He won't be around forever, you know, and once he's dead, that's it.
Just like my mother, Kat said.
Rita turned down the street where she'd lived as long as Kat could remember. Come grab one of the boxes, she told Kat.
The moment she stepped inside Rita's foyer, Kat became nauseous.
Something about the smell of the home caused Kat's throat to tighten and her stomach to cramp. She felt panicky. Rita looked at her like she was crazy, so Kat picked up a carton and carried it to the trunk, talking sense to herself, recalling how she'd read somewhere that smell was the most primitive sense, hardwired to the brain's memory center. Kat got another box and repeated the process, and this time the sensation hit her even more strongly. Thankfully, Rita carried the last box.
When they were back in the car, Rita looked at Kat and asked, Is something wrong?
No more than usual, Kat answered.
Well then, do you remember Joanna Loveless? She was a year ahead of you, I think.
I guess.
She's the editor of the local paper now, and she inquired whether you might agree to be interviewed for a holiday feature articlea kind of a homecoming thing.
Ugh.
That's what I told her you'd say.
Rita pulled up in front of the bungalow on Laurel Lane, which made Kat laugh.
I didn't tell you where I was living.
You didn't have to.
Rita waited in the car, staring out the window at something way down the street that must have been fascinating while Kat carried the boxes inside, one by one. /Cold, cold, cold/. That was all Kat could think as she moved the cartons. It was more than a word, though. It was an image, a feeling, and it wasn't just about her aunt's lovely personality. The feeling was so severe that there wasn't room in Kat's senses for anything else but all that freezing /cold/.
Rita drove away with a casual wave and Kat entered her own comfortable retreat. That's when it dawned on herit was a taste she was remembering, not a smell, and it was steadily rising from the depths of her childhood and placing itself right on her tongue.
Kat felt heavy and weak. When the front door opened, she didn't have the energy to look up to see who it was.
When you shell out for premium leather furniture, you don't have to sit on the floor anymore, hon. Nola breezed in. And I thought we finished unpacking a long time ago. Did you find more boxes?
Kat felt awareness returning to her body. She was in the middle of her living room floor, sitting cross-legged on the new rug, with her left foot asleep. She still had her coat on. She looked up at Nola.
Oh my God! What's wrong? Nola collapsed down on her knees in front of Kat. Darlin', are you all right? What happened? Are you hurt? You've been crying. Nola touched Kat's cheek, then the wet lapel of Kat's corduroy jacket. I'm calling Riley.
No. Kat's eyes began to focus. She must really be in bad shape if Nola looked that horrified. I'm OK.
Nola unbuttoned Kat's jacket and peeled it off her arms. She hoisted her up and got her to lie on the couch. I'll heat some water for tea. Stay right there. Don't move.
All this hullabaloo was about ice cream, for God's sakehomemade peach ice cream. Kat slapped her own cheeks. What kind of woman had to lie down on the couch to recover from thinking of peach ice cream? At least it now made sense why Kat had hated the taste and smell of peaches her whole life. Funny how those things worked.
Nola returned, moving Kat's legs so she could sit down next to her.
Riley's on his way.
Kat shut her eyes and groaned. That wasn't necessary.
What's going on, hon? Nola reached out and moved a strand of hair back from Kat's face. You didn't go see Virgil, did you?
Kat shook her head. His sister.
That trifling principal bitch.
Kat laughed, reaching to touch Nola's arm. Thanks for having my back.
Always.
So how did the interview go? Kat knew that Nola had interviewed for a job as a paralegal at the town's only lawyer's office.
I got it, of course. Where are they gonna find someone like me all the way out here? A grin spread over Nola's face. And Matt's going to be thrilled.
Kat sat up slowly, feeling a little better, and not wanting Riley to walk in and find her stretched out like an invalid. That's great news, Nola.
So what happened with your aunt?
Kat shook her head. I feel ridiculous. All I do is whine to you and Riley about all this stuff about my past, and I'm sure you're both sick of it by now.
Nope. Nola stroked Kat's arm. Coming back here is just flogging your memory is all. It's perfectly natural.
Kat smiled. Her friend might have chosen the wrong word, but she had the right ideaKat's brain did feel like it was being flogged. Thanks, she told Nola.
Now spill it. What did you remember? More about the sculpture? Your mom?
Kat folded her hands in her lap and decided she'd just tell it straight and get it over with. It was such a stupid thing, really.
I was at my aunt Rita's for some kind of summer picnic. I think I was about seven. I kept asking my dad when I could have some ice creamsomebody had churned a big batch of peach ice cream. Kat took a moment to steady herself. My dad told me I had to wait until he said it was time, but I just kept bugging him.
I think I remember this.
Kat jolted at the sound of Riley's voice. He stood in the entrance to the living room looking handsome and worried. His hands were dug deep into his pockets.
Do you? Kat asked.
Parts of it, anyway. It was your mom's birthday.
Seriously? Kat had tried to extract that particular detail but couldn't.
My mom was the one in charge of the ice cream, Riley said. Big Daddy was there and Matt was just a toddler running around. Riley walked into the room, stepped over the boxes, and sat on the couch on the other side of Kat. He took one of her hands and Nola took the other.
Kat had to laugh. This is not a huge deal, guys. Really. I'm not going to need to be resuscitated or anything. They didn't budge.
Tell us what happened next, Kat. Riley's voice was particularly gentle.
You probably already know.
Tell it anyway.
Kat took a breath. My mom told him not to be so hard on me, that the other kids were getting their ice cream, so I shouldn't have to wait.
Riley nodded.
Virgil was drunk. He started yelling at my mom. Kat's blood began to pound and black spots jumped in her vision, and she found it annoying that her body considered this so much more frightening than her common sense did. I remember being ashamed. I don't remember exactly what my dad said, but I couldn't believe he would talk to my mom like that in front of people, because I thought it was only supposed to happen at home.
I know exactly what he said. Riley put an arm around her shoulders. Can I tell you what I remember from that day?
Kat nodded.
Virgil told your mother she was stupid and that she had no right to question how he raised you.
Kat stared at Riley. Oh my God. You're right. That's what he said!
What a prick, Nola contributed. She gave Kat's hand a firm squeeze. What happened next?
Well, this is where it gets really weird. Kat paused, telling herself that she'd get through the rest without stopping. The next thing I know, my dad's got me in his lap and I'm looking straight up at the clouds, and there is this sudden pain in my throat, and I tried to scream, but no sound would come out because… because… Kat choked on the words.
You can do this, Riley whispered to her, holding her tightly around the shoulders. He can't hurt you now.
Kat clung to the cadence of Riley's words and the safety of his arms around her. She told herself he was rightshe could do this. Her entire body began to shake.
That fucker shoved a big spoon of ice cream down my throat and told me to enjoy it because it was the last ice cream I'd ever get! It hurt so much! He hurt me! It was freezing cold and sharp inside my throat and I couldn't… I couldn't breatheI couldn't /breathe/! Oh God! Why did he have to be so mean all the time?