He didn’t know how dreadfully afraid he had been until she said that Anne was safe. He didn’t know how much his face gave away. He had to hear it again, to have it underlined.
‘Where is she?’
‘I do not think that I can tell you that. She is with the cousin of a girl whom I was able to help-a very nice steady person. She is quite safe, Mr Fancourt. You may be perfectly sure of that.’
‘You won’t tell me where she is?’
Miss Silver laid down her knitting.
‘I can make allowances for your impatience, but I will ask you to consider the circumstances. At the present moment Anne’s desire is to be left alone. She is perfectly safe, and you will do well to have regard to her wishes.’
He bit his lip.
‘That is all very well-’
‘Yes, I think that it is. I think that you will achieve more by giving her a little time to, shall we say, miss you.’
‘Do you think she will?’
‘I think so, if you do not alarm her by trying to force a decision upon her before she is prepared to make one.’
‘What decision do you mean?’
‘Think for a minute, Mr Fancourt. Anne is not your wife- that has become quite clear.’
‘I never said she was.’
‘No. But with her memory gone, and in your absence, she was presented to your family in that light. Then you arrived, and I suppose that was a shock to her.’
‘I suppose it was.’
They were both talking so seriously that to neither of them did it seem at all strange that it should be put like that. Miss Silver leaned forward.
‘Do you not see, Mr Fancourt, how it was? I do not know what your feelings were for the poor girl who was murdered. I do not know whether the form of marriage you went through with her would have held water. But all that is now beside the point. I think you must see that Anne will need a little time to think before any decision is taken as to your relationship. She is in the position of having no past. I do not think that she can decide upon her future until she knows what that past may have been. The best thing for her, and the thing most likely to clear up her thoughts, is a period of rest. What she needs is a time when nothing happens, a time in which she can feel secure and, if it works out that way, regain her memory.’
‘Yes-yes, I can see that. But she’ll need money. Will you see that she has what she wants? I’ll give you a cheque. Will fifty pounds be all right?’
‘Yes, Mr Fancourt.’
‘Couldn’t you tell me where she is?’
She smiled.
‘I think it will be better if I do not.’
He leaned forward and took her hands. His were hard and strong, but she felt them tremble.
‘If I say I won’t see her-I won’t go near her-’
‘Do you think you could really keep to that?’
He said, ‘I don’t know. I suppose I couldn’t, but I would try.’
Miss Silver looked at him with a great degree of kindness. She said, ‘Let it alone for a little, Mr Fancourt. It will be better that way.’
CHAPTER 33
Having let go, it is always difficult to take things up again. Anne had let go. She felt that way about it. It was as if she had been climbing a very steep hill, the sort of hill that it takes every atom of your strength to climb, and then quite suddenly she had come out upon a flat, easy place where she could stop and rest. A week went by. She did not know that a process of healing was going on. She did not see, as Janet saw, that there was a change in her-colour coming back to her cheeks and light to her eyes.
She woke up suddenly after a week to think about how much money she had. She came down to breakfast with a troubled look, and was glad to find Janet alone.
‘I must get something to do.’
‘There’s no hurry.’
‘Oh, but there is. I must get a job. I haven’t much money.’
Janet hesitated.
‘You’ve got plenty for the present. I shouldn’t be in a hurry.’
Anne looked at her in a distressed way.
‘You’re so good to me. But don’t you see I can’t go on taking it? You don’t know anything about me, and if you let a room you’ve a right to be paid for it, and-and I ought to be earning something.’
Janet went on putting out the breakfast things. She didn’t want to tell her, but she would have to. She hoped Anne wasn’t going to mind. She said, ‘You needn’t worry about the money.’
Anne was looking at her with wide, distressed eyes.
‘You’re so good-but I must.’
Janet stood there with the teapot in her hand.
‘You know you spoke about Miss Silver-I told her you had come to me.’
The blood ran up to the roots of Anne’s hair and then down again. She looked as if she was going to faint. Janet put her in a chair and pulled up one beside her. She had been talking for some time before what she said came through to Anne.
‘-fifty pounds. Have you got that? You don’t look as if you had.’
Anne said, ‘No-no-’
‘Yes,’ said Janet firmly, ‘there’s fifty pounds for you.’
Anne came back slowly. Janet was sitting beside her, holding her hand.
‘Miss Silver sent me fifty pounds, and it was for you.’
The colour came into Anne’s face again.
‘He-he mustn’t,’ she said.
‘What do you mean?’
Anne’s hand went out.
‘It’s from Jim. He mustn’t-’
‘Why?’
Anne was shaking.
‘He-he mustn’t. I don’t want him to.’
Janet was frowning.
‘Look here, Anne, I do think you’ve got to be helped just now. Miss Silver says he’s in a dreadful state about you.’
‘Is he?’
‘She says he is. Look here, if Miss Silver says it’s all right for you to take the money you really needn’t worry. She’s like all the maiden aunts in the world. If she says it’s all right, then it is, and that’s that.’
‘Does she say it’s all right?’
‘She wouldn’t send it on if she didn’t think so.’
Anne woke up to the fact that she was talking about Jim, and-did Janet know anything about Jim? If she did, it wasn’t Anne who had told her. Jim had been in her mind, in her thoughts, but she had never mentioned his name until now. She said, ‘Who told you about Jim?’
‘Miss Silver thought I knew.’
‘You’ve seen her?’
‘Yes, I have. That’s when she gave me the money. She said it would be kind to take it because he was in such a state about you. You can pay it back, you know.’
Anne said slowly, ‘Yes-I can pay it back-’ And then Lizabet came in and there was no more private talk.
The letter from Jim came next morning. She didn’t know it was from Jim at first, because it was enclosed in one from Miss Silver. She read Miss Silver’s first.
My dear Anne,
I am very glad to have news of you, and to know that you are safe. Mr Fancourt has been in a great state about you. I have told him that he must wait until it is your wish to see him. Do not keep him too long, my dear. He is very much concerned for you, and quite trustworthy.
With affectionate regards,
Yours, Maud Silver.
Anne looked up from the neat handwriting to the enclosure, which wasn’t neat at all. Something of the desperation in his mind came across to her as she looked at the envelope with the name that wasn’t hers scrawled across it-Mrs Fancourt. That touched her. Suddenly and unexpectedly it touched her. She was trying to break away, and it was just as if he had put out a hand and caught at her to make her stay. She took the letter, ran up to her room with it, and locked the door. And even then she couldn’t open it or read it for a long, long time. She wanted to, and she was afraid. She wanted to with all her heart, and just because she wanted to so much she was more afraid than she had ever been about anything.
When at last she moved, it was with a strong effort. She tore the envelope, and out came the package of sheets which were inside.