that they could stay with my parents and me but that was no longer possible.
‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘There’s nowhere to stay here. I couldn’t afford the rent even if there was anything available and I don’t know if I’ll be posted somewhere else. We’ve a plan for them to go to Inga’s cousin in Berlin. She’ll have support there and they should be safe.’
‘I’m glad she’s better. It sounds like you have it all worked out.’
‘I’m sorry about Heinrich. I know you’re worried about him. As long as you keep receiving letters from him—’
I grasped his hand, wanting him to stop. ‘Yes, I know.’ The words caught in my throat and my meal blurred in front of me as I willed tears away. I looked up at him as a tear escaped from my control, sliding slowly down my face, and I let go of his hand.
He didn’t give me empty words of assurance, merely rubbed his thumb gently across my cheek, wiping away my tear.
‘Eat up before it gets cold,’ he said softly.
It was from my mother that I learnt of the Americans reaching the German border, just outside Trier. My grandmother had called her before pandemonium broke out. She and my grandfather planned to stay in Trier and weather the storm. There was nowhere they could go anyway, with rail services disrupted and roads closed. Mutti was upset but matter of fact about it. They had all been through this once before. I was angry. My grandparents were elderly and didn’t deserve to go through a trauma like this. They lived peacefully in their home and had done nothing wrong.
The reality was that Germany could fall, invaded by the Allies and the Russians. All we could hope for was that the Americans reached us before the Russians; we had heard terrible stories of what the Russians were capable of. Perhaps our only hope was the release of the new aircraft we had been waiting for. Of course, the greatest problem was finding fuel, as we no longer had any access to the oil fields of the Crimea and our synthetic fuel plants were a major target of the American and British bombing raids.
My impotent rage made no difference to anyone. I decided to channel my fear for Heinrich and my grandparents and my deep anger into my work, working harder and longer than ever.
Everything now seemed to move at a rapid pace. Due to the changing structure within high command, all units were in flux, assuming new roles and moving locations. Our sphere of influence was shrinking. Many units were called back to Germany for the Defence of the Reich, but not Heinrich’s. A new army of youth and the elderly was created, the Volkssturm, charged with defending our homeland. Herr Schmitt came to tell us he had been conscripted, as had his grandson. I stared at him in shock. How had we been reduced to seeking protection from such an inappropriate, untrained force? Tears welled in my eyes as I hugged Herr Schmitt goodbye, adding another good man and his grandson to my nightly prayers.
Many in the Luftwaffe now pinned their hopes on the new generation of aircraft that was rolling off the production lines, finally ready for mass release. We were very excited to have the lion’s share of these aircraft in our district, along with the prestigious team of aces to pilot them. All aircraft were prepared for a large scale offensive against the West.
Our work was frantic and I accompanied the oberinspektor to the various airfields. With his expertise in aeronautic engineering and the new jet engines, he took a more hands-on role, liaising with local command to determine the needs of each airfield in relation to the new aircraft. We spent a lot of time at Neubiberg, just south of München, where a large contingent of the Me 262 fighter jets was to be based. We also travelled to Riem, Schleissheim and Erding, and the large airpark at Illesheim, west of Nürnberg, where much of the area’s airfields’ refitting, conversions and repairs took place. Sometimes it meant staying in the airfield barracks overnight, much to my mother’s objections, although Vati assured her I was safe.
Moves were made to relocate our regional command office. We had to remain operational but it was risky to stay in the centre of München with the continuous bombing raids. So, when we weren’t in the field, we were reorganising our office, getting ready for the move. With the restructuring of roles came a promotion for the oberinspektor. There was no time for ceremony, just an official letter stating his new rank of hauptinspektor along with the new duties he had already undertaken. Hauptinspektor Drescher was now directly answerable to Colonel von Wissenbach, and as I remained his secretary, Bettina and I often worked closely together.
‘I can’t believe he’s not celebrating. Promotions like this don’t come every day,’ said Bettina when I told her the good news, walking to the Englischer Garten for a few minutes of fresh air.
I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Work’s too busy to celebrate.’ As we stood waiting to cross Prinzregentenstrasse, a sleek black Mercedes-Benz drove past flying a swastika. It was a sight we saw most days, the to and fro of party and government officials becoming more frantic with the escalation of the war. An old man leered at us from inside the car. Bettina and I stepped back from the kerb in response, grimacing in distaste before darting across the busy boulevard and laughing.
‘I think he’s the quiet type anyway,’ I said, finishing my thought as we entered the park.
Bettina laughed. ‘Quiet? That’s not what I heard. Although, he has settled considerably since you’ve arrived.’ She looked at me speculatively, her eyes questioning.
‘What?’ I stopped under a maple tree, its leaves a golden yellow.
‘Maybe he’ll celebrate with you… It could be you’re a good influence on him.’
‘Don’t be silly. He’s just professional. I wouldn’t expect anything else from someone in his position.’
‘I don’t know,’ Bettina persisted, taking the rare opportunity to tease me.
I started walking again. ‘Look, I know what you heard, but I don’t think he’s really like that. From what I’ve gathered, he’s hit a bad patch in his marriage. I don’t think he was on good terms with his wife when he left for his job here in München.’
‘Mmm, maybe. But I still think it’s because of you.’
I could feel my face go red. ‘It’s just that I work hard and make his job easier. Besides, I’ve spent quite a lot of time with him out of the office now, travelling to the airfields, and he has never been anything but respectful, courteous and reserved.’
‘All right,’ said Bettina, holding up her hands. ‘See if you can persuade him to celebrate this evening. I’m sure we can find something special from the staff kitchen, and I know where we can find some champagne. Otherwise, we’ll celebrate the fact that you and I will be working a lot more with the girls anyway.’
‘I’ll try to persuade him but I don’t like our chances.’
To my surprise, it didn’t take too much to make the hauptinspektor stay. He was working anyway, so we just brought the party to him. When it became known that there was food and drink, many of our department staff joined us. Even Colonel von Wissenbach stopped by for a drink and to pass on his congratulations. Bettina didn’t just find a bottle or two of champagne, but a whole case. I don’t know how she did it, she wouldn’t tell me. It was wonderful to laugh and relax for a change and to see the sociable side of those we worked with.