'Married with one kid. No poodle. You remember Dave, don't you? Captain of the football team? But you didn't play football at school, did you?'
Kevin shook his head. 'Er, no. But I knew him.'
Everyone at school had known Dave. He played almost every sport for the school. That made him hated by the boys as much as he was loved by the girls. Worse, he was good-looking, always had money and never got spots.
Debs's mate closed down her phone and listened to the conversation while she shoved salt and vinegar crisps into her mouth. Her crunching was nearly as loud as Debs's voice.
'Well, he's got his own carpet business in Leadenbridge now. Got lots of staff. Doing really well,' Debs went on.
Debs's friend wasn't impressed. She pulled a face. 'Yeah, Dave's doing really well and still just as popular. That's why he's never at home, eh, Debs?'
Debs shot her a look that told her to shut it. She shoved some more crisps into her mouth.
Kevin had played football at school but only with the other kids who never got picked for the team. It wasn't that he was bad at it. He just never looked right. He was a bit plump, as he was now, but it was more than that. All the other kids had the right Adidas shorts, and the right trainers. Kevin's mum always bought him cheap ones from the market. Even at ten, kids could pick out a loser.
Debs was still going on about Dave. 'Anyway, I married him, and we've just moved into the new Bovis estate. We got the show-home up there. It's gorgeous. Three bathrooms. I'm a hairdresser at Cuts To Go in town. What about you?'
'Remember Linda Perry? We've been married seven years now. No kids, and definitely no poodle. I'm the deputy manager at The Bank, the one on Middle Street.'
'Linda? Wasn't she the zitty one with greasy hair and Mr Magoo glasses?'
Debs's friend was giggling now. Debs nudged her. Kevin did what he normally did at times like this. He just smiled. He didn't want to make a scene. 'Dunno… Anyway, she doesn't have spots or glasses or greasy hair now.'
'I remember Linda.' Debs turned to her mate who was now munching a Mars bar. 'They were the school geeks, yeah? Ah. That's love for you.'
Her mate swallowed and let out a high-pitched giggle.
Debs liked that and carried on taking the piss. 'Hey, Kev. You should do something about your hair. That side-parting just isn't on. Come and see me and I'll bring you into the nineteen nineties at least.' They stood up for their stop. The Mars bar wrapper and crisps packet were stuffed down the back of the seat. 'See ya, Kev. Listen, maybe don't bother with the cut. I'm sure the lovely Linda likes you just as you are, but what about some gel?'
Kevin heard more giggles as they disappeared down the stairs. No doubt Debs had made another joke about him. He should have said something back to her. But he hadn't been able to think of anything smart or witty. He was thirty this year, but it had been just like school. Some things never changed.
CHAPTER FIVE
Tesco was round the corner from Specsavers where Linda worked. She liked to meet him off the bus each night but as it was so cold and wet, Kevin had called her at lunchtime and said they would meet in the supermarket. They did their weekly shop on Friday nights.
Linda took the car to work as Specsavers had free staff parking round the back. Since Kevin finished work an hour earlier than she did, he took the bus to her so they could drive home together. He could have taken the bus all the way, but their ten-year-old Fiesta was on its last legs. Sometimes he had to get under the bonnet before it would start. Anyway, he liked to chat to Linda as they drove home together or went round the supermarket.
The next stop was his. As he got up, he spotted Linda in the doorway of the dry cleaner's. She looked lovely in her black coat, with her shoulder-length dark brown hair blowing across her face. So what if they had been geeks at school? They weren't now. Or, at least, Linda wasn't. He loved her, and always had, even at school. But he had been twenty before he had plucked up the courage to ask her out.
Linda looked up and saw him. She waved and smiled, her cheeks pink with cold. Kevin felt so lucky to have her. He ran down the stairs, jumped off the bus and was in the doorway with her. They kissed and Linda opened her umbrella. The wind turned it inside out. Kevin helped her to put it right.
'Why didn't you wait in Tesco's? Look at you, you're all wet.'
They walked off arm in arm towards the supermarket.
'I wanted to make sure you didn't get too wet. I thought I'd come to the rescue with what's left of my umbrella,' Linda told him. Like Kevin, she always made every effort to spend a few extra minutes with her other half. Kevin felt a surge of love for her. Neither of them had ever been out with anyone else. So what if other people thought they were geeks? So long as they had each other, it didn't matter. Occasionally, Kevin would lie in bed in the middle of the night and worry about what life would be like if she wasn't there. What if she left him? Or got ill and died? 'Come on. Let's get the shopping done and go home,' he said.
As they walked up to Tesco, Kevin said, 'I just met Debs on the bus. From school, remember?'
Of course Linda remembered. Debs had been the really pretty punk that all the boys fancied and all the girls had wanted to look like. 'You fancied her, didn't you?'
'Nah, not really. Well, OK. Everyone did. Not that she would have looked at me.'
'How is she? I never liked her.'
Kevin kept it brief. He didn't say Debs had been taking the piss out of his haircut. And his wife. 'She seemed OK, I suppose. Now, what shall we get for tea?'
CHAPTER SIX
The rain bounced off the windows of Kevin and Linda's house. It was a two-up, two-down Victorian terrace, nicely decorated in B&Q paints and nicely furnished by Ikea. They liked their home. It was warm and safe.
Kevin knew more about celebrity diets, liposuction and Oscar-night outfits than the average man should. Linda read gossip magazines. She always felt the need to share what she learned, so Kevin always knew what was hot and what was not. They finished off their microwave chicken dinner for two and cuddled up on the settee. Linda flicked through her latest magazine and Kevin picked up a holiday brochure. How could he tell her he still hadn't asked for the day off?
'What do you think of this, Kev?' Linda flapped the page under his nose.
'It's a woman in a long green dress.'
'It's Halle Berry. I'd love to look like her. Isn't her dress beautiful?'
'It's fine.'
'It's a bit better than that, Kev.'
'It's lovely, then.'
'You'll never make a fashion reporter.'
'And you'll never make a TV holiday presenter if you don't pick one out.' He bopped her on the head gently with the brochure. 'I'm wondering if we should look at your mum's caravan again. I know we really want Greece, but Southwold would be much cheaper. What do you think?'
Linda turned a few pages of blue skies and sea. 'Greece looks fantastic. Do you really fancy the caravan?'
'Not really. But there's the mortgage to pay, and that new car we keep talking about. Maybe we're pushing it this year.'
'OK. I'll ask her on Friday.' She put down the brochure. 'Hey, you know what, Kev? Maybe you should rob a bank instead of working in one.'
Kevin gave her a look that said, 'We never do bank-robbery jokes.'
'I know, I know! Only joking. But I was thinking about old George Rowland and all that cash he's got tucked away.'
'Don't you dare tell anyone I told you!' Kevin cut in. 'I'd lose my job!'
'But if your bank got robbed and all those safe-deposit boxes were opened, he wouldn't be able to tell anyone he'd had all that cash stolen, would he? Serve him right.'
She giggled.
'Just think if we had his money, Kev. We could pay off the mortgage, buy the car and a place in the sun, pay for my mum's treatment. I could even buy Halle Berry's green dress.'