I was thrown into the van. The last glimpse I got Joaquin was trying to handle a corgi retriever mix while it barked and jumped up and down.
One gunman drove while the other sat next to me.
“Funny story,” I said casually. “I’ve actually met Darren Warren. He ate my ex-boyfriend. And it wasn’t that long ago.”
Neither of them seemed interested in hearing the remainder of that story, so we rode the rest of the way in silence. I stared out the window, alternating feelings between fear and hopelessness.
We drove to a house up in the hills that had been boarded up, like every other house so far, but this one was still in decent shape. When we arrived, the gunman escorted me inside into what was once a living room with a floral border print around the walls. The only piece of furniture was an overstuffed recliner with branches and twigs sticking out of it, making for somewhat of a weirdly makeshift throne.
My captors held me up as one of them stuck duct tape over my mouth. Darren entered, wearing a deep blue thick robe with a cute bulldog embroidered over the front pocket.
“And what have my friends brought me today?” he asked. “Is this the exchange we had prepared with my Costco warlord friend?”
I moved every muscle around my mouth to loosen the tape. Once I’d lifted it over my lips, I worked more frantically to tear it off until one side just hung off part of my cheek, gently tickling it.
“Robert’s a warlord?” I asked as I jerked my head to the side, hoping to get that piece of tape to fall off. “Someone get that put on his business card. Or better yet, update his LinkedIn profile.”
“He is a wise man,” he said. “He teaches that you motivate by lowering the bar of happiness.”
They shoved me forward as Darren stared me up and down. The tape fell off as I stepped forward and I accidently stepped on it.
“Well,” he said. “Someone’s beauty regiment doesn’t agree with an Apocalypse, now do they?” He laughed at his own joke. “Back when I wrote theater criticisms, I remember one actress, seven-year-old Abigail Williams, trying to play Annie, but her orphan exterior could never belie her spoiled twenty first century luxuries that she was used to.”
My foot stuck to the carpet as tape ground in deeper to the floor. I went to bend down, hoping to pick it off but one of Darren’s henchmen jerked me back up.
“You are just a fake orphan still expecting people to hand things out to you,” he said. “So you might wonder why I’ve been looking for you.”
“Mr. Warren?” I asked while pursing my stinging lips. “Perhaps you don’t remember, but when we met a few months ago, you ate my boyfriend. I just ask that you don’t eat me.”
He squinted as if trying to remember. “I do.” He smiled. “We don’t let those come and enjoy our community, then run away. So congratulations for getting around so much. Most people haven’t been so lucky.”
“You’ve moved up from a trailer,” I said nervously. “This seems nice.”
“Thank you,” he said, sighing heavily. “It hasn’t been easy. Good help is always so hard to find. We travel from place to place, sad quarantines, tenements, houses crammed with people with no way of surviving. I do those a favor because, what else are they going to do in this existence?”
He gestured to a group of people, mostly dirty-looking women who were crouched in the doorway, trying to get a good look at everything going on.
“Did I tell you to gawk and stare?” he shouted. “Go! Work! Earn your survival so I’m not tempted to serve as part of our Sunday feast!”
“Sunday feast?” I asked. “Should I assume that we’re all still really into eating people?”
“Like you’re going to trust what’s currently in the meat of cows and pigs,” he scoffed as he walked toward his chair. “So many chemicals nowadays. There were before, but you don’t know what surviving livestock has been eating or put through.”
I nodded. I smiled as I rolled my foot to the side finally dislodging that awful piece of duct tape. “I guess not.”
“You were brought here as an exchange,” he said. “Your old employer, Robert, was actually a friend of mine a long time ago and has kept in touch with me since the Incident. I may not remember your lover, but I remember you, Verdell.”
“And you know Robert.”
“Sure, we’re old college buddies,” he said. “He mentioned that you were looking for more challenging opportunities.”
“Did he now?”
He leaned forward and gestured for me to come closer. Which I did, realizing that I had no idea what was about to happen next.
“I run a well-formed machine,” he said. “I operate to the rhythms of the universe, which has no room for chaos. Should you choose to love me and pledge your devotion to me, I won’t reject it, but you’re going to have to make some serious sacrifices if you want the favor returned. Understand?”
I nodded, unsure of what else to do or say.
“Robert tells me you’re very talented at coordinating things. Like lunch meetings.”
I was a little offended. “That’s not my only talent. There was a time I could make it look like I’d done a lot of data entry.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” he said. “Not everyone can do that.” He waved me away. “Go join my other servants. Let them show you the ropes.”
I gingerly walked in the direction of his minions, who were clearly eavesdropping. “You’re not going to want to—”
I stammered the words to an awkward question.
“Yes?” he asked.
“Well, sometimes when warlords like a servant girl very much—”
He winced as if I had pitched him a musical retelling of The Dukes of Hazzard. “Please, you’re not my type or gender. Don’t flatter yourself.”
I nodded and made my hasty retreat to where the others waited.
Darren had a group of almost twenty working for him. They were all haggard-looking, but operated the house like some kind of hippie commune. Stepping forward, I recognized my old co-worker, Tatiana, who immediately took me aside as soon as I left Darren’s presence.
“You’re the new girl!” she breathily exclaimed. “I’m Starshine.”
“You’re Starshine?” I asked, shaking my head, pointing at myself. “No, you’re Tatiana. We used to work together! Remember?”
She nodded. “I had another name, but once the Incident happened, I realized I could be whoever I wanted. So now I’m Starshine. Also, our Lord kidnapped me and held me for four days in a dark room without water until I forgot everything.” She took a breath and smiled brightly while extending her hand out to me. “So I’m Starshine.”
“I’m Verdell,” I said, shaking her hand. “Just Verdell.”
“It’s so pleasant to meet you,” she said.
“But that’s the thing,” I said. “We’ve already met. You’re Tatiana, we used to hang out and make pros and cons lists. You like karaoke!”
She gave me a blank smile. “I’m Starshine.”
“Tatiana.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. “I just hated those dogs.”
She pulled me into the kitchen area where four other women waited. I scanned the group, but stopped at one of the women who looked incredibly familiar.
“Priscilla?” I asked. “Is that you?”
I knew it was Priscilla and this time I could remember her name. Her eyes flickered with some kind of recognition, but instead she shook her head.
“I am Mountain Spring,” she said in a hollow, lilting voice. “You are mistaken.”
Nope. I knew that was Priscilla. I remembered her name and was a little surprised that she was not dead. It did explain that hideous carved scar in her cheek and chest.
Tatiana put her arms around me and led me to the center of the room.
“This is Verdell,” she said with a touch of disdain in her lilting voice. “I know. It’s a terrible name, but she’s still very nice.”