“You’re not saying anything, sir? How was lunch?” Manami asked from the kitchen, with her back turned.
“Excellent, ma’am, thank you,” Pascal answered, with his back turned towards her.
“Excellent? Only excellent? So it wasn’t exceptional?”
“Yes, ma’am, it was exceptional.”
“That’s alright. I’m just joking with you, sir. Only rare things are exceptional, right?”
“That’s right, ma’am.”
“Make up your mind once and for all!” Pascal returned to his dark thoughts. “Don’t desecrate it! Don’t desecrate your night any more. As soon as you hear that Noah bring the food, or if Seneca… no, not Seneca — the lady’s husband! Please, Pascal, express yourself correctly! So, if the lady’s husband appears… That’s right, Pascal! Bravo! Even you are learning some manners! Then nicely, say goodbye to Mrs. Seneca…”
At that thought, with that image before his eyes, Pascal sighed deeply. He waved his head. “I can’t… I can’t imagine it… That moment… I hold out my hand… and see her for the last time… I can’t… I can’t go on without you, Manami! I can’t!!!”
“Pascal, do you want to test me now,” said Peter, when he too had finished lunch.
“Alright. Bring the tablet.”
“Leave the gentleman be, Peter. He might want to have a little rest after lunch.”
“No, no ma’am…”
“When you’re finished testing Peter, Eir will wake up, then she will want you to play with her. That’s not your responsibility, sir.” Manami stood next to Pascal. “You know what? From now on the three of us will be in our rooms. I will work with Peter. So that you can have a rest from all of us, sir.”
Pascal bowed his head.
“What are you saying, mommy?” Peter shouted. “I want to study with Pascal.”
“And I want to test your knowledge myself, Peter. To see whether it is truly as exceptional as the gentleman claims. Peter’s knowledge is exceptional, isn’t it, sir? That is your favorite expression it seems to me, sir!”
“Yes, it’s exceptional,” whispered Pascal, without raising his head.
Chapter 105
“You have to get through that moment, Pascal. This moment is the price that you have to pay for that night. You just squeeze her hand… Who says that you have to look her in the eyes? Look past her. And you just turn around and run to the elevator.
“Noah will probably come tomorrow. He hasn’t been in a while. Tomorrow! Surely tomorrow! Only that one moment and the end. You go to one of your cities… I won’t go to one of our cities. I won’t. I’ll ask Seneca to explain to me the war situation. Then I’ll go to one of Erivan’s cities. Perhaps even to Capital City? No, not to Capital City. It is entirely controlled by him. I will go to one of the cities where our people are surrounded, where they are losing the battle. Yes, that’s it. Somewhere where I will certainly be killed, already on the first day. I will take a weapon and immediately rush the inspectors. Let them mow me down in an instant. And what if Noah appears now? If I hear the elevator now, in the middle of the night?
“And she’s asleep. How will I say goodbye? How will I see her at least one more time? I cannot… I cannot leave. Let her drive me out! That’s it! I won’t decide anything. I won’t think about anything any more. I don’t have the strength to think. I can only look at her. Only love her.”
“Sir, why are you not sleeping?” asked Manami, entering fully dressed into the living room in the middle of the night.
“I can’t, ma’am,” Pascal kept his eyes pinned to her.
“I feel like tea. I thought of making some, but now I won’t. I don’t want to bother you.”
“You are not bothering me, ma’am. You never…” whispered Pascal.
“Alright, if you say so,” Manami passed next to Pascal and went into the kitchen. She poured water into the kettle. “I’ll make some green tea. It is my husband’s favorite. Actually my husband is exceptionally fond of green tea…”
“My husband! My husband! My husband!!!” Pascal exploded. “As though no one here understands that! It is as though someone here doubts that! That he is your husband, ma’am! The Missis has a husband! Nothing is more important than that! That is the only thing that should be discussed! That is the only thing that should be constantly repeated! My husband! My husband!!!”
“How dare you!?” Manami shouted.
Pascal didn’t pay attention to that; he didn’t listen to her nor did he control himself. He continued to shout.
“Does that husband of yours have a name, perhaps?! As far as I hear, you call him Julius! And when you talk to the children you call him dad. Only when you speak to me, then he is ‘my husband’!”
“What insolence!” Manami shouted, trying to outdo him.
“What do you tell him? ‘Do you want some lunch, my husband? Here you go some green tea, my husband!’ Is that how you speak to him?!”
“You should be ashamed of yourself, sir!? What gives you the right!? You are the last man in world who has the right to say something like that to me!”
“The last?! I know that I’m the last one for you, ma’am! You don’t need to explain that to me! What do you tell him?! ‘Come to our room, to our bed, my husband!’ Is that how you call him?!”
“Shame on you! Shame on you!” screamed Manami, as an uncontrolled rage came over her.
Pascal suddenly fell silent. He awoke from a trans. Only then, when he had gotten it all out of him, did he realize what he had told her.
“Forgive me, ma’am… forgive me, please…” he passed by her, on his way to his room. “As soon as your husband comes, I will leave… Forgive me, please… You will never see me again… forgive me…” He was already near the door.
Manami ran after him, around him, opened his door, grabbed him by the hand and pulled him strongly into his quarters.
“Close the door and turn on the light!” she said angrily, sharply, with a whisper. Pascal did as she said. “Where is your room?!” she asked, louder.
“Here… over here,” Pascal said.
Manami burst into the middle of the large dormitory, turned to Pascal and ordered him
“Close the door and turn on the light in the room!”
Pascal did so.
“I won’t let you wake my children, sir!” Manami was now shouting as loud as she could.
“Forgive me… forgive me…”
Manami rushed at him and pushed him.
“At least I have one husband!” she pressed her hands against his chest and pushed him. “And you, sir?!” she shouted. “How are you surviving in bed alone, for so long?! Without all those women of yours?! How?!”
Pascal watched her lips twitch and ever muscle on her face tremble.
“I know how! You have your memories! You have so many of them that you can remember a different woman every night!”
“I don’t remember…” Pascal whispered.
“If this were to last another hundred years, you wouldn’t lack the memories! You won’t, sir!”
“I don’t remember anyone. Anyone…” Pascal took her clenched white fists in his hands.
“Let me go!” she said, pulling back her hand. “Don’t touch me! I’m not one of your women! I’m not! Tell me one thing, which one do you think of most often? Which one do you dream of the best?”
“No one… only you… only you…” he whispered.
“That Svetlana of yours!? The youngest, isn’t she? If even she is young enough for Mr. Alexander?! Not one is young enough for the gentleman, isn’t that right?”