“I was having problems getting myself motivated to go to the gym. Every morning, I’d groggily wake up and say, ‘Ugh . . . I know I should get up . . .’ and then roll over and go back to sleep. Day after day—even though I genuinely wanted to go to the gym. I finally realized that ‘motivation’ alone has very little to do with successfully changing behaviors. I started testing different techniques: adding gym to my calendar, sleeping 30 minutes earlier. I would test different approaches for 2 weeks . . . I got mediocre results. But when I sat down to analyze why I wasn’t going to the gym, I realized: My closet was in another room. That meant I had to walk out in the cold, in my boxer shorts, to the other room, shivering while I put on my clothes. Easier to just stay in bed. Once I realized this, I folded my clothes and shoes the night before. When I woke up the next morning, I would roll over and see my gym clothes sitting on the floor. In fact, I couldn’t get up without stepping on them! The result? My gym attendance soared by over 300%.”
Many people have reported similar results from the Gym Clothes effect. Some even sleep in their gym clothes so they’re even “closer to doing” when they wake up. After all, they’ve already put their clothes on. Might as well go to the gym. My clothes are already on. It would take more work to change into something else.
Spend thirty seconds putting yourself in a situation where it’s easier to do.
This is me signing up for swimming lessons. Now, if I skipped my first lesson I would have wasted my money. Seinfeld put big red X’s on the calendar because he didn’t want to leave a day blank. Ramit Sethi put his gym clothes beside his bed. Want to stop eating chips? Hide them in your apartment. Make it easier to not eat chips when you get a craving and are watching TV. Then you won’t. And then you’ll think you’re able to avoid them. Then you’ll want to avoid them.
Pulling Do to the front and pushing Can Do and Want to Do into the distance where they don’t matter means you’ll get more done.
7
What does the greatest physicist of all time say?
First off, who was the greatest physicist of all time?
I say Isaac Newton. My opinion. Up there with Einstein. Why? Well, he discovered gravity, invented calculus, and built the telescope. Not bad! And did he believe in the Do Circle? Absolutely.
He explained it best in his First Law of Physics.
“An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted on by a larger force.”
Put it another way: Start doing something? You’ll continue.
Why?
Because motivation doesn’t cause action.
Action causes motivation.
8
The advertising slogan everyone knows because it follows this secret
Nike said it best.
Just Do It.
They began using that slogan in 1988, and it helped drive market share from 18% to 43% and sales from $877 million to $9.2 billion. Nike struck a nerve! A nerve we all have deep down inside.
Just do it.
Want to feel more confident presenting at work? Don’t take public speaking lessons. Don’t practice in the mirror. Just do it. Speak at the next team meeting. Just speak. Say one sentence. Then realize you can speak. Then realize you want to speak. Because you know what will happen if you don’t? You’ll never speak. You’ll place speaking in team meetings way down your rickety rails of confidence and desire. You’ll take jobs without speaking opportunities. You’ll never sign up to present. You’ll dissolve into a corporate wallflower.
Don’t do that.
Just do it.
9
The single greatest lesson we can learn from Home Alone
One of my favorite movies as a kid was Home Alone. We watched it on TV every Christmas. Kevin gets stranded in his mansion when his family flies to Paris for the Christmas holidays and he’s left to discover himself, fight off burglars, and make friends with the scary old man next door.
There’s a great scene near the end of the movie when Kevin is talking to that old man. The old man confides that he’s fallen out of touch with his son. They’re not speaking. He thinks about him every Christmas but can’t pick up the phone. Why not? Why can’t he do it?
Confidence and motivation. He doesn’t think he can do and as a result he doesn’t want to do.
I mention this story because in that scene Kevin does a great job explaining what the potential downside is when we confront our fears head-on by just doing them.
KEVIN: I’ve always been afraid of our basement. It’s dark, there’s weird stuff down there, and it smells funny, that sort of thing. It’s bothered me for years.
OLD MAN: Basements are like that.
KEVIN: Then I made myself go down there to do some laundry and I found out it’s not so bad. All this time I’ve been worrying about it, but if you turn on the lights, it’s no big deal.
OLD MAN: What’s your point?
KEVIN: My point is you should call your son.
OLD MAN: What if he won’t talk to me?
KEVIN: At least you’ll know. Then you could stop worrying about it. And you won’t have to be afraid anymore.
What’s the worst thing that happens if you speak up at the company meeting? You fail miserably. But, as Kevin says, at least you know. Then you don’t have to be afraid anymore. And then you can try doing it again or do something else.
What are the chances of failing miserably?
Very low. The greatest leaders just try and try and try. They try. And then they try. And then they try some more. Sure, you will fail at some things. But you’ll keep moving. And more often you’ll succeed. Little wins turn into confidence and desire to try again, which leads to bigger wins.
You gain momentum.
What did comedian Steven Wright say about building momentum?
“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.”
In that quote, he’s describing that invisible butterfly feeling of forward progress we all get in our stomachs when we suddenly just start.
It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting.
Now go forward.
Just do it.
Secret #8
The Simple Way to Master Your Most Important Relationship
1
“I run a burlesque dancing troupe.”
I draw muscles in medical textbooks.”
“I sell an aspirational online existence.”
I stared at the girl with neon-pink hair sitting across the picnic table at the downtown hostel bar, smiled and raised my eyebrows, and took a sip of beer.
I was twenty-nine years old and sitting at a picnic table, a year after a divorce, a year of living alone, a year of therapy, and finally deciding to try online dating. I posted a profile I hoped was authentic. Quirks, weirdness, warts, and all. I spent so long thinking about who I was and what I needed that I had whittled it down to five words: Curious, Creative, Romantic, Optimistic, Ambitious.
I hoped that would all add up to fun and interesting and weird.
As John Lennon said, “It’s weird not to be weird.”
I wrote about my love of peeling a clementine into one big snaking peel, the dusty warm air before a thunderstorm, and putting one macaroni noodle on each spoke of the fork while eating it. I wrote about how I always peek behind the shower curtain when I’m brushing my teeth to make sure nobody’s hiding there. About how I arrange my books in the Dewey Decimal System. About my inability to use a hammer, walk up two flights of stairs without losing my breath, or properly tie my shoelaces. Quirks, weirdness, warts, and all.