“I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now,” said the little fellow gloomily. “Yes, that’s Coley, all right.”
And so it was. Coley came in and saw Prin and immediately stopped whistling.
“Hello, there,” Coley said. “What brings you here, Prin? Is something wrong?”
“There’s hardly anything right, darling, but you could start making things better by kissing me.”
“It wouldn’t be fair in front of old Winnie,” said Coley bashfully. “He’s the jealous type.”
“So,” said Prin in a grim voice, “he told me.”
“Oh, so you and old Winnie have been getting acquainted. He’s a sweet little guy, if on the nutty side. Aren’t you, Winnie?”
“Yes, Coley,” said Winnie Whitfield ecstatically.
“But all these snakes—” began Prin.
“Oh, you get used to them after a while. They keep Winnie happy, that’s the important thing. Though I admit I was kind of upset one night when one got into bed with me.”
“It was only a king snake, Coley,” Winston said with anxiety.
“It’s worse than having to sleep with somebody who has cold feet. Do you have cold feet, Prin?”
“Frankly, I don’t know. But I’m sure I’m warmer than a king snake.”
“You mentioned kissing,” Coley said suddenly. “Shall we go somewhere and indulge ourselves?”
“Oh, yes.”
“I know a little park. It’s only a few blocks from here. We could sit on a bench and do it.”
“A dark bench?”
“The darkest we can find. And maybe later we’ll step out. Winnie, Prin and I are going to the park.”
“I heard you,” Winnie said sullenly.
Coley took Prin to the little park and kissed her. The kiss was repeated repeatedly, since Coley pointed out with irrefutable reason that one kiss was about as satisfying as one beer. Later, when Prin had been sufficiently comforted, they approached Uncle Slater and the murder by way of Winston Whitfield.
“Well,” Coley said, “what did you think of old Winnie?”
“He’s a bit odd, isn’t he?” said Prin. “You said so yourself. Is that why you haven’t told me about him before?”
“Oh, I’m so used to having him around I keep forgetting about him. Besides, most people don’t understand him.”
“I can see why they wouldn’t. I’m not sure I understand him myself, and I’ve had plenty of practice understanding odd people.”
“He’s an engaging little devil when you get to know him. Currently, however, he’s something of a problem. I don’t know what to do with him when we get married.”
“He’s a grown man, isn’t he? He’ll just have to shift for himself.”
“A grown man? Winnie? By God, that’s true, when you stop to think of it.”
“Darling, you’re far too warm-hearted for your own good.”
“Well, I feel sort of committed to old Winnie. I’ve kind of led him to expect certain things.”
“He absolutely worships you. He thinks you’re the kindest and cleverest and finest fellow alive.” Prin watched him narrowly.
“Did he say that?” asked Coley, obviously touched.
“Yes.”
Coley uttered a distressed sound. “I wonder if we couldn’t arrange it so he lives with us later.”
“We could not. And you’d better stop thinking along those lines, Coley Collins!”
“You’re probably right. He’d only make a bloody little nuisance of himself — snakes all over the place, and all that. It’s a big house, though. Maybe we could put him and his snakes in the basement or some place.”
“Which house do you mean?”
“Your Uncle Slater’s, of course. I assume we’ll be living there.”
“Why should you assume any such thing? Uncle Slater is dead, and everything has changed.”
“You mean about that crazy will, ringing in all those remote O’Sheas? Princess, I’ve always had a feeling you’d come out better than the others. He liked you the best — told me so himself one night in the taproom. You’ll see, Prin. The house will be yours at least. Probably the whole estate.”
“On the contrary, Coley, nothing is mine.”
“What’s that? What did you say?”
“He didn’t leave me anything at all.”
“You’re putting me on.”
“The crazy will was a deliberate fake. He never signed it. Lieutenant Grundy found out about the real will from Selwyn Fish, Uncle Slater’s lawyer. That’s one of the things I wanted to talk with you about. Everything goes to Aunt Lallie.”
“Aunt Lallie! Did you say Aunt Lallie gets it all?”
“That’s what I said.”
Coley was in the grip of a terrible excitement. He leaped from the bench and began pacing with a measured wildness, so many steps this way and so many that, like a big cat in a small cage. It was too dark for Prin to see him clearly, but she knew from having seen it before that his eyes were glittering with fierce thought. Finally he sat down again on the bench, breathing deeply.
“Well!” he said. “Well, by God!”
“As far as I’m concerned,” Prin said, “Aunt Lallie is welcome to her haul. It’s bad enough that Uncle Slater was murdered, but to think that it was probably done by a member of his family! Whoever it is ought to be ashamed of himself.”
Coley muttered absently, “Aren’t you using the wrong gender?”
“The wrong what?”
“Gender. You said ‘ashamed of himself.’ It should be ‘herself.’”
“You mean Aunt Lallie? Don’t be silly, Coley.”
“Why not? As it’s turned out, isn’t she the one who profits?”
“Aunt Lallie says she had no knowledge whatever of the existence of that valid will.”
“My God,” groaned Coley. “Of course she said she didn’t know anything about it! Would you expect her to say that she did?”
“What about the drug? It wasn’t the kind of drug Aunt Lallie would even know existed, let alone get hold of and use.”
“What drug? You haven’t told me that.”
“A synthetic substitute for insulin. Something new for diabetics.”
“The devil it was,” said Coley thoughtfully. “Who said that was what was used? Grundy?”
“Yes. They found it in Uncle Slater’s bottle of bourbon, and then in Uncle Slater. Enough to kill him and then some.”
Coley was quiet. Finally he said, “Did Grundy say who he thought did it?”
“No. But public opinion apparently favors a collaboration between Aunt Lallie and me.”
“That’s utterly weird. By God, that’s just the sort of insanity you’d expect a herd of O’Sheas to come up with.”
“There is a kind of logic in it, though,” sighed Prin. “Aunt Lallie had the motive, and I had access to the drug. I mean, I work in a drug store. It’s something that would occur to anyone.”
“It didn’t occur to me. It’s obvious I’m going to have to put my mind to this if I’m to be of any use to you in this business. Don’t worry, Prin. I’ll set things straight if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Well, I hope it isn’t the last thing. I have some additional duties in mind that I’m rather looking forward to.”
“Me, too, so I have a selfish interest in seeing that you’re not charged with something that you didn’t do. Or, for that matter, that you did do.”
“Oh, Coley,” said Prin, burrowing into his shoulder.
“To begin with,” muttered Coley, “I’ll go see that knucklehead Grundy. If he’s left to his own devices, he’s sure to come to all the wrong conclusions.”
“I’m not at all convinced he’s a knucklehead, darling. I get the positive feeling that he’s a lot smarter than he lets on. Besides, he likes me.”