"Ye-es; I see. Mmmm. Why do you desire this post, when you have a flourishing business back in Kyzikos?"
"I have my reasons. Say I lust for the explorer's immortal fame, if you like; or say that I've seen the entire Inner Sea and want to try something new. Say what you please, so long as you get me the job."
"Dear Herakles, man, what can I do about this?"
"Physkon may not appreciate your scientific labors, but he sets some store by your advice on personnel. The next chance you get, put my name forward."
"Well, I don't know—"
"I'm not asking something for nothing. You want to publish your books, don't you? Well, I may not have the wealth of a Ptolemy, but neither have I a court and a kingdom to maintain. Therefore, I can afford to subsidize your publication. Get me that captaincy, and publication is yours."
He took a long drink to cover his feelings, but I saw a hopeful gleam in his eye. Still, as a veteran of the Ptolemaic court, where there's a scorpion beneath every stone, he was going to scrutinize the bait before taking the hook.
"Will you return to Kyzikos with your delegation and then come back here?" he asked.
"No. These ceremonies will soon be over, and my colleagues can fend for themselves when they're back on board the Persephonê."
"I shall have to consider this," he murmured. "For one thing, I ought to know more about you. If I advise Physkon, and he accepts my advice, and then things go badly, I shall be lamed."
"That's easy," said I, and began a tale of my adventures in the Inner and Euxine seas. If I slightly magnified the parts I played—well, I am sure I lied less than Hippalos had done to his many employers.
We finished our wine, paid up, and left. The streets were now fully dark, save for an occasional lantern or torch in front of some place of nocturnal amusement. Twenty years earlier, I should have made a night of it in these establishments, belike ending up with a free-for-all; but the years blunt one's taste for wine, women, and riot.
We found ourselves entering a block that was utterly dark, since it was the beginning of Thargelion and the night was moonless. We had to watch our step for potholes. I was telling Agatharchides how I had obtained Gnouros, a Scythian peasant about to be slain for some trivial fault by his nomadic overlords, when I heard a disturbance ahead.
"What's that?" said Agatharchides. "A robbery? My vision is no longer so keen at night."
As I came closer, I saw that several men had two others backed against a house wall. Shouting "Help!" the two victims were holding five attackers off with kicks and stabs.
"Let's run before they see us!" said Agatharchides.
"By Our Lady Persephone, what sort of man are you?" I said, and charged the group.
A two-handed whack over the ear stretched one robber senseless, and a thrust in the stomach with the end of my stick sent another staggering off, bent double and clutching his middle. As a third thief turned towards me, one of the victims leaped upon his back, bore him to the ground, and twisted the rusty smallsword out of his hand.
Agatharchides came up, puffing. Seeing themselves outnumbered, the remaining miscreants fled.
"By the gods and spirits!" said the man who knelt on the robber's back. "Aren't you Eudoxos and Agatharchides?"
We had rescued Artemidoros and Varsako. It took us half the night to fetch the watch, drag our two prisoners to a magistrate, and answer endless questions. But then Physkon's justice worked fast The magistrate heard our stories, asked the prisoners what they had to say, listened to their tales, and informed them that they were telling a pack of lies. He then sentenced them to life in the mines and ordered them taken to the torture room for questioning about their accomplices.
When we had been dismissed, Agatharchides said: "Well, this evening has taught me one thing. If ever I find myself in a tight predicament, I want Eudoxos of Kyzikos to come charging in to rescue me. If any representation of mine will effect it, you shall have the captaincy of the expedition!"
Since I had to march in the middle of the parade, I never did get a view of the whole thing. We formed up at the Canopic Gate, where thousands of paraders milled in confusion and Hippalos galloped about on a horse, straightening them out and sending them off, group by group. The procession was only two hours late in starting, which I suppose is pretty good for that sort of thing.
Xenokles and I marched at the head of our delegation, bearing poles between which hung a banner reading KYZIKOS. We trudged the whole length—thirty-five stadia—of Canopic Street, through the old Sun Gate and the main part of the city, breaking up at the Moon Gate at the west end of town. As soon as we had been dismissed, I hastened around the block to see those parts of the parade that were following us.
I was not sorry to miss the herds of Physkon's prize sheep and cattle, or the delegations from the other Hellenic cities. I did see the five elephants in their cloth-of-gold drapes and other animals from Physkon's menagerie: a two-horned African rhinoceros, a striped horse, several lions, leopards, and cheetahs, and antelopes of a dozen kinds.
There were also a number of freak objects carried in carts, which the Ptolemaic workshops had turned out to amuse the Alexandrines. These included a golden 135-foot Bacchic wand, a ninety-foot silver spear (made, I suspect, from a ship's mast), and a 180-foot golden phallus with a nine-foot golden star dangling from its end. The phallus, made of wicker work and covered with gilded cloth, enabled the reigning monarch to make a joke about having the biggest prick in the world. Needless to say, everybody went into gales of laughter on these occasions, although that joke had worn pretty thin from a century of repetition.
Back at the palace, I soaked my feet and relaxed over a jug of wine. Since my roommates on the delegation were out shopping for their womenfolk, I was alone when Hippalos came in, covered with sweat and dirt. I picked up an extra cup to fill it, then hesitated when he sat down opposite me, staring fixedly at me with a curious expression. He seemed to be smiling and scowling at the same time.
"Well?" I said at last, "what is it, man?"
"Furies take you, stinker!" he exclaimed at last.
"Oh?" said I, setting down my cup in case he wanted to make a fight of it. He had a twenty-year advantage of me, but I was still the larger of us and had been in enough rough-and-tumbles to think I could handle him. "What's on your mind?"
"The king took your advice on the expedition. It's going to India by Rama's route. And, by the gods and goddesses, you are to be captain instead of me. Oh, I could have buggered you with a hot iron when I heard it!"
"Herakles! I'm sorry you're disappointed, but we can't both win."
Then he broke into a broad grin, got up, and slapped me on the shoulder. "Don't look so solemn, old boy! I won't bite. Pour me a drink, as you were going to. True, I was as angry at first as a dog whose bone has been snatched. But then I thought: the stars probably intended things this way. Besides, I shan't miss the journey altogether; the king has appointed me your second."
"He has?"
"Yes, sir. You don't think he'd send an outsider like you off with a costly cargo, and nobody from the court to keep an eye on you, do you? So watch your step, old boy." He gazed dreamily off into space. "I have always wanted to study the wisdom of the mysterious East—not this Egyptian fakery, but the real East"
If he wanted to dabble in oriental superstition, that was his affair. I began at once to think of the practical aspects of the journey. "What goods do you think we ought to ship out, and what shall we try to stock for the return journey?"