author of 14,000 Things to Be Happy About
“Neil Pasricha takes us on a journey of incredible self-discovery. Easy to read + practical solutions = the best happiness book ever written.”
—JIM THOMPSON,
COO, Walmart China
“Neil Pasricha has created the Handbook for Life. Every day we are faced with a barrage of inputs that deflect us from being present with the things that really matter. The things that make us happy. Page by page, Neil weaves beautiful anecdotes into simple secrets for everyday life. The result: we are given the tools to sort perspectives and information in a way that allows us to see the goodness that the real world holds for us. Bravo, and thank you.”
—DAVID HAY,
former Managing Director, Merrill Lynch
“You know that wise friend you have? The one you call when you need hope, perspective, and someone to give you permission to do and think the things you know are best for you? Reading this book is like having wine with that friend.”
—DREW DUDLEY,
CEO, Nuance Leadership
“If you want to live your dreams now—not in five, ten or twenty years—then buy The Happiness Equation today. It is impossible to read this book without making changes that lead to living a more fulfilling life. Even if you’re in your eighties like me!”
—ROBERT WRIGHT,
former Chairman, Teck Resources
“Neil has masterfully distilled happiness. Both beautiful and pragmatic, Neil’s treatise elicits tears of acknowledgment and awakens the dormant reverie of a happier future.”
—JORDAN AXANI,
CEO, Triplust
“I’ve spent my life on the math of relationships, but this book entails the science of something I never covered at OkCupid: a person’s relationship with himself. It’s an excellent guide to making that relationship the strongest and happiest it can be.”
—CHRISTIAN RUDDER,
cofounder, OKCupid, and author of Dataclysm
“Be happy first. These three words are so counterintuitive that most of us don’t know what to do with them. Neil does.”
—SETH GODIN,
author of What to Do When It’s Your Turn
“Want to get happy? Steal everything you can from this book.”
—AUSTIN KLEON,
author of Steal Like an Artist
3 Ways to Get the Most out of This Book
3. Agree to disagree. You will not agree with all nine secrets the first time you read them. That’s okay. Expect to disagree. But remember you have the power to slowly let new ideas into your brain whenever you like. A hundred years before neuroplasticity became a buzzword, American philosopher William James said, “Plasticity, in the wide sense of the word, means the possession of a structure weak enough to yield to an influence but strong enough not to yield all at once.”
2. Change your scenery. Reading this book cover to cover in one night is fine. But if you change your scenery, you’ll get more out of it. A chapter in the buzzing airport, a chapter at the beach, a chapter in bed before flicking off your lamp. Our brains are stimulated by different air, smells, and sounds. Everywhere you read the book you’ll get something different from it and you’ll more easily recall the lessons. Carry this book as you’re moving.
1. Create a seven-day challenge. Any time you read an idea in this book that you want to try, give yourself a seven-day challenge. Write down every day in your calendar for seven days “Do X” and then try to do it. If you can do it for seven days, you just proved you could do it for seven days. Then you can do it for another seven days. Then it becomes a habit. Aristotle says, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS
Publishers Since 1838
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
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New York, New York 10014
Copyright © 2016 by Neil Pasricha
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
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eBook ISBN: 978-0-698-15569-5
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pasricha, Neil.
The happiness equation : want nothing + do anything = have everything / Neil Pasricha.
p. cm.
ISBN 978-0-399-16947-2 (hardback)
1. Happiness. 2. Conduct of life 3. Success. I. Title.
BJ1481.P38 2016 2015015845
158—dc23
Some names and details have been changed in the stories in this book.
Version_2
To my baby,
I wanted you to have this in case I didn’t get a chance to tell you,
Love, Dad
Contents
Praise for The Happiness Equation
3 Ways to Get the Most out of This Book
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Author’s Note
Want Nothing
Secret #1
The First Thing You Must Do Before You Can Be Happy
1. 6 words that will forever change how you see happiness
2. The single biggest reason it’s so hard to be happy
3. The one thing your doctor, teacher, and Tom Hanks all have in common
4. How much can we control?
5. 7 ways to be happy right now
6. A final lesson from the convent
Secret #2
Do This and Criticism Can’t Touch You
1. The only goal you set that matters
2. What’s the biggest problem with external goals?
3. 4 simple words that block all criticism
4. Why your dream job could be the worst job you ever have
5. The 3 S’s of success
6. The sad and unfortunate reason we listen to critics in the first place
7. The secret scribble to increasing your confidence
8. 3 simple steps to self-acceptance
9. How does Buddha use this secret?
10. What does a message secretly hidden under Wimbledon’s Centre Court show us?
11. “I don’t stand back and judge . . . I do.”
Secret #3
The Three Words That Will Save You on Your Very Worst Days
1. The first war you are fighting every day
2. The second war you are fighting every day
3. The one thing many billionaires want but cannot have
4. What does a Greek philosopher have in common with the Rolling Stones?
5. When does making a million dollars feel like nothing?
6. The classic tale of the Mexican fisherman
7. How to use the three words on your very worst days
Do Anything
Secret #4
The Dream We All Have That Is Completely Wrong
1. The terrible tragedy of Mr. Wilson