Chapter 136
“How then did you get name Grasshopper?” Dr. Palladino asked. “Because you stalked your victims and waited unnoticed for days, until the right moment? And then you pounced like a grasshopper from the grass?”
“Grasshoppers are herbivores, Dr. Palladino,” laughed the Grasshopper. “Its not because of that. That’s what people say. Erivan called me Grasshopper because I held the record at the Megapolis University for the high jump. He was keen on giving squires the names of animals.”
“But it’s true that you enjoyed completely surprising your victim?”
“Enjoyed? I wouldn’t put it that way. I did that whenever it was possible, so that I could see the victims eyes the moment that they saw me.”
“Why?”
“Because at that moment, which is very, very short, you see true, genuine, primeval, original fear. That is the moment when reason becomes aware that the end of life has come. The next moment the fear is gone and it is replaced by horror, disbelief, powerlessness, sorrow, despair, begging, prayer, anger, defiance, hatred, panic, hysteria… something else. But never sadness. People aren’t capable of being sad. Have you ever been sad, Dr. Palladino?”
“I don’t know. In that sense, and it seems that you have somehow isolated sadness, that you give it special meaning — I think I haven’t.”
“You certainly haven’t. No one has. But let’s put that aside. I’d like to ask you something else, Doctor. Why were you playing Russian roulette? Charlie told me that he found you in the middle of a game.”
“It just happened,” Dr. Palladino answered. “A poker partner had disappeared. After a while I learned that he had died playing Russian roulette… When the war started… when snipers appeared in every block, firing squads, widespread raping of women and girls… when my job became pointless… when the only thing that gave my life meaning disappeared… I went to play Russian roulette.”
“And why did hunting killers mean so much to you?”
“You’ll laugh at me. Because of Hercule Poirot.”
“The Agatha Christie character?” the Grasshopper was surprised.
“Yes. I read her books countless times.”
“Really? Isn’t it boring when you know who the killer is?”
“No. Even when I read one of her books for the first time I wouldn’t try to discover the villain. I would simply let the lady take me wherever she wanted to. I enjoyed the atmosphere of her novels.”
“And what influence did Hercule Poirot have on you?”
“He simply said ‘I do not approve of murder.” And that was the only thing that was truly important to me, my entire life. The only thing that I care about.”
“And you know why?”
“I know. I admire people who appreciate, who love life, who rejoice it, enjoy it. I consider this to a gift that I do not have, and that is why I do not approve that the lives of such people be taken.”
“You are an interesting man, Dr. Palladino.”
“On the contrary, I’m very dull…”
“I’ve remembered something else… something I’ve wanted to ask you several times, Mr. Grasshopper.”
“Ask away.”
“Have you read Tolstoy?”
“Of course. Are you thinking of his thoughts about the importance of individuals in history? If he were with us today he would know that the role of the individual sitting at this desk is crucial.”
“Certainly. But I was thinking of Anna Karenina.”
“Anna Karenina?” the Grasshopper was surprised.
“Yes. Tolstoy’s introductory statement, that all happy families are alike and unhappy ones are not, seemed monstrous to me.”
“Why?”
“Because in it he suggests to the reader that they should be unhappy.”
“How did you come to that conclusion?”
“Why would someone seek happiness if it is dull? Always the same. Like your neighbor’s. And now I’m certain that the claim is incorrect. At least in its second part.”
“Why?”
“Look at the Earth, Mr. Grasshopper. Misery is dull. Pain is dull. The same for all people, endless.”
“And you wish to test the truth of the first part of Tolstoy’s claim on my case?” the Grasshopper raised his voice. “Because you think that I am happy now. And you want to hear from me that my happiness is equal and dull this entire time. And that I will stop what I am doing and kill myself because of the dullness. And with Hercule Poirot you tried to make me empathize with the people that love life. Dr. Palladino, I do not know how to feel, nor empathize. I only know how to think. I feel neither happiness, nor sadness, nor satisfaction, nor dullness, nothing. I only know how to read the feelings in the eyes of other people. To understand and classify them. To draw conclusions from them and form opinions. And to act based on those opinions. I’m a little disappointed in you, I must admit.”
“It’s all clear to me, Mr. Grasshopper,” Dr. Palladino said loudly, getting up from his chair. “But I simply have no ideas, I don’t! My greatest problem is that… I want to tell you that with Tolstoy and dullness I made a desperate attempt, but not with Poirot. You asked me why hunting killers meant so much to me, and I answered you honestly and precisely.”
“It’s alright, Doctor,” said the Grasshopper in a calm tone again. “Continue. You wanted to say something else. What is your greatest problem?”
“It’s that I find no faults in your opinions. Your actions based on these opinions are horrific. But I cannot change that. I was hoping, this entire time, that I would find a crack… some inconsistency in your thinking. That I would point it out to you, that you would change your mind, at least in some detail, that you would act differently because of it… you would do that, I’m certain.”
“I would.”
“But I can’t find it… I’m not educated enough, I wasn’t interested in all that… You probably wouldn’t accept to talk to other experts… historians…”
“My last conversation is with you, Dr. Palladino.”
“That’s clear to me… Alright, like this… Tell me, what do you think about Pascal Alexander? You mentioned him only once. And the strength of his movement, which would topple Kaella, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
“So you know how he thinks? His conclusions?”
“I do.”
“Can you tell me what you think of them? They are the complete opposite of yours. They are full of life energy, optimism, hope. Can you tell me why they are wrong?”
“I can.”
Chapter 137
“First of all, I’m immensely grateful to Mr. Pascal Alexander. Without him I would never have had the opportunity to sit at this desk. Someone else would have appeared, undoubtedly. But not at the right moment. Not at the moment when I was ready,” the Grasshopper said.
“So, Pascal made it possible for you to kill? That is a very unfair claim, Mr. Grasshopper!” Dr. Palladino said angrily.
“That’s the way it is, Dr. Palladino. Mr. Alexander made it possible for me. Had he not, someone else would have done the same for the Kaellas, another Erivan… another Grasshopper. The absolute weapon is there. The only question is who would pull the trigger and when. Like in the theater, when there is a rifle hanging on the wall. Everyone knows that it will go off by the end of the play.”
“Your logic is horrific! Awful! I simply don’t accept it, Mr. Grasshopper!” Dr. Palladino got up from the chair and angrily paced around the office.
“It’s not my logic. I’m not original in any way,” the Grasshopper continued in a calm voice. “My answer, that I will kill all people because I can, also isn’t original. Everyone killed because they could. Or at least because they thought that they could.