As Hurdis said these words, Grey felt to his amazement that his hand was lifting away from his lap. It went gently upward until his arm was upright, or almost so.
“Good, that’s fine. Now feel it in the air, feel the air around it, supporting it gently. The air is holding it up, the air is holding it, holding it, and now you cannot pull the hand down again, the air is holding it …”
Thinking he should try, Grey tightened his arm muscles and attempted to bring his hand down … but the sensation of something soft and supporting was definite, and his hand stayed where it was.
“… holding it up, but now I want you to lower your hand as soon as I have counted to five, as soon as I count from one to five, your hand will fall back, but not until I reach five, Richard, one … two … your hand is still held up by the air … three … four … now you feel the air is releasing your hand … five … your hand is free… .”
Seemingly of its own will, the hand fell slowly back into his lap.
“… that’s fine, Richard, that’s fine. Now I want you to stay breathing slowly, your whole body relaxed, but when I tell you I want you to open your eyes, not until I tell you, you can open your eyes and look around the room, and when you open your eyes and look around the room, I want you to look, but not until I tell you, I want you to look for Miss Gowers, look for Miss Gowers, but you will not be able to see her, she is here but you will not be able to see her, but don’t open your eyes until I have counted to five, when I count from one to five I want you to open your eyes …”
Hurdis droned on and on, and Grey, listening closely, found the quiet speaking voice irresistible, compelling.
“… open your eyes when I reach five … one … two … three … four … I want you to open your eyes … five… .”
Grey opened his eyes and saw Dr. Hurdis standing slightly to one side looking at him, half smiling in a friendly way.
“You can’t see Miss Gowers, Richard, but I want you to look for her, look around the room but you cannot see her, look now… .”
Grey turned toward the row of chairs against the wall, knowing she was there. He had heard her sitting down, and just now he had heard her with her pen and notebook, but when he looked she was not there. Thinking she must have moved, Grey looked quickly around the room, but there was nowhere she could be. He looked back at the chairs, knowing she was there but unable to see her. Weak sunlight came through the window and struck the wall, but there was not even a shadow of her. He tried to imagine her red skirt and black top, but that was no help.
“You can speak if you wish, Richard.”
“Where is she? Has she left the room?”
“No, she is still here. Now, please sit back again and make yourself comfortable. Close your eyes again, steady your breathing and let your limbs relax, you’re feeling drowsy. Fine, that’s fine. You can feel yourself starting to drift again, starting to move slowly backwards, and now you feel very sleepy indeed, very sleepy, and you are drifting deeper and deeper, that’s fine, deeper and deeper, and now I’m going to count to ten, from one to ten, you will drift deeper and deeper, and with every number you will drift deeper, and feel sleepier and sleepier, one … very deep … two … you are drifting further and further … three… .”
But then there was a gap.
Grey next heard: “… seven … you will feel very refreshed, very happy, very calm … eight … you are beginning to awaken, you will be fully awake, fully alert, very calm … nine … your sleep is now very light, much lighter, you can see the daylight against your eyelids, and in a moment you will open your eyes and be fully awake, and you will be calm and happy … ten … you can open your eyes now, Richard.”
Grey waited a few more seconds, comfortable in the chair, his arms folded in his lap, sorry that it was over. He was reluctant to break the spell; he had been free of the stiffness in his body all through the hypnosis, with no threat of pain. But his eyelids fluttered, and a moment later he opened his eyes fully.
Something had happened. This was his first thought as he looked at the other two; both stood beside the chair, looking down at him.
“How are you feeling, Richard?”
“Fine,” he said, but already the pains of his body were returning, the familiar stiffness creeping over his hip, his back, his shoulders. “Is something wrong?”
“No, of course not. Would you like a cup of coffee?” Grey said he would, and Alexandra Gowers put down her notebook and left the room. Hurdis’s manner was abrupt and awkward. He moved to the other chair and sat down.
“Now, I want to ask you: do you remember everything that just happened?”
“I think so.”
“Would you mind describing it to me? What is the first thing you remember?”
“You told me to start counting backwards from three hundred, and I did. It was difficult to concentrate, and I gave up after a while. The next thing I remember was that my hand rose up in the air, and I couldn’t get it down until you released it. Then you made Miss Gowers disappear.”
Hurdis nodded slowly. “The only thing I’d say is that you were doing these things, not me.”
“If you say so.”
“What do you remember next?”
“I … think you wanted to go further, but then you seemed to change your mind. I’m not sure what happened. I started waking up.”
“And that’s all you remember?”
“Yes.”
Alexandra Gowers returned to the room, carrying a small tray with three cups of coffee. As she passed them across, Hurdis repeated what Grey had just said. Returning to her seat, she said, “Then it’s spontaneous.”
“I think so too,” Hurdis said.
Grey, whose feeling of mild euphoria had been quickly dispersed by the chilly atmosphere, said, “Would you mind telling me what you’re talking about?”
“You turn out to be an excellent hypnotic subject,” Hurdis said. “I was able to take you into a deep trance without any difficulty at all. Normally the subject is able to remember this afterwards, but in some cases he is not. I think you are one. You were in deep trance for about forty-five minutes. I was hoping you would be able to remember this.”
“It’s known as spontaneous amnesia,” Alexandra Gowers said, and Hurdis glanced sharply at her.
“It’s just a technical term, Richard.”
“Of course,” he said quietly. Most of what he had been forced to listen to in recent months consisted of technical terms, sometimes explained, sometimes not. He no longer cared; he was looking forward to hearing ordinary people saying ordinary things.
“The point is that I regressed you to the period obscured by the amnesia. It would obviously be better if you could remember by yourself, but if not it might help if we gently jog your memory.”
“Then you did take me back?” Grey said, interested now.
“When you were in deep trance I asked you to try to recall the events of last year. We can roughly date it to the end of last summer, the car bomb incident being at the beginning of September. Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“As I had expected, you sounded traumatized. Your voice became emotional and it was difficult to make out a lot of what you said. I asked you to describe where you were, but you didn’t. I asked if there was anyone with you, and you said there was a woman.”
“Susan Kewley!”
“You called her Sue. I must tell you, Richard, that none of this is conclusive. It will take more sessions than just this one. We were unable to make sense of most of what we heard. For instance, some of what you said was in French.”
“French! But I don’t speak French! Well, hardly any. Why should I speak French under hypnosis?”