‘Oh,’ Michael said. ‘Sorry. I saw the messages, it’s just been…’
‘No, I understand, my boy.’ Enzio became even more jovial. ‘So are you enjoying your new position? They’re obviously keeping you very busy—’
One, I need you in my office right now, Michael’s father said telepathically.
On my way, my Lord.
Enzio was still talking. ‘—And if you ever want to come back to us in Hong Kong—’
Michael cut him off. ‘It’s in my father’s firm, Enzio. My dad’s been very good about helping me, Clarissa was in a severe car accident shortly after both of us left—’
NOW, One.
My Lord.
‘Oh that’s terrible. Is she all right?’
Enzio’s voice was full of sympathy but his falseness was clearly audible: Clarissa had been a second-quality staff member to him. He’d promoted Michael quickly even though Clarissa was obviously more skilled.
‘She’ll get there, but I have to go, my dad’s in my ear, he wants me right now. Thanks for calling, Enzio—’
ONE!
‘Bye.’ Michael dropped his head and teleported to his father’s office, then slipped his phone into the pocket of his White Horseman’s uniform. The White Tiger, Celestial Emperor of the Western Heavens, was in human form; a muscular Chinese warrior with golden skin and white hair, sitting at his desk with a pile of papers in front of him.
‘When I say now I mean now, One.’ He waved for Michael to sit across the desk from him.
‘Sorry,’ Michael said. ‘My old boss keeps harassing me about returning to work for him…’
‘This is a human, right? On the Earthly Plane?’
‘My Lord.’
The Tiger shuffled the papers. ‘And you’re wasting your time,’ he glared at Michael, ‘being polite to this bastard? Block him. You have more important things to do. If I find you talking to humans again, I’ll cut your fucking head off. Now.’ He pushed the papers across the desk to Michael. ‘Deal with this.’ He rose and headed towards the door.
‘Wait, this is the budget for the next twelve months — I helped Rohan prepare this! We need you to make a decision about whether—’
The Tiger cut him off again. ‘No, you don’t. You make the decisions. I don’t want to worry about it. I’ll be in the harem, and if you disturb me, I’ll cut more than your head off. Handle it.’ He walked out.
Rohan?
Yeah, Mike?
You were right. We have to make all the decisions. Meet in my office.
’Kay. Rohan’s voice filled with amusement. Good luck making these calls – get it wrong and Dad will tear your head off.
I could resign and stand aside so that you’re acting Number One Son until he finds a replacement…
Rohan’s mental voice became fierce. Don’t you fucking dare. See you in five.
Michael had the budget open in front of him when Rohan came in and sat.
‘You don’t need me,’ Rohan said. ‘You’re the most experienced one in the Western Palace for handling this sort of shit. Just do it.’
‘I wish I had the up-to-date figures on the commodity markets, turning it into platinum, or something like titanium, might be more worthwhile,’ Michael said. ‘When I was back with Enzio, it was all in front of me. Who would I talk to about arranging it?’
‘No,’ Rohan said, ‘delegate it. You have too much other stuff to worry about.’ He saw the way Michael was looking at him. ‘Not me! Pass it on to a financial management firm. Let them decide where the gold goes.’
‘A hundred metric tonnes,’ Michael said with exasperation. ‘A hundred tonnes of gold, and it’s worthless. We sell it on the Earthly, we drive the price of gold down and hurt ourselves and the world economy; something we’re sworn to protect. We keep it, it’s doing nothing. What the hell was Greg thinking?’
‘He was planning to employ stones to fashion it into high-end jewellery and sell it for celestial jade,’ Rohan said.
Michael leaned back. ‘Clever. Good plan, turning gold that costs us nothing into jade that’s worth something here on the Celestial. So what happened? Why isn’t the storehouse full of jade instead of gold?’
‘The stones died. The demons kidnapped them and experimented on them and too many of them died.’
‘And the Grandmother of All the Rocks took the survivors home with her in disgust. I see.’ Michael sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. ‘Can we spare half-a-dozen people to create a fake gold mine?’
‘You know the answer to that.’
‘Hmm.’ Michael contacted the head of the Seraglio Elite Guard. William?
Rohan heard it and grinned. He knew what was coming.
Fuck off I’m on my break.
Rohan’s grin widened.
Michael ignored William’s griping. I know, I saw Dad go down there. Are any of the wives experts at financial management?
You are referring to the wives of our father the White Tiger, yes?
I am.
And you’re seriously asking me this question?
Oh come on, there have to be one or two he met while he was in the city…
Our father does not favour women with brains.
Rohan interrupted. Wrong. Women with brains do not favour our father.
Number Two has a valid point, William said. Any woman with half a brain would steer well clear of him.
It was worth a try, we have financial issues and someone with access to the current trading figures would be very useful.
Hold on, William said, and was quiet for a moment. Hey, leave it with me for a while. I’m dating a dragon who does that sort of thing in the Eastern Palace, he may have access to the info you need. I’ll see if he can help.
Thanks, man, you’re the best.
Oh shit, I hear screaming. Someone missed her turn with Dad. Later.
Michael sighed. ‘Clarissa would know what to do.’
‘Michael, Clarissa’s not the solution to everything.’
‘She is to me.’ Michael closed the budget folder. ‘Leave the gold where it is until William gets back to us. Trickle sell it as we always do, but we need to find another source of income – real Celestial income, not this Earthly crap – soon, because we all know what’s coming.’
‘Is it really?’
‘It is.’
Rohan studied him intensely. ‘How much can you see?’
‘Since I was promoted to Number One, more than I want to. War, Rohan. War with demonkind – bloody, unrelenting, and brutal. There’s a good chance the Celestial will lose and we’ll all end up being tortured in the tenth level of Hell for a long time.’
‘How long a long time?’
‘Long enough to regret accepting Immortality, brother.’
The next day Michael was going through the metal commodity prices on the internet when Rohan came in and flopped into the seat across the desk from him, his grin wide.
‘Anything useful for me, or you just here to be decorative?’ Michael said without looking away from the screen.
‘We found a big nest. Really big nest. Hundreds of them. Want to come help?’
Michael dropped the mouse and pushed himself away from the desk, then stopped and wheeled himself back again. ‘No. I’m too busy. You can handle it. How many are you taking with you?’