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The gunman stared at me, but was slowly following his coworker to the van. They got in, slammed the door and drove away. As if on cue, almost as if God wanted to reassure how much He hated mankind and this story being told, a storm of rain began to fall, light at first, then progressively heavier. It was miserable as I stood there cold.

I couldn’t even sit down. When the rain did stop, I became aware that there’d be roving gangs somewhere, just lurking around, waiting to take the middling healthy white girl away with them. I tried to loosen the collar, but it was locked with a heavy padlock, making the strain on my neck unbearable. I thought back to the day of that earthquake. Maybe I could have run, maybe I could have found my family and been a thousand miles away from here.

I don’t know what time it was or how much more time I had, but I heard an engine approach. I had been half-asleep at the time, but I was aware of it but then the sound of a car door shutting completely startled me. My neck was killing me as were my feet, so I tried to lean on the pole for some relief.

In the darkness, a figure walked toward me. I straightened to look, and the nearer they got the more I recognized one of the gunmen from the house.

“Is it time?” I asked. “Are you coming to take me back? Have I learned your lessons?”

The gunman didn’t say anything, but got really close in my face.

“Um, hello?” I said. “My neck hurts. I’m really tired. I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson.”

He pulled off his mask, revealing a man with a heavily scarred face. It took me a moment, but I realized that this face belonged to Bruce.

I gasped.

“I thought you were dead,” I said. “How are you not dead?”

“Disappointed?” he asked, annoyed.

“No,” I said. “I thought for sure Darren ate you.”

“I told you,” he said. “I’ve got the networking gift. Once I told him that I was that guy who was in the Farnsworth Invention, he let me go. No thanks to you, of course. You just ran off and left me.”

“I didn’t want to stick around and watch you get eaten.”

“Well, now you get to sit and live with it.”

With that, he spun on his heels and walked away.

“Don’t go!” I said. “Don’t go!”

He raised a hand and gave me the finger.

At first, I thought I’d been left to die, but hours later, him and his coworker returned and set me free again. I didn’t say a word as I was exhausted and in so much pain from my head to my feet. So I let them carry me to the van, just letting all my body weight sag just to make it really difficult for them to toss me into the van.

When I returned to the house, I was ushered back into Darren’s presence where Tigerlily had beaten me there.

“She’s a monster!” she said. “I heard from Morning Spring that she killed two boyfriends and a house full of men. She will murder us all.”

Darren looked at me. “Are any of these allegations true?”

“I also heard she likes to steal rolls and medicine from children,” she said.

I was exhausted. I just wanted to lie down and sleep. Every step I took resulted in a thousand stabbing needles in my feet, which made it hard to stand. Bruce had to prop me up on his shoulder.

“First of all,” I said weakly. “No, it’s not true. Secondly, not true. And third and most importantly of all, it’s not true.”

“I have been a critic of the arts for many decades.” Darren folded his hands together. “And I have never seen sarcasm and cynicism so alive and well in an individual who has been through what you have.”

I halfheartedly managed a shrug with my other hand while I maintained balance on Bruce’s shoulder.

“I have to cope.” I coughed. “Something of my past life.”

No!” he said. “You don’t. And don’t infect my other wives, either.”

“I’m not a wife?” I asked. “I don’t get the chance to reject you?”

Darren winced. “You’re not my type,” he said. “But you’re missing the point. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. We’re all monsters. I won’t judge as I have no room to.”

I nodded. I didn’t feel good at all.

Tigerlily angrily lunged for me, but Darren’s guards stopped her.

“She brings death on all of us!” she yelled. “She’ll kill me and then come for you!”

Darren shrugged. “So what do I do with you?”

“I’d like to lay down in a fetal position, please.” As I said that I looked outside. I don’t know why, maybe something caught my eye. It happened to be at the time I saw a gang of monsters, all with torches in their hands. Ordinarily, I’d be full of fear. This time I wasn’t scared.

* * *

Since I wasn’t one of Darren’s wives, I wasn’t allowed to have an actual bedroom to lie down in, but I was allowed to rest on a set of pillows in the broom closet for a few hours. I was fully prepared to enjoy it when Bruce came and ruined everything as usual.

He shook me awake. “Verdell?” he whispered.

I rolled over. “Just let me sleep. You and your new buddies can kill me in the morning.”

“You’re just jealous that I finally have a career and you don’t.”

“This is not a career,” I said, sitting up. “You are a lackey who doesn’t get to show his face.”

“Well, neither Darren nor I have any desire to marry you.”

“I don’t see anyone voting for you for homecoming queen, either.”

Bruce took a deep breath. “This is not the way to behave. We are both grown adults. One of us just hasn’t admitted that they were wrong yet.”

“Get bent and let me sleep.”

Bruce slammed the door in my face. I happily got comfortable again. In the distance I heard a far off explosion. I sat up, tense and at attention.

“What was that?” I heard Darren’s lilting voice ask.

“Nothing,” Bruce said.

“Well, keep it down. Trying to write a manifesto here.”

“Sorry.”

I repositioned myself for comfort until Bruce came back.

“Listen to me,” he said. “I broke up with you. I could easily kick you out of here.”

“Do it,” I said. “Or just ignore me. I don’t care.”

“Just acknowledge that you thought my acting was a joke.”

“It was. Now go.”

“You’re a bitch.” He shut the door.

I tried to get comfortable again over the outside voices.

I heard a man speak. “Who keeps slamming doors around here?”

“That was me,” said Bruce. “Sorry, I just let it go a little hard.”

“Knock it off, would you? Some of us are trying to create a new history.”

“You’re right. Won’t do it again.”

“Seriously.”

I closed my eyes again, but not before Bruce gently opened the door.

“You knew I was on the way up and you came here to ruin everything for me,” he said after the third time of bursting in on my nap. “I’m not going to let you do it. Darren trusts me far over you.”

I sat up. “Damn it, Bruce!” I said. “Quit being so insecure. I would have totally bought that you were someone to be intimidated by had you not opened your mouth and ruined everything. If I’ve learned anything about this Apocalypse, it’s that I wished I was part of the third that died. That way I would have never had to deal with you or the downward spiral of stupidity that’s happening constantly. Also, I would have never learned how undesirable I am. Seriously, no one wants to marry me? None of my family wants to find me?”

“Now who’s insecure?” Bruce asked. “I ought to carry you around the room and yell out every time you’ve embarrassed me in public.”

“What’s that going to prove?” I asked, my voice rising to a new volume. “That you’re whiny and can’t let anything go? Here’s something to hold on to then—you’re the biggest complainer the world’s ever seen. And no one cared about your play.”