I take a moment to organize my thoughts and worries.
“I don’t want to stay with you on the road,” I whisper. “I’ll travel until we have kids, but after that I’m done. I want lots of kids, Neil. That is the only thing I’ve ever been certain of. I want kids.”
He starts plucking hairs from my face and brushing them back. “Then you won’t travel with me if we have kids and I won’t ask you to.”
I bite my lower lip. “I want to have a family. That is the most important thing to me. More than anything else, that’s what I want.”
He takes my face in his palms. “So do I, Chrissie. I want it with you.”
We are both quiet, pensive for a while. I’m sprawled on his chest, Neil gently caressing my back.
“Are you saying yes?” Neil asks.
I lift my chin to look at him. “I’m not saying maybe anymore, Neil. I’m saying someday instead.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
April 1994
I slouched down on my lounger, curling on my side and hugging the cushion for dear life. I haven’t enough strength to manage even a slightly presentable posture.
Fuck it, who cares here?
Nicole laughs. “You’re too young to be so tired.”
I frown. “It’s four in the morning. It’s perfectly normal to be tired.”
“Not here, love.”
I stare out across the pool on the rooftop patio. It’s packed with people laughing, drinking, and celebrating. Last show on the road done, a packed house at the LA Forum. Everyone tore it up on stage. God, Neil was incredible, even though when we arrived in California yesterday he looked like a limp dog on his last leg.
We slept fifteen hours straight, but when he woke, Neil was supercharged, amped and ready to go crazy on stage. Last hop. They all are letting loose tonight. The party started the second we returned to the hotel after the concert.
I stare. “I don’t know how they all keep going. I wanted bed two hours ago.”
“Testosterone.” Nicole’s eyes fix on Neil, surrounded by people and still going strong. Her expression changes and is mildly wistful. “If I had that kid I’d want my bed, too.”
I blush and Nicole laughs.
Her gaze shifts to Delmo and she makes a face. “Regrettably, I have that. I’m staying on the roof until they boot me out of here.”
I laugh faintly. “You’re impossible. You and Delmo deserve each other.”
“That we do.”
My eyelids start to drift. Nicole’s laughter causes me to open them again.
She smiles. “We survived ten months on the road with Vinny and all we got is this lousy party and cheap booze on the roof of the West Hollywood Hilton. Damn man loves this place. Loves the nostalgia. Personally, I think it’s so he can slip away at night, party and partake of the scenery.”
I roll my eyes “He does not. Vincent wouldn’t do that to you. You can’t mess with me any longer. The man adores you. You adore him. Bicker. Bicker. Absolutely nonsense.”
She scrunches up her nose. “Sad, but true.” Her gaze shifts to me. “So where do you and the kid go now?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.” And I don’t, and it doesn’t bother me in the least. The tour is over, and I’m starting a new road with Neil. I don’t know what it is, but we’re doing it together and that’s enough.
Nicole studies my face and her relentlessly bitchy expression softens. “I can tell you one thing, Delmo is glad he’s not following the kid on stage anymore. The kid just keeps growing and growing each show. He’s on his way.” She grimaces. “Unfortunately, wherever you go it’s going to look like this.”
I laugh. “I hope not.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile.
I push the wayward hairs from my face and my gaze locks on Delmo cross the party to us.
He sinks down behind me on the chaise without asking, his legs on either side of me, and surrounds me in a sloppy hug complete with overly wet smacking kiss on my cheek.
He rocks us side to side. “Nancy Drew, I’m going to miss you.”
I try to wiggle out of his hold and then stop. “Don’t tell anyone I said this. They’re all too drunk to remember if they hear me, and if you repeat it, I’ll call you a liar, but I’m going to miss you, too.”
Vincent laughs. “You break my heart, love, but I love you anyway.”
He settles back against the cushion, taking me with him.
“Ah, will you look at this. We’re too fucking old for this, Nicky.”
“Speak for yourself, old man,” she taunts.
I laugh.
Vincent’s face appears over my shoulder. “You’re not going to have to miss me long, Chrissie. You’ll get to see me again Saturday, and I have another shot at convincing you to run away with me. But if you reject me again, it will be back to missing me because we’re off to Europe next.”
My eyes widen, surprised. “You’re going to Jack’s party?”
“Of course. Take a phone call from Jack anywhere you are. If Jack sends you an invite to the annual foundation fundraiser, you put on your best clothes and grab your checkbook. That’s how it is with your dad, love. We’re going to Santa Barbara.”
I smile, then droop and close my eyes again.
“Hey, asshole, that’s my girlfriend.” I hear Neil’s voice booming from across the party. I open my eyes to find him staring but smiling. “Let her go.”
Out of my peripheral vision I see Vincent bobbing a thumb toward Nicole. “Take my girlfriend, mate, and we can call it even.”
As exhausted as I am, I laugh and manage to avoid Nicole’s clumsy swat at Vincent’s chest. Jeez, I shouldn’t be attempting laughter and I start drifting into sleep.
“Let’s go, Chrissie.”
When I open my eyes, Neil is standing beside the chaise, staring down at me.
I nod and then frown. “I don’t think I can walk. I’m exhausted.”
Neil scoops me out of Delmo’s clutches and soon I’m held against his chest, legs and arms wrapped around him, my cheek resting on his shoulder.
He carries me into the hallway toward the elevator.
“We don’t have to be in Santa Barbara for two days,” he says, struggling to hit the call button with his elbow. “Nate wants to go La Jolla. Hang out. Surf for a day. What do you think of that?”
My head moves limply on his shoulder. “I don’t care.”
He steps into the elevator and maneuvers again to hit the number for our floor. He starts trailing light kisses across my face.
He laughs. “You’re a mess, Chrissie. Are you drunk? You’re not even being a pain tonight.”
I adjust to look at him. “Nope. Not drunk. Don’t want to be a pain. I sort of like you tonight.”
His kiss moves lightly and stirringly against my lips. “Do you love me tonight?” He starts kissing my neck. “Why don’t you do all those incredible things to me you do when you’re feeling loving.”
I roll my eyes. “Not a chance. If you wanted that you shouldn’t have held me hostage at that party for four hours. You missed it. That feeling is gone. Be happy I still like you.”
He makes a slight, upside down smile. “No?”
I lay my cheek back against him. “No.”
“That was definitely decisive. I don’t know if I like decisive Chrissie yet.”
I laugh weakly. I can tell by his voice he’s frowning and only half-joking.
We make the short walk from the elevator to the room. Somehow Neil manages to continue to hold me and get the door open.
He sets me on the bed, and moves around the room, undressing. My half-closed eyes stay glued on him. Naked, he returns to the bed, eases me over on my back and starts undressing me.
“I don’t want sex,” I whisper. “I want sleep.”
He settles on the bed close to me, kissing me everywhere, touching me everywhere, and the tingling starts and my muscles pulse there. He moves his body until he is hovering above me, arms on each side of me, his kisses roaming from my breast to my belly and then lower. I feel warm breath and then his lips there and the feel of him shoots through me.