As if that somehow made being a shitty person okay. It wasn’t okay. None of it was okay.
He stood, stretching out his muscles. Sam continued to study him as he hung up his gear. “That the only thing bothering you?”
He wasn’t sure he wanted to discuss it yet, or even if he should, but Leila’s words kept running through his mind. The more he considered it, her accusations were right on point. There was more to the world than his datebook, and as he looked over at Sam’s youthful, expectant face, he was instantly reminded of Drew. His heart sank a little at the thought of his brother, and everything he’d endured in silence, especially the past year, just because he was too self-involved to notice.
It was time he started to give a little effort, he decided, and he would start with Sam. “How about I moan about it while I help you with that slap shot?”
“Really?” Sam sounded utterly shocked by the offer, which only made Henrik feel worse.
How the hell did an inconsiderate bastard like him manage to become captain?
“Yes, really,” he sighed. “Get suited up, and I’ll meet you out on the ice.”
Fifteen minutes later, he skated next to Sam as they made loops around the goal, and then figure eights down the middle of the ice to warm up. After his muscles started to burn, he slowed and motioned for Sam to come down toward the goal. He spent the next half hour giving Sam his undivided attention while he taught him the secret to a deadly slap shot. After a round of shots hitting directly on target, Sam turned to him, smiling triumphantly. “All right, now it’s your turn.”
“You sure you want to listen to my troubles?”
“Entertain me,” Sam instructed, skating away to retrieve the pucks he’d shot.
He propped his chin on the top of his stick, considering where he would even begin. “Have I ever introduced you to my little brother?”
As the words left his mouth, he realized he should already know the answer to that question. He should have introduced them by now, but that was another problem for a different day.
“I’ve seen him around once or twice.” Sam nodded. “He comes to most of the games.”
“That’s because he lives next door to me,” he explained. “I pay his rent, so he can focus on paying off his student loans. At least, that’s the argument I used to get him to New York. Mostly, I just wanted to keep an eye on him.”
Sam laughed. “Isn’t he just a couple years younger than you?”
“Yes,” he said, sighing. “But he was only twelve when we moved here from Sweden, and even though he’s an adult now, I still feel responsible for him.”
Sam nodded, casually shooting pucks back toward his feet. “That’s only natural.”
“Is it also natural to mistake his sexuality, and ruin his life?”
Sam, absently practicing his handling skills, dropped the puck off the end of his stick. “What?”
“My brother is gay,” he explained. “I had no idea.”
“And you have a problem with that?”
“No. That’s the thing,” he replied quickly. “I have no problem with it whatsoever. I’ve taken care of the kid my whole life. I’ve done everything for him. I don’t fucking care if he’s gay. My problem is I found out last night from someone else.” He collected a few pucks and lined them up for Sam, frustrated as he tried to organize his thoughts. “Now that I think back, I realize Drew’s been trying to tell me for years, and I just never took the time to listen to him.”
“Well, it’s not too late to talk to him about it,” Sam suggested.
“Maybe,” he sighed, “if he doesn’t hate me by now.”
“You’re his brother. I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”
He looked skeptically at Sam. “I set him up on no less than twelve dates last year. All women.”
Sam half laughed. “Okay, so maybe you should buy him a gift. You know, smooth things over.”
“Thanks, but I’m sure I’d just screw that up too.”
He took a hard shot at the goal, his annoyance with own actions evident. Sam must have noticed as well. “Is that the only thing bothering you? Because I honestly believe that once you talk to your brother, everything will be fine. He obviously wanted you to know, and since you’re cool with it, shouldn’t everything be good?”
He smirked at Sam as he began to practice his slap shot again. “You’re perceptive, kid.”
“So, stop avoiding the question, and just tell me your real problem.”
He thought for a long moment, unsure if it was a wise idea to confess such a secret, but it might be good to finally get it off his chest. “Well, I guess you could say I’m having a girl problem.”
Sam froze mid-swing and stood up to gawk over at him in disbelief. “You? Girl problems? What is it? Too many dates and not enough days of the week?”
“It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“All right, let’s hear it, then.”
He studied Samuel, deciding whether or not he should even speak it out loud. More importantly, should he risk Austin finding out about his indiscretion? It would mean the end of their friendship, he was certain of it. He hadn’t been joking with Leila when he said guys had rules about sisters. “I slept with one of my friend’s family members,” he stated slowly, analyzing how it sounded.
Sam’s eyes rounded to the size of saucers. “You slept with Austin’s sister?”
“What? No. I didn’t say Austin.” He panicked, wishing he’d kept his mouth shut. “I definitely didn’t mention his sister.”
“Oh, c’mon, Henrik. It’s blatantly obvious your only real friend is Austin, and trust me, I’ve seen his sister. I met her at the Devils game a while back. She is like ‘oh my God’ kind of hot.”
“It’s not Austin’s sister,” he insisted, but there was an edge to his voice.
“Okay.” Sam gave him a teasing wink. “For the purpose of this conversation, we’ll pretend it is not Austin’s sister.”
He eyed him, but Sam just continued to smile back at him. “So, what’s the deal? Are you afraid your friend, who isn’t Austin, will find out about it and never forgive you?”
Henrik’s scowl covered his entire face. He couldn’t believe he was so transparent. “I guess that’s part of it. It’s just a lot more complicated than I originally planned. Honestly, I thought we’d hook up, go our separate ways, and on the occasion when we did run into each other, it would be something I teased her about. Like—you remember that time we hooked up in the bathroom at the Regency in Newark?”
Sam smirked. “The bathroom at the Regency, huh? Classy.”
“Yeah, well, it gets worse, smart ass.”
Suddenly intrigued, Sam spun around, his expression expectant.
“She was a virgin,” he said reluctantly, knowing how horrible it made him sound.
“Wait a second,” Sam tried, but stopped to give himself a moment. “You took your best friend’s little sister’s virginity in a bathroom at a hotel in Newark.” Sam was starting to look like he finally understood why he was having a bad day. “Oh, Austin is so going to kick your ass!”
“Damn it, rookie. Keep your voice down.”
“Sorry,” he said, wincing. “But it’s true.”
“Yeah, well, I’d deserve it.”
And Henrik meant it. He was the last person who should have received that honor. He was honest enough to admit that even if he had known, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but he would have done things differently. He wasn’t sure what, exactly, but it definitely wouldn’t have included the bathroom wall.
“Maybe Austin won’t ever find out,” Sam offered. “If she lives in Newark, it’s not like you’ll run into her that often.”
Henrik laughed, though he wasn’t amused. “Oh, did I mention how she showed up at our apartment last night?”
Sam stopped what he was doing, his voice sympathetic. “Yep. You’re screwed. And not in the good ‘virgin in the bathroom at the Regency’ kind of way either.”
Henrik playfully smacked him on the back of the head with his blade. “No shit, Sherlock,” he growled. “She obviously needs help after her breakup with her boyfriend, or my apartment would have definitely been the last place she would have shown up. I don’t know how to be that kind of guy, though.”