“They’ll know you, honey, even if you’re not here. They’ll know.”
He stared down at me in mild affront, his brows drawn. “I must be at the birth. It must be me who pulls him from your womb. The first being a child must see, Circe, is their father. The first touch they must feel is the touch of their father. Their connection to their mother is established for months, their father must have those to establish his.”
Wow, that was beautiful. But as beautiful as it was, I was hoping for someone like a midwife who would “pull him from my womb”. Even the midwife serving a savage, primitive horde. My guess was my husband hadn’t handled or even attended very many births (as in, none) and she’d likely have experience I might need.
You know, just in case.
I decided it was wise not to share this.
Instead I sighed. Then I gave him a squeeze.
Then I said, “Well, you better kick some Maroo ass, baby, then get yours home to me…” I paused then whispered, “Safe.”
His eyes roamed my face for long moments before his lips twitched up.
“This is the plan,” he muttered.
I grinned at him.
He grinned back.
Then it faded and he whispered, “I must go.”
I nodded and waited. Then it came, his hand at my jaw, his thumb sweeping my cheekbone and his eyes wandering my face with such intensity it was like he was trying to burn the vision of it in his brain.
This happened every morning right before he left me since the day after the attack. This, I guessed (but did not ask), was an indication of a psychological wound he endured while riding hard to get to me after learning of a plot to murder me that included a traitor in his very own cham. Then arriving home to have his first vision of me being a me covered in blood. It was clear this had marked him deeply. And although it was a beautiful thing to think the very idea of my loss could wound him so severely, I hated that that wound was there.
I just didn’t know what to do about it.
So I did the only thing I knew to do. I pressed into him and smiled brightly.
Then I suggested, “How about this, I take your xac in my lisa when you get home tonight.”
The intensity in his eye shifted, then faded, then returned in a different way, then his arm curled around me and he pulled me deeper.
“You just made me a promise, kah bahsah,” he growled.
I pushed slightly up and, against his mouth, I whispered, “I won’t renege, kah bahsan.”
His eyes held mine for a heartbeat before his head slanted and he kissed me, deep and wet and I was really glad I used that twig.
When my toes had curled and my nipples had gone hard and I realized that I didn’t feel at all like throwing up in his mouth, he released my lips, lifted up, kissed my forehead and then he maneuvered his big body over mine and out of the bed. Then I watched over my shoulder as his fabulous body with his seriously fine ass walked to the bathroom-ish style room.
Then I rolled to my back and examined the state of my stomach.
I was fine.
I was about to call out to inform Lahn of this when a roil of nausea slid through.
Okay, so I wasn’t fine. Therefore, I didn’t call out to Lahn.
But I listened to him and watched him as he moved around in the other rooms and our bedroom. And as I listened and watched, I committed what I heard and saw to memory.
And I processed the last six weeks and I did this in an effort not to think about what the next six weeks (and longer) would bring.
* * * * *
We had stayed at our camp for two weeks after the attack. Lahn again mostly disappeared during this time as planning a war was obviously time consuming. But every day he woke me to say a very nice good morning then he’d be gone and I wouldn’t see him until my next good morning.
As he ordered, a new cham replacing our old one was sheltering me in a week (actually, more like five days). This one was made with darker, thicker fabric and had a variety of new poles. Where the other one just had those holding up the roof, this one had four in a star shape between each support so that even if a knife could cut through the fabric, there wasn’t enough room for anyone to squeeze through unless they chopped their way through the wooden supports.
Lahn was clearly not taking any chances. This felt nice. But, every time I saw those poles, it made me sad. I missed our old cham and I missed my Teetru as I knew her to be (not, obviously, who she ended up being).
I didn’t dwell on the sad.
Our cham was also bigger, perhaps two feet all around but two feet added to the circumference of a circular tent was a lot. It seemed cavernous compared with our old one.
I would understand this added room when our long, narrow table was not returned and one just as long but three times as wide was set in its place with four chairs around it rather than just two at the ends. Also, another chair with a small ottoman were introduced to our décor (yes, an actual chair!). The chair was heavy on the wood but the back and seat were cushioned and covered with rose velvet with a design cut into them.
These were spoils of raiding.
I didn’t think of that. I thought instead my new furniture was perfect for girls’ night in and I used them for this purpose. Copiously.
I also had a new slave (more spoils of raiding). Her name was Quixa, she was older than Jacanda and Beetus, younger than Gaal and Packa and she was Korwahk.
Jacanda, who had naturally taken over as leader of the girls after we lost Teetru (a surprise, I would have guessed Gaal or maybe Packa, but Jacanda was really good at it, the girls took to her and settled very quickly), took Quixa under her wing and was delighted with the addition.
And she told me Quixa was delighted too. And she explained why.
“Quixa is born slave and her masters were kind. But when they were travelling through Keenhak, their party was set upon by Maroo and her masters were killed. She was taken by Maroo and everyone knows that the Maroo treat Maroo slaves one way, all slaves from other nations another and not in good ways. She is happy to be in service to a Dahksahna and she is very happy to be home. These last three years,” she shook her head, “they have not been good for Quixa.”
Okay, well, I had to admit that made me feel better about Lahn stealing her from someone else while out pillaging. Not a lot better but it was something.
For me, things were business as usual, outside of Lahn being absent most of the time and the fact that my personal guard swelled from two to six. Lahn added Bohtan, Feetak and Char and Vuntus’s husbands Tark and Yoonan (respectively) to their ranks. This was explained one morning when I’d asked about his choices and Lahn had the time to answer.
“You share a bond with their wives. Through that they are bonded to you more than you simply being their golden warrior queen. This intensifies loyalty. Their wives want no harm to come to you because you are their friend. And these warriors hold deep feelings for their wives so they will make this so.”
I thought that was a nice way to look at it.
It was nicer when he went on.
“And they all came to me separately, knowing I would be seeking more protection for my Dahksahna, and they volunteered for this service.”
Definitely nicer.
I never went anywhere without at least two, but usually there were four of my guard with me and after what happened, their presence was definitely welcome.
During these two weeks, I saw three of what Diandra told me were “raiders” or “raiding parties”, in other words, groups of The Horde who went out marauding. They rode over the horizon to swell our ranks. In each raiding party, there were about a hundred horses all together (warriors and wives) plus their convoy of wagons. I also saw one “patrol” (again, this info gleaned from Diandra) which was a troop of The Horde that patrolled Korwahk to keep the civilians safe from other country’s marauders or to be on the lookout for invasion. Korwahk did it themselves but they did not countenance others doing it back. That said, it happened on more than the rare occasion so these groups found action often. The patrol had what looked like a few hundred horses (plus wagons).