“Alright, my love, alright…” Pascal tried to calm her.
“I don’t know how he’ll do it, Pascal, how he’ll disappear from this world, while being remembered as the great, undefeated, untainted Julius Seneca, the Mayor of Megapolis.”
“He is great, Manami, and he will go down in history as such,” Pascal said.
“Yes, yes he is… of course. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ridiculing his pride. I only understand it. Such people like Julius, such as my late father, the general, I understand them best. I grew up beside them, lived… my entire life. Julius is now thinking… but he is not thinking about us, Pascal. Nor is he thinking about the children, trust me. He has already accepted the fact that he is a cheated husband and now he is just looking for a solution how to come out of that without being humiliated. And Julius always finds a solution. Always. And the only solution that I see… It can be only his… or my… or our death.”
“Manami, please don’t talk that way. It’s not the end of the world…”
“But not murder… or suicide,” Manami wasn’t listening to him. “Some type of death, I don’t know… in a traffic accident… I’m talking nonsense! There’s a war out there! Countless opportunities for death. A death that conceals everything, erases everything… like nothing happened.”
“Manami, please stop. Don’t say anything more. You’re in shock, my love… you’re out of your mind. Let’s sleep on it…”
“That’s the way it is, Pascal. You don’t understand it. You’re not that type of man. You’re not interested in your public image or your place in history.”
“You’re the only thing that’s important to me, Manami.”
“I know that, my darling. But you weren’t interested in those things even before you met me.”
“I wasn’t, you’re right. I just wanted to be free.”
“Think about it. What would you do if I left you?”
“How can you say that to me, Manami?! I would never say something like that to you!”
“I know. Forgive me… but answer me. What would you do?”
“I’d kill myself. That very instant. A bullet to the hearth. In front of you.”
“There, you see how simple it is. And you tell me that I’m exaggerating. I’m not exaggerating. Julius too will kill himself… or he’ll kill us… but for his own reason.”
“I won’t allow him, Manami. Here, I know what I’ll do. I’ll go out of the shelter and talk to him. Man to man. We’re not the only adulterers in the world, right?”
Chapter 147
“Let’s put that aside, Mr. Grasshopper. You’ve explained what this world is like. You’ve sent your warning. You’re aware that your mission has been successfully completed. And that’s why you’re begging me to stop you somehow,” said Dr. Palladino.
“And Doctor, you now expect me to raise my revolver and shoot myself?” the Grasshopper laughed.
“No. I know that’s not how it goes. I have a different proposition.”
“Do you? What is it? I’ve been wondering all this time what you will come up with. Where do you get such self-confidence? This order of yours to turn on energy for the people was quite cute. I barely kept myself from bursting into laughter.”
“But you switched it on nonetheless.”
“Because I can switch it off again at any time.”
“I know.”
“And decisions that there is no turning back after require a much stronger reason than my temporary sympathy.”
“Or an excuse,” said Dr. Palladino.
“An excuse?”
“Yes. I hear your cry, Mr. Grasshopper. ‘Come, Dr. Palladino, stop me!’ but I can’t come to you and kill you. Instead of that I can give you an excuse to kill yourself. The entire time you have been expecting a good excuse from me. You can admit that much to yourself.”
“Perhaps. Do you have it?”
“Perhaps. You’ve been claiming the entire time that throughout the history of mankind only the excuses for killing have changed.”
“Exactly.”
“And that they themselves are not important. That it isn’t at all important whether it is an idea, membership in a group, greed…”
“Yes. Completely irrelevant.”
“It is important to exercise the instinct to kill? Any excuse is good?”
“Precisely.”
“So, if every excuse for killing is good, then every excuse is good to stop killing, Mr. Grasshopper.”
“You were very cunning coming up with that,” the Grasshopper smiled. “Let’s accept that. But these excuses for killing are in fact notions. They have their names, they have meaning…”
“The excuse to stop killing which I place in your hands has both a name and a meaning.”
“And that is?”
“Luck.”
“Luck?” the Grasshopper was surprised.
“Yes. Do you remember when you told me how you strived and what all you did to get to the command desk?”
“I remember.”
“You imposed yourself on Erivan as the logical choice for his squads, won over his trust, wrote your doctoral thesis…”
“I know what you’re saying.”
“What?”
“That in the end it was luck that decided. Because I told you that it could have happened that I wasn’t recruited, that I was killed in action, a number of factors… and that’s true. I still think that.”
“You’re a smart man, Mr. Grasshopper, a man who knows that despite all the effort, knowledge, abilities, in life it also takes luck to achieve goals. You are a man who is reduced to sitting at a command desk thanks to yourself and to luck.”
“That’s right. I agree.”
“That’s why you are a man who will allow the world to try its luck one last time. You will allow for the die to be cast one more time.”
Chapter 148
“First of all, you’re not going anywhere, Pascal. Second, you’re not listening to me at all or you’re not understanding what I’m saying. I’m not in shock, Pascal. I’ve known the entire time that this moment would come. I’m just thinking intensely right now.”
“Alright, Manami, if that’s what you want, let’s think together. Let’s say that the mayor decides to kill only me. That’s emotionally the simplest for him. Do you agree?”
“I don’t agree,” Manami said firmly.
“Why? Explain it to me,” said Pascal.
“He won’t raise his hand against us. He would never threaten the life of another person. That’s what I think. But the two of us cannot rely on my opinion, because Julius was never in such a situation. Humiliated like this. Now I’m thinking about what he could do. What are the options that he has available?
“He cannot bring the inspectors to our shelter to arrest you and take you away, because he knows, he’s aware that… but even if he wasn’t sure of that, he cannot dismiss that possibility… that I’d jump on the inspectors, pull you from them, scream… in front of the children… in front of Peter.
“Such a scene in front of his son could destroy Julius. He cannot take such a chance. Even if he were only to send Noah… or come himself… the same thing would happen in front of Peter. No… he would never allow that, for any reason. To be humiliated in front of his son.
“He doesn’t have any choice… Julius is powerless, Pascal, while we are in the shelter. He must find a way to get us out of the shelter, all together, all four of us… and then to somehow separate us… to get you away from us… or you and me, together, away from the children.”