“And I immediately, without thinking, instantly, Pascal, told him that it wasn’t a need, that it’s a great love, that we’re crazy in love and that we can’t live without each other. I was preparing to rush into your room and get you, but he was faster. He didn’t say a thing. He just turned around and left.”
Chapter 144
“It’s not only that I can’t survive without the children, Pascal. They need me, too. And I don’t mean only my physical presence,” said Manami, when they calmed down and sat down on their cover. “Not only to care for them, provide for them, look out for them: they need me spiritually too.
“I give to them and I have to give to them until they grow up, something that Julius cannot provide. Something that he doesn’t have. I don’t know how to describe it. But I feel it. I know it. I’m certain of it. And it’s something that both of them need in order to develop their personalities.
“Not only Eir. Peter needs this from me, too. He is like his father in appearance and in intelligence, the way that he thinks… And his character takes after Julius, mainly. I mean mainly in span, in quantity…
“But I have a corner in Peter. And that corner is very important. You see yourself that he is actually a sincere and cheerful child.”
“Yes, Manami. You’re right. I’m delighted when he is so joyful. And when I see how happy it makes you.”
“That’s right. And that’s why Peter needs me. To defend and safeguard that joy, that merriness, as you put it, from the world.”
“Don’t worry, darling. We won’t allow Julius to take away your children. He also isn’t that type of person, Manami. He wouldn’t take children away from their mother. The mayor is a good man.”
“He puts family above all other things, Pascal. No… perhaps that isn’t the right word. Perhaps we aren’t more important than anything else. He has his… mission. The way that he sees it. And the family, the faithful wife and good, well-behaved children — he considers them a given. He never would have thought, never would have considered that it could be any differently. If it had crossed his mind… only once… only one fleeting thought… he would have never left me alone with you.”
“And what now, Manami? Will we wait for his move or will we leave this place on our own?”
“We won’t leave our shelter until we have to, Pascal. Here the four of us are together. I didn’t even think it through seriously until now. I kept postponing, waiting for it to happen. And now that it’s happened…” Manami suddenly raised her head from his shoulder. “Now I don’t even need to think, Pascal!” She said loudly. “Now I know! I probably knew the entire time, I’m sure I did…”
“What, Manami? What did you know?”
“But I didn’t want to admit it to myself, didn’t want to say it…”
“What? Tell me.”
“Because I would have a guilty conscious and I wouldn’t be able to completely give in to my love. Yes, that’s it. I’m sure it is!”
“What didn’t you admit to yourself? Well, tell me. Stop torturing me.”
“Julius won’t throw us out of the shelter, Pascal.”
“He won’t? Then what?” Pascal asked.
“He’ll do something to himself.”
Chapter 145
“Thank you for turning on the energy and stopping the vaporizations,” Dr. Palladino said at the beginning of his last conversation with the Grasshopper.
“You’re welcome.”
“You asked me at the beginning what I thought was the reason why you were talking to me. And I said because you were bored. Do you remember that?”
“Yes.”
“You responded that you were talking to me because you were bored, because you longed for a conversation with an intellectual and because you wanted to see what your psychological profile was like.”
“Exactly.”
“No. None of that is true.”
“No?”
“One serial killer that we were looking for wrote to the Inspectorate begging them to catch him, to stop him.”
“And? Did you catch him?”
“That same moment. Because he wrote that in an email from his workplace, from his office.”
“So, Doctor, you didn’t get much glory in that case, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Dr. Palladino, you think that through our conversation I have actually been asking you to catch me and stop me?”
“Yes, the entire time.”
“Well, then catch me, please, Dr. Palladino. I’m waiting for you. You know where I am, at my workplace.”
“It’s not funny. On that first day, when I heard your answer that you kill because you can, I wanted to leave this office.”
“I remember.”
“I told you that I was leaving because I believed that I couldn’t persuade you to stop killing. Do you remember what you told me then, Mr. Grasshopper?”
“I remember.”
“You claimed, correctly, that I cannot be completely certain of that.”
“Yes. And I still think so.”
“Now let me ask you, Mr. Grasshopper, can you be completely certain that Pascal Alexander’s Third Renaissance will not bring something that is presently unimaginable to us now? Something that might enable life to defeat the collective Thanatos?”
“Of course I can’t be completely certain. A person cannot be absolutely certain of anything. But what does that change, Dr. Palladino?”
“You told me that by leaving I would become your accomplice. And I stayed.”
“I really don’t see any parallel. The fact that I’m not certain whether anything would develop from something that doesn’t exist at all, does not make me your accomplice.”
“I agree. It doesn’t make you my accomplice. It makes me your accomplice. And this time I agree to it.”
“I admit that I don’t understand you, Doctor.”
“You understand, you understand. I agree to be your accomplice in your transformation from an absolute killer to a man who sent a warning to the world. A warning that people will never forget.”
“A warning? You’ve come to the conclusion that I only warned mankind and that now I will stop this?”
“Yes. And that is why I expect you to kill yourself.”
“I will. In the end.”
“No, not in the end… soon, as soon as possible. You didn’t only warn people, Mr. Grasshopper. You did much more than that. You saved them from certain death. You saved the world from an apocalypse. You prevented Erivan from taking over the command desk.”
“Doctor, according to that logic Erivan can also be considered a contributor because he prevented the Kaellas from reaching this position. It’s just history repeating itself, Dr. Palladino. Everything remains the same. The typical struggle for domination between a few strongmen. Outmaneuvering, undermining, intrigues, assassinations… And the victims don’t care which one of them will kill them in the end. The victims are always only victims.”
Chapter 146
“What are you saying, Manami? You’re probably overreacting. You’re too excited now. Let’s talk about something else, and we’ll come back to this later. When we calm down.”
“Julius knows how much everyone respects him,” Manami continued, without listening to Pascal. “He knows that he is a great man. And that’s what’s most important to him. He is a proud man. And he thinks… he’s probably right, that he would lose that respect if people learned that his wife cheated on him. Not only cheated — but left him. He cannot allow that. He will not allow that! I’m sure he won’t!” Manami raised her voice.