“Chance circumstance?” Dr. Palladino was surprised. “But you told me that you strived to get to that room.”
“Yes, that is true.”
“It is interesting that you didn’t choose a technical vocation, so that you would be hired there.”
“I didn’t because I was already a philosophy student. And not only because of that. I had to train myself to kill. How could I, as an engineer in the Command manage to kill the entire crew?”
“I understand.”
“That is why I decided to impose myself on Erivan. For him to recruit me into his squads. I started actively doing track and field, I wrote papers celebrating Humane Capitalism, ratting out Non-Consumers to the Inspectorate, and so on. And he bought it. It later turned out that I was an excellent squire. With my Ph.D. I finally gained Erivan’s trust. Of course, in direct communication with him I constantly catered to his ego.”
“Where do you see the chance circumstance?”
“There were a number of them. It could have happened that despite all my efforts I was not recruited, or that I was average, an unnoticed squire. There were countless dangerous situations where I could have been killed. It could have happened that Erivan didn’t trust me entirely, that he didn’t send me to the Command.”
“You could have taken a spaceship on your own and come to the Command under some pretext, even earlier. Wasn’t that feasible? You didn’t have to wait for Erivan to kill the Kaellas.”
“Without his letter of authorization I wouldn’t have been able to get past the Command’s shield. It is impenetrable. Erivan has sent ships against me in the meantime. Of course, I destroyed them as soon as they took off, but even if they reached the Command or any of the collectors in the energy system, they would not have been able to penetrate the shield.”
“You didn’t talk about the ships with Erivan. At least not on the recording that I saw.” Dr. Palladino was surprised.
“We both pretended that it wasn’t happening. And that was in the very beginning, when I started switching off energy to Consumer cities too.
“It became clear to him then that he had lost. And just like any ruler who had lost, who was powerless, Erivan too escaped into his own world. He hid in his image of himself.
“These images actually represent the rulers’ last excuses to kill. Because of them they killed in the most demented fashion, using the means that were still available to them.
“And I helped Erivan decorate his image with jewels from the abundant treasury of the history of mankind.”
Chapter 135
“I told Julius last night to go to bed immediately,” Manami started, as soon as Peter had gone to sleep.
Pascal got up from the dining room table and started for his door.
“Come back!” Manami said in a commanding manner.
Pascal stopped for a moment, then slowly turned around and sat in his place, eyes fixed on the table.
“I returned to the kitchen and did some more work. After that I went to the bathroom and stayed there for a while. Much longer than usual.”
“Why are you telling me that? What do I care?” Pascal muttered, without raising his eyes.
“When I finally went to my room, Julius was fast asleep.”
“And when he woke up?” Pascal whispered, looking at his fingers, intertwining them nervously.
“I don’t know when he woke up and left. I was sleeping and I didn’t hear him.”
“You’re not lying?”
“I’m not lying.”
“How… how can I believe you? How can I be sure? How can I go to sleep?” Pascal said in a fast whisper.
“I know how,” Manami said calmly.
“How?”
“Look me in the eye and you will be sure.”
Pascal finally raised his eyes and saw her two magnificent honest eyes looking back at him. He smiled.
“Do you believe me now?” she asked.
“Yes. Thank you, Manami. Thank you very much.”
“How did you survive it, Pascal?”
“It was horrific! I was going mad, mad I say! Had you not cleverly warned me that Peter would tell his father how I was behaving, I wouldn’t have come out of my room until he came around again. And then I would have left here for good. Because, Manami, I couldn’t survive another night like that.”
“I didn’t mean that,” Manami smiled.
“No?”
“I asked how you survived without seeing me all day?”
“Manami… my love…” whispered Pascal, caressing her with his eyes.
“Well, for that look you deserve dinner. You’d better eat while I look in on the children and put on my nightgown.”
“And what will happen next time, Manami?” Pascal asked as soon as she sat down next to him. “He hasn’t spent a single night here so far. I guess that’s why I’ve convinced myself that he never will. And that’s why I’m asking you now, Manami, what will happen the next time that he lies next to you?” Pascal jumped off the couch. “What do I care if you didn’t make love! I won’t let him lie in your bed! I won’t let him touch you! I won’t let him even look at you anymore!”
Manami got up and tried to hug him.
“Let me go,” Pascal pulled out of her arms. “What use do I have from your hugs? Answer me, Manami!”
“Pascal, this is too important to discuss this way,” said Manami in a serious tone. “It will be the way that the two of us agree on. When the two of us make up our minds.”
Pascal sat down on the couch.
“So, we have to discuss it,” he said. “You won’t tell him that he can’t sleep in your bed.”
“I’ll tell him, if the two of us agree on it.”
“There it is again! If the two of us agree on it! As the two of us agree! I have nothing to discuss with you! I’ve clearly said what I have to say! I won’t let him enter your room!”
“Alright, Pascal. Then that’s settled. There, you see how quickly we reached an agreement?”
“What did we agree on?! We didn’t agree on anything!”
“Yes, we’ve agreed. The next time that he sits here at this table and when he says that he will spend the night here, I’ll tell him in front of the children that I won’t permit him, because I’m in love with you and that only you can sleep with me.”
Pascal didn’t say anything.
“Why are you silent now? That’s what we’ve decided and that’s it. We won’t talk about it any more,” Manami concluded.
“And what will happen then?” Pascal asked quietly.
“I don’t know. Whatever happens will happen. We’ll think about it then,” Manami said in a calm voice.
“It can’t be like that, Manami. I can’t do that to you; for him to take the children because of me; to separate you from them… that’s out of the question.”
“My darling, my darling…” Manami caressed him. “I didn’t want to have to convince you. I wanted you to think for yourself. And why didn’t you sleep all night, silly? Why did you pout all day? Didn’t you hear Julius say at the table how tired he was? Don’t you know, my love, where Eir sleeps?”
“I thought that you moved her to the other room.”
“I didn’t. She slept between us.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“And what if he comes once and… wants to be with you… I can’t even say it!”
“Then I’ll tell him everything, Pascal.”