Frank chuckled as he looked at Martha. “Well, Marty, I guess there goes the new stove and refrigerator.”
“Frank,” Koesler protested, “you don’t have to do this. We won’t be begging; we’re simply stating that you can’t afford this big a financial commitment.”
“Father, I pay my way. Always have. Is that the whole package?”
Koesler hesitated. He knew what final demand would be required. So far, in his young priestly life, he had never had to ask anyone to make such a promise. But, in all candor, he had to clue them into the entire picture. “There’s one final promise required of you. And that … it’s that for however long this case takes to be processed, you and Martha will live as brother and sister.”
The atmosphere in Father Koesler’s small office became leaden.
Martha reached out and took Frank’s hand. “I’m afraid, Father,” she said firmly, “that’s too much. Too much by far.”
She stood up. “I’m sorry we put you to all this trouble, Father. You’ve been very kind-and for that we’re grateful. But”-she shook her head-”that’s just too much. How could the Church …” She reached for her handkerchief and wiped back tears. “Come on, Frankie, let’s-”
“Now, hold on, Marty …” Frank patted her hand. “We gotta remember the stakes in this whole thing. We’re playing for a big jackpot. Think of all the years we’ve wanted to be at peace with the Church. I’ve wanted it almost as much as you do-because you want it so much. I say let’s give ’er a crack. At least we can trust the salesman …” He smiled at Koesler, then at Martha. “I like this young man. And I say, Let’s give it a try.”
“Are you sure, Frankie? Are you sure it means this much to you?”
“Aye.” He smiled reassuringly at her again. “I am.”
He turned back to the priest. “When’s our first instruction, Father?”
Koesler checked his desk log. “We’re closing out this week. How about Monday … Monday evening at, say, nine?”
“Nine it is then,” Frank affirmed. As he and Martha stood up, he put his arm around her waist. “Come on, Marty. Be of good cheer. We haven’t even begun the process. We can do it. We will do it.”
Koesler saw the couple to the door and bade them farewell.
As he prepared for bed, he. could not help but think over this evening’s final appointment. A young priest, he had just begun a vocation that ruled out marriage. And with that, given the virtue of chastity, his life would be asexual. Some of his seniors assured him that in time it would be easier to live without a woman.
So far he was so enraptured with the newness and thrill of being a priest that he hadn’t really given much reflection to the celibate life.
Thus he could not fully measure how life would change for Frank and Martha after the instructions were completed and the process toward dissolution had begun.
The sacrifice was painfully clear to Frank and Martha. But they would give their word. And that, to them, was binding.
9
Based on a two-per-week schedule, the instructions moved right along.
Koesler’s concern that this phase of the procedure might be a sham clearly was misplaced. Frank took an active interest in the books Koesler recommended. Nor did Koesler have any opportunity to lecture: Frank did almost as much talking as listening. Indeed, many of Frank’s questions taxed mightily those supportive books on Koesler’s shelves.
The instructions were completed just after Christmas.
It had been a wonderfully spiritual season for everyone. It was Koesler’s first Christmas as a priest. Though utterly exhausted from hearing countless confessions, he was exhilarated by the unique liturgy of the Nativity as well as by the seasonal goodwill of a depth and spirit to capture the heart even of Scrooge.
It was a grand time also for the Morrises. They had taken to attending Mass at St. William’s. Since they were not recognized as parishioners at Nativity parish, they felt at ease and were welcomed by Father Koesler at St. William’s.
Instructions complete, it was time to enter phases two and three. The first of these was to properly and carefully prepare the petition. Koesler conferred frequently with his Canon Law professor to make certain that everything was being done “by the book” and that no bases were left untouched.
The second part-or phase three-was initiated. Money was sent with the petition. And the Morrises began their new “brother and sister” relationship. It was a time of expectation, hope, and prayer.
Except that the time became endless.
Months passed and no word. No word at all. Sometimes it was difficult for Koesler and the Morrises to remember what life had been before this grand adventure.
More months.
Occasionally and apologetically, one or the other Morris would stop by after Mass or perhaps phone, just to make sure no notification had come in. Invariably Father Koesler would assure them that nothing had happened. He would also assure them that just as soon as any word was received, he would let them know immediately.
After two and a half years, the lives of the Morrises had stretched so taut that Frank and Martha almost began to wish word would never come. As long as they no longer wondered and worried at the start of each day whether they would ever hear from the Curia in Rome, things would be better. The decision-granted or denied-seemed increasingly unreal. The mere act of waiting became the only reality.
Then the call came.
Father Koesler visited them in the evening, having earlier phoned to make sure they would both be in.
Martha was certain from the tone of Father’s voice that their waiting was over and, also from his voice, that the petition had been denied.
Frank did not want to speculate on either possibility.
But neither could eat any dinner.
At seven, as promised, Father Koesler arrived. When they were all seated, he delivered the negative verdict with more sympathy and compassion that he would have thought he possessed.
The petition had been denied.
All that work and sacrifice and prayer for literally nothing.
Martha seemed to shrink a bit as she absorbed the finality of Rome’s decision.
Father Koesler-who seldom cried-was barely able to hold back tears.
Frank alone kept his head. “Is there anything else we can do, Father?”
“If there is, I don’t know what,” Koesler said. “And neither does anyone else I consulted earlier today. Without using any names, I checked in with my Canon Law professor and a couple of older priests whose judgment I respect. Nothing.”
“How about this ‘brother and sister’ that we’ve been doing for the past couple of years?” Frank probed. “The Vatican seems to be terribly interested in our sex lives. How about if we promise no sex for the rest of our lives? Or at least until my former wife dies?”
“Frankie!” Martha was shocked.
“That’s okay, Martha,” Koesler reassured her. “The same thought occurred to me, Frank. I didn’t think you’d be open to that option, but it never hurts to check … so I did. It seems the Vatican thinks you’re both too young to make such a long-term promise. No …” He shook his head. “… it won’t work. Nothing will.”
Koesler did not think it right to drop this bomb of rejection and just walk away. So he settled in for a long visit.
Martha made coffee and the conversation rambled over many subjects. At last, Koesler felt that their churning stomachs had settled and the Morrises were more at ease than they had been.
He reminded them over and over that as they loved God, so God loved them. Their consciences were at peace with God. And that was what mainly counted.
However, even as he spoke, he wondered about the widening dichotomy between their consciences and Church law. According to the “rules,” they were “living in sin.” But, somehow, he was unable to see this. He had never before felt this way about Church law. He found this disturbing.