“I know it’s a difficult concept for you.”
“More like impossible,” he groaned. “However, I think maybe I could be swayed this one time, depending on your proposal for our after dinner activities.”
She shot him a quick, brilliant smile. “You know that ice cream place in East Park? 16 Handles?”
“That’s my favorite place.”
“I know.”
He threw his arm around her, hugging her close to his side before glancing over at the bar where Austin stood with Sam and a group of other guys. “Tell your brother nothing.”
Leila zipped her lips and threw away the key as they snuck through the crowd and out the back door.
Chapter 23
LEILA’S CHOICE
“You realize we look crazy, right?”
Henrik shoved another giant spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, shrugging. “It’s New York. We fit in.”
Leila looked around, grinning to herself as she watched the unruly city patrons rush by them. He was probably right. They sat on a park bench, dressed to the nines, eating ice cream in the middle of December. It didn’t make any sense, but that was what she liked about it the most. He’d given her his jacket, but she still shivered as she twirled her spoon around in her cup.
“What are you thinking about?” he inquired around a mouthful of peanut butter blast.
Apparently, his tux didn’t come with table manners. She took a small bite off her spoon in response and swallowed. “Nothing in particular. Just everything.”
“Well, that qualifies for elaboration,” he instructed, scooting closer to her on the bench.
She sighed and nodded before leaning into him. She was comfortable there with their shoulders connected. Safe, and dared she say, loved. All things she didn’t realize were missing in her life. “I was thinking about Drew,” she admitted, “and how he seems to be moving forward in his life. I guess it’s made me think about myself a little.”
Nerves twirled in her stomach. It was time she told somebody. She couldn’t go on pretending forever. They all needed to know about the medicine, and the clinical study. Drew would be too emotional, and Austin too protective. Her best option was Henrik.
“Would this be referring to that conversation you keep avoiding with me? Because Drew’s been asking questions, and pushing me to talk to you about it.”
She stared at the ice cream. “I know. Trust me, he’s been asking me questions too.”
Drew practically kept a running tally of her every move. Noting her every absence. Clocking her every nap. It was cruel not to tell him.
“He’s worried about you, and I think you know why.”
“Drew is afraid of losing me,” she said, setting her cup of ice cream down next to her. “He’s always had that fear. He was a complete mess the year I graduated. It wasn’t until you told me about your mom that I really understood it.”
“Should he be concerned about that now?” Henrik sat his ice cream down between them. “Should I be?”
She reached over and took his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“He’s seen you take medicine. He’s been—”
“I’m not dying, Henrik.”
He let out a gush of air. “Then what is it? What happened between Derek cheating on you, and you showing up here?”
A small smile formed on her lips before she nervously bit her bottom lip. She reached forward and kissed him, soft and gentle. “You,” she whispered, “you happened.”
His breath staggered out in a half laugh. “I thought you said you didn’t come back for me.”
A car pulled up behind them and honked. Leila knew it was their driver, but she turned anyway.
“Come on, let’s go home,” she said, standing.
He didn’t move. “Answer me first.”
She looked at him, her body preparing herself for the confession. “I’d rather show you.”
“How?”
“You remember that black bag I showed up with at your door?”
“Yes.”
She smiled, laughing nervously. “Then come on, let’s go home so I can show you.”
***
Leila stepped out of the car in front of their apartment building, her breath already caught in her throat. It was time. She was finally going to tell Henrik. She wanted it to be different, to be already out on her own, have herself put back together, but she was running out of time.
“Go on up,” he whispered, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “It’s cold. I’m going to pay Ken, and I’ll be right behind you.”
She nodded and headed for the door, which Carl held open. She was relieved for the moment of privacy. She needed time to put her thoughts in order. She’d imagined a thousand different scenarios in her head, none of them like this, and it was causing her to panic. At that moment, she had everything, even if physically she had barely anything to her name. The comfort her family provided the last two months had been unbelievable, and for the first time she included Henrik in that assessment.
She needed Henrik. She never thought she’d say that, but it was true.
Her thoughts raced as she stepped into the elevator. Her palms turned clammy and her mouth dried out. How could Henrik continue to have such a drastic effect on her after all these years? Eventually, you would think she’d become immune to him, but even the thought of seeing his face again in a few short minutes spiked her heartrate.
She continued to prepare her speech in her head, each pass through becoming more rambled than the first. She was so caught up in her thoughts that it took a moment for her to register the harsh voices booming through the opening elevator doors.
Drew’s volatile warning came first. “I wouldn’t tempt me, asshole. It’s taking all the restraint I can muster not to clock you. I might suggest toning down your attitude a notch.”
“I said I want to see her.”
Leila instantly clutched her hand around the railing inside the elevator as she lost her breath. It was Derek. Just the sound of his voice sent a wave of cold chills down her spine, causing the hair to prickle along her arms.
“And I told you no,” Drew answered, matching his snarling tone perfectly.
“Don’t make me—” Derek started, but the elevator ding distracted him from his thought.
Without thinking twice, she stepped out, her hand already clenched into a fist. Calling her and leaving voicemails was one thing, but showing up at her door unannounced and threatening her best friend was something she absolutely would not allow. She stood in the hallway, her features hard and cold as she confronted her ex for the first time since she found out.
His brown hair had grown out the way it usually did during the winter stretch of the season, and he wore the faded jeans she’d bought him. This time last year she might have returned his smile, pleasantly surprised by his sudden, unexpected appearance at her door. That was last year, though.
She had no more smiles for him.
“Leila.” And just like that, he flipped a switch. Gone was the menace in his voice he possessed only moments ago, replaced by that same gentle breathlessness he always used for her. She actually thought the no-count, trash-talking goon was his hockey alter ego. She’d convinced herself the Derek she knew was the real him.
She was naïve.
It had all been a show for her benefit. He never meant a single word he spoke. The promises were only lies, and the flowers just another prop in the theatrical production that was their relationship. He’d used her. He needed someone to substantiate the façade he portrayed every day, to help make him appear to be that nice guy everyone wanted to know.